kintsugi
by DiscordianSamba
Summary: After being banished from the Fire Nation with no way to return, Zuko does the best he can to survive in hostile enemy territory, which leads him to some... questionable decisions. Caught trying to steal food from a noble Earth Kingdom family, his life takes a bizarre twist when they end up hiring him instead. His job? Watch over their blind daughter, Toph. (AU)
1. kintsugi

So, this story! I first should preface this with an updated on my Voltron stories for anyone who follows me for that: I have about half of the next chapter of _long live the queen_ written, so hopefully I'll get to finishing that within the next week or so! But on to this story in particular- I got Avatar the Last Airbender on Blu-Ray recently and have been rewatching the series in my spare time, so of course, me being me, I instantly start thinking of Totally Self-Indulgent AUs because this is what I do. I feel like my two favorite Avatar characters being Zuko and Toph should come as a total non-surprise to anyone, so alas, how sad it is that the two never got that life-changing field trip.

But what's better than a life-changing field trip? An AU where Toph gets to hog Zuko for three whole years. Hence this. The title is taken from _kintsugi_, the art of repairing damaged pottery with gold, which felt extremely fitting for an au that focuses on everyone's favorite earth and fire benders. I plan to write a lot more for this, and actually have a lot of stuff planned, but updates will probably be sporadic bc I've got all that Voltron fic to get back to working on as well. Just had to get this one out of me while I had the chance!

Also a special shout out to my good buddy Kit for listening to me ramble about this AU for like... hours, over the course of several days. They know all the secrets now.

* * *

**kintsugi**

* * *

He wouldn't have done it if he wasn't desperate.

It was that and hunger, but the two were pretty much the same thing in this context anyways. When he'd been dropped off- more like _dumped_, really- at the nearest mainland Earth Kingdom port, he'd only been given enough coin to last for about two months, _if _he was frugal.

It had been four months since then. He'd long since run out of coin, and out of anything he had that was worth any value to sell. At least, anything that he was still willing to give up. He'd spent his last copper pieces on a loaf of bread three villages ago, and had eaten the last piece of said bread two weeks prior. Once he'd polished that off, all he'd managed to find were various nuts and berries he was only half-sure weren't poisonous.

He hadn't lost any of those bets yet, but he wasn't willing to bank the trend continuing. He'd always had bad luck. Maybe his father had been right- maybe he _was _just lucky to be born.

Or maybe his father was just an awful man who liked mutilating children.

It was hard not to think that, not when the evidence was burned into almost every village he'd passed thus far. Maybe none so obvious as the unwanted lesson that had been seared into his face, but the war had followed him everywhere he went, seared into the land and into the people themselves. It was everywhere he looked, and he couldn't even try to pretend that his father, to some extent, didn't know about it. Not when he'd been willing to sacrifice an entire division of young soldiers whose only crime was being loyal to a nation and a ruler who clearly didn't deserve it.

Some of those who bore the marks of his nation's advance were even younger than him. Some older- _much _older.

(People who couldn't fight back. Not just people who had refused, like he had.)

Gaoling was the first he'd been in that _didn't _bear any visible scars from the war. Even then, it was probably only a matter of time.

It was why he had let his guard down so much- he didn't think anyone would be looking for him here. That is, if anyone _was _looking for him, and they didn't just think he was dead. There were already vague rumors starting to spread that the Firelord had banished his only son. He wasn't sure how far those rumors had gotten, or if anyone even knew what he even looked like. Nobody really thought much of his odds of survival- whether it was just because they thought of him as a stupid, spoiled prince, or because they just didn't think he'd survive the burn his father had inflicted on him. He'd had precious little time to heal from it before he was forced out of the Fire Nation and into exile.

Now he was here, in the Earth Kingdom, with no possible way to return home. His father had even gone so far as to bar him from setting foot in any of their colonies.

It was a death sentence in everything but name only.

His father _wanted _him dead. He just couldn't be bothered to do it himself. Realizing that had been almost as painful as getting half his face burned off.

_Almost_.

And now, forced to his knees inside the same kind of grand, sprawling manor that had once been his birthright, he couldn't help but wonder if his father was about to get his wish. Gritting his teeth, he stared down at the floor, like he was more angry at it than he was himself. It had been so stupid- all he'd needed was to get in, grab some fruit, and get out. It wasn't even that hard, so how had he let himself get caught?

He wasn't proud of resorting to theft, but he was even _less _proud of getting caught.

"Who is this?"

He didn't think it was possible, but he managed to grit his teeth even more at the nobleman's tone- that, and the way the question wasn't even addressed to _him_, but to the guard at his side. He was the one who'd earthbent the restraints into place, though they were loose enough that with some effort, he could probably wriggle free. As far as oversights went, it seemed like a pretty suspicious one.

Maybe he'd taken one look at the intruder he'd been called to capture, and had taken pity on him.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"We caught him sneaking around in the gardens." The guard informed his employers. "He had these on him."

He didn't look up, already knowing what it was that he held out. The dual dao were one of the few things he still had from home- the only weapon he had, other than the knife tucked into his boot, the one they hadn't found yet. It had been a gift from his uncle- so had the swords, actually.

Uncle Iroh hadn't been in the Fire Nation when... well, when everything had happened. He didn't even know if he knew about it yet- depending on where he was, it could take _months _for the rumors of his banishment to reach him, and even longer for him to return to the Fire Nation to verify the truth for himself.

He doubted father would have so much as bothered to send him a single message.

"I see." He didn't even have to look up to see the sharp incline of the nobleman's brows- his tone was enough. "And what were you planning on doing, young man, sneaking around with such things?"

He was half tempted to remain silent out of spite. But while the guard who had restrained him might have taken a small amount of pity on him, the guard keeping him kneeling definitely wasn't. Jerking his head up, he looked the nobleman in his eye, taking the tiniest amount of satisfaction from the way they paled at the sight of his face.

Or at the very least, the left half of it.

"Stealing your fruit." Zuko said bluntly.

"While carrying swords?" The nobleman asked, once he had recovered from his initial shock.

He was pointedly trying to avoid looking at his left.

"I wasn't planning to kill anyone, if that's what you're thinking." Zuko said. "I was just hungry. I don't exactly have any money, and you have _a lot_ of fruit trees."

The nobleman tilted his head, like he was contemplating his words. Well, at least he wasn't ordering his death on the spot, or hauling him away to Agni knows where.

"Let him stand." The nobleman finally said, motioning with his hand as if he expected him to rise with it, like a puppet on strings. He almost wanted to laugh, but he bit it back, stumbling to his feet the moment the guard let him up, drawing himself to his full height- whatever that was worth.

Compared to the two guards who flanked him, not much.

"What's your name, boy?" The nobleman asked.

Zuko twitched, more at being asked his name than at being called _boy_. _Zuko _was a Fire Nation name, and if there was one thing he'd learned in his four months in the Earth Kingdom, it was that being Fire was a dangerous thing here. It was why shortly after arriving, he'd cut off his phoenix tail, as much as it pained him to do so. He might have already lost his honor, but cutting it off had made it all feel so _final_, in a way that being banished hadn't. He drew less attention this way, but only so much- there might be others with pale skin and dark hair in the Earth Kingdom, but gold eyes weren't found anywhere outside of the Fire Nation.

It didn't stop him from meeting the nobleman's eyes.

"Li," he lied, blurting out the first name that came to mind, "-it's Li."

He was a terrible liar, he knew, but the nobleman seemed to buy it. "How old are you?"

"Thirteen." Zuko said. It wasn't a lie this time.

Something in the nobleman's face twitched, but he wasn't good enough at reading people to determine what that meant That was more of Azula's thing.

Azula, who was probably gleefully embracing her new role as crown princess, while he was being treated like a common criminal.

(Azula, who he'd left alone with their father.)

"And where are your parents, Li?" The nobleman asked. "Surely they wouldn't approve."

They wouldn't, and for two different reasons, Zuko couldn't help but think.

"They're gone." He said instead. It wasn't technically a lie. His mother had been gone for years, and his father had removed himself from his life- or had removed him from his.

"Gone." The nobleman repeated, this time actually managing to hold his gaze.

He saw his brows crease, and bad at reading people or not, he'd seen that on enough faces to recognize it as the moment the man registered the fact that his eyes were _gold_. Zuko tensed, holding his breath. If he could firebend, he be able to gain the element of surprise, maybe enough to get away.

_If _he could firebend.

He hadn't been able to, not since the Agni Kai. Not since...

He tried not to think about it.

The nobleman leaned back in his chair, idly stroking his thin mustache. He was drawing his own conclusions, so Zuko just shut up and let him. Anything he could come up with was hopefully better than any attempt on his part to lie his way out of the situation. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd just go to jail for a few days.

At least they'd feed him there, some part of him that wasn't as prideful as the rest thought. He was pretty sure it was his stomach.

"Where are you from, Li?" The nobleman questioned.

Zuko dropped his gaze. He wasn't sure he liked the pity he saw there, and didn't want to read too much into it. "Around."

"Hm," he felt the nobleman's gaze shift, back towards the guard, "-it _is _rather late. Perhaps I will mull this over with a clearer head in the morning."

"What should we do with him?" The guard who had taken pity on him asked.

"There is an empty room in the servant's quarters." The nobleman said. "Take him there. And remove the restraints. They seem a bit much for a thirteen year old _fruit thief_."

Zuko's shoulders sagged. At least he'd believed part of his story. Maybe he'd scrape through this yet. Without the restraints, it would be easier to escape. He could be gone before the sun rose.

"Make sure someone gives him a proper meal," the nobleman instructed, and then, with a bit more disdain, "-and a proper _bath_, perhaps."

Zuko felt an ugly flush rise to his cheeks, grateful he was already looking at the floor. He'd done what he could to keep himself clean, but there was only so much he could do in cold streams without any soap around. He couldn't even heat up the water with his firebending. That didn't even require any actual _flame_, and even that was beyond him.

He wondered if his father knew this would happen. He wouldn't put it past him.

"And his swords?" The other guard asked, seemingly less enthused at the prospect of letting him loose.

"Keep them."

Zuko's head snapped up, his eyes going wide. No. No, he needed those. They were the only connection he had to home, and he wasn't willing to give them up yet. And without his firebending, they were the only thing he could depend on to protect himself.

There must have been desperation in his eyes, because the nobleman merely frowned, and added, "-for now."

Zuko felt himself breathe again, but he didn't relax, not this time. He couldn't leave here without his dao. Maybe he could overpower the guards and take them back- but no, fighting them was what had gotten him caught in the first place. It would be a lot easier to slip out when no one was looking.

Which meant his only real option was to wait until morning, and hope that the nobleman decided to let him go. He hadn't called for his arrest yet, and he was even offering him a meal and a bath- which was more than he'd had in _months_. But hope wasn't something that came easy to him- not anymore, at least.

Not since his mother vanished.

He grit his teeth again, staring back down at the floor. He hated living like this, having to do everything he could just to survive, and even then only barely managing to scrape by. It shouldn't be this way- he was a _prince_!

_Was _a prince, a voice in the back of his head reminded him. It sounded too much like Azula for his comfort, and it's enough to take the fire out of him.

_Was _a prince. Not anymore. He couldn't go home again. Not ever.

All he could do was try to survive.

* * *

The increase in guards didn't exactly slip her notice.

She felt a slight bubble of apprehension as she crept back towards the manor, wondering if someone had noticed she was missing. But the guards weren't looking for anyone, like they would be if they had, she quickly realized- they were just _there_.

Huh.

Either way, it motivated her to make short work of the trip back to her room. Even without her earth sense, it was an easy enough path to follow- she'd only done this more times than she could count already. If she wanted to practice earthbending- _really _practice it, not just the breathing exercises and boring baby basics that Master Yu had her doing- she couldn't exactly stick around the house, after all. Her parents would _freak _if they knew what she was doing.

Would that stop her? No, of course not. It just meant that she had to be _sneaky _about it.

And she was good at sneaky.

Increased guard or not, Toph made it back to her room without any trouble. Just in time, too- she could hear footsteps coming down the hall. She practically dove into her bed, flinging her covers over herself in an attempt to make it look like she had been here, asleep in bed the entire time- an act that she'd had plenty of chances to practice.

It wasn't long before she could hear the guards outside her door. She didn't need her earth sense to tell they were guards either- all she needed was the heavy sound of their footsteps and their not so hushed whispers as they peeked into her room. If it was one of the servants, they would have been more subtle about it.

"She's asleep." One of them said in a soft voice, quiet enough that it wouldn't have woken her if she _was _actually sleeping, but still loud enough that it was audible when she wasn't. "I don't think she noticed anything."

Her back turned the door, Toph's brow shot up. Notice _what_? The increase in guards? Because she'd totally noticed that.

"Good." The other said, slightly louder. "If anything happened to her, it would be _our _heads."

Okay, now she was super curious. What the heck had she missed? Had something actually _interesting _happened around here while she was gone? Nothing interesting _ever _happened around here.

Just her luck she'd missed it.

The door slid shut, but she could still hear the soft conversation of the guards outside. "Think the kid's going to stick around till morning?"

_What kid_, Toph wanted to ask, but years of practice in not saying what was on her mind around her parents held her tongue for her.

"Depends." The other replied, still speaking at a volume that was too loud to be a whisper. She rolled her eyes, wondering if the moron thought she was deaf, too. "Huan said he seemed pretty attached to those swords. I don't think he's going to be leaving without them."

_**What **__swords_, Toph wanted to ask even more. Her first thought was a thief, but there weren't any even swords in the manor to steal- at least, not that she knew of. Besides, from the sound of it, they were sticking around voluntarily- not something a thief would do, at least, not one that wasn't a total dunderhead.

It actually kind of sounded like the swords belonged to _him _anyways.

She was almost starting to regret sneaking out tonight. _Something _had clearly happened while she was gone.

"If not that, maybe the lure of a warm bed'll do it." The first guard observed. "I caught a glimpse of the kid as Huan and Yang were hauling him in. Kinda looked like death warmed over, you know?"

Toph rolled her eyes. Gee, thanks for the great visual. That told her absolutely nothing.

The other guard seemed to understand it well enough, though. "The master will probably just send him on his way tomorrow morning. Nothing good comes from keeping a kid like _that _around."

Toph almost grunted in frustration. Like _what_!? _Context_, people!

"I thought you didn't see him."

"No, but I heard. Kind of hard not to."

Okay, that did it. Sitting up in bed, Toph paused for just a second to dust herself off as much as possible. She couldn't _feel _any dirt clinging to her still, but better safe than sorry. Making her way towards the door, she lightly tapped on it, taking no small amount of satisfaction at the way the guards jumped at the sound of it.

One of them cracked the door open. "Miss Beifong. We didn't mean to wake you."

"Has something happened?" Toph asked, barely managing to keep the impatient demand out of her voice.

"Nothing you need to worry about, miss," came the reply.

The edges of her lips twitched downwards in a frown. "Please?"

She could feel the guards shifting uncertainly on their feet, and fought the urge to grin. The pouty face got them every time.

"It really is nothing that you need to be concerned about," one said, "-it was just a boy who snuck in to steal some fruit from the trees."

Toph arched a brow. That's it? All this just for some fruit thief? That seemed a little extreme, even for her parents. "And does my father know about this?"

"Of course. Your father spoke with him already."

"And?" Toph asked, now outright fishing for information. They'd probably just think she was cranky from being woken up.

"Your father took pity on him, and allowed him to stay overnight in the servant's quarters." The guard hesitantly replied. "But I'm certain he'll be gone by morning."

Toph hummed, before faking a yawn. "Oh. If that's all, I would like to go back to sleep now."

She could hear the rustle of fabric she had come to associate with bowing, just as well as she could sense the motions. "Of course. Our apologies for waking you."

The door slid shut again, leaving Toph alone. For a moment, she considered making her way towards the servants quarters to get a sense of this _fruit thief_ for herself, but quickly decided against it. While her father wasn't exactly the type to throw a kid to the wolves, he also wasn't the type to let an unknown factor reside on the grounds of their manor without having _someone _keep watch on them. She'd probably just get caught if she tried to sneak out, earth sense or no earth sense.

Besides, who knew? Maybe the kid _would _actually stick around until morning.

With that thought, she let out another yawn- a real one this time, and trudged back into her bed. Without the guards mumbling outside her door, she fell asleep quickly.

* * *

He woke with a startled jerk, just as the first rays of sunlight arced over the horizon.

For a split second, he couldn't remember where he was, before the previous evening's events caught up with him. It didn't serve to relax him at all. He hadn't actually meant to fall asleep. It hadn't even been that comfortable, just a thin mattress placed on a stone floor. He must have been more exhausted than he'd realized.

He hadn't exactly slept well- not since his banishment.

Groaning, he dragged himself to his feet. If things here worked anything like they did back home, then there would already be servants who were awake and prepping for the day. Any chance he might have had of slipping back into the main house and taking back his swords was pretty much gone, leaving him with two options- either wait until he was summoned, or leave without them. Maybe he wouldn't be able to make his way back into the main house without being noticed, but it was still early enough that he could at least slip out.

...and leave himself without anything to defend himself with.

Running a hand through his scruffy hair, he let out a frustrated sigh. He had his knife, but that would only go so far. As long as he wasn't able to firebend, he'd need those swords.

How pathetic. A firebender who was afraid of fire. He'd never heard of anything so absurd before.

Dropping his hand, Zuko settled back down on the floor to wait. Closing his eyes, he did his best to remember the breathing exercises that his uncle had once taught him. Lately they felt more comfortable than anything he had learned from the Fire Sages. He wished his uncle had been able to teach him more, but after Lu Ten's death, he had never stayed in the palace for longer than a handful of weeks at the most. Everyone said that he was haunted by the memories of his lost son, and that it made him weak- that was why he had ended his six hundred day siege on the city of Ba Sing Se, the only failure in his otherwise long and illustrious career as a general.

He'd never agreed.

Taking in a deep breath, he slowly let it out. He hadn't been able to properly meditate since he'd been banished, but now was as good a time as any, he guessed. He was just glad that he could still feel the sun's energy, his own inner fire responding to it as it slowly made its way over the horizon.

It gave him hope that he hadn't lost his firebending completely.

The sun had been up for a little over an hour when he picked up on the sound of footsteps outside the small room he'd been given. Peeking an eye open, he turned towards it with a slight frown. They sounded too slight to belong to one of the guards, or even one of the servants- unless the servants here all had exceptionally small feet.

They also weren't trying to come inside.

Frown deepening, Zuko rose to his feet. "Who's there?"

"Wow, good ears. And here I thought I was being sneaky."

The voice was pitched high- a child, maybe a young girl. Zuko's brow furrowed, already feeling a lot less tense. A child probably wasn't much of a threat.

He was, however, confused.

"Who are you?" Zuko asked.

"I should be the one asking you that," the girl replied, making no move to come in, or even open the door, "-seeing as you're in _my _house and all."

"Your-" Zuko began, even as pieces clicked together, "-are you that daughter of that nobleman?"

She could have just been the child of a servant, but servant children didn't typically refer to grand estates as _their _house. It was safe to assume when she said it was hers, she meant it.

"That's a distinct possibility." The girl replied, almost sounding amused. "I hear you tried to break in last night."

Zuko's remaining brow twitched. Had she come to spy on him, like he was some kind of spectacle? His burn might make him _look _like a freak, but he was _not _a spectacle. Storming towards the door, he threw it open, not wanting to further engage in a conversation with someone he couldn't even _see_.

-and quickly realized why the reverse hadn't bothered the girl in the slightest.

She was _blind_.

He'd seen blind people before. On one of his rare visits back to the royal palace, Uncle Iroh had taken him to a hospital that had been set up to treat wounded soldiers. Among those being treated were those who had lost their eyesight in the war- some due to retaliation from earthbenders, and others still due to their own flames turning back on them. He was nearly half-blind himself now, his left eye reduced to a mere slit.

The glassy eyes and unblemished face of the petite Earth Kingdom girl told him that she was none of those.

She was also completely unfazed by his reaction. "Wow, _someone's _testy."

"I-" Zuko began, abruptly realizing he had no idea what to say.

Peeking down the hall, he tried to see if anyone else was around- some kind of guard of some kind. Surely they wouldn't have just let the young lady of the house come on her own to meet someone who had broken in, right? Especially not when she was _blind_\- and tiny, Zuko couldn't help but realize. He'd always been tall for his age, but even then, she barely came up over his waist.

And yet... there wasn't a single guard. Not even any servants. She was alone.

What was going _on_?

"If you're looking for my keepers," the girl began, a tooth-baring grin that didn't suit her fancy clothes at all on her face, "-they're not around."

Zuko blinked, staring down at the girl in confusion. How did she-?

"Why are you," he began, finally finding his voice, "-why are you _here_?"

"Because you breaking in is the one interesting thing that's happened in here in literal _years_." She replied. "Why _wouldn't _I want to come see you?"

Something about the girl's toothy grin told him that her choice of words was a trap. He huffed again, the feeling of being a spectacle returning. It felt like people had done nothing _but _stare at him since he'd come to the Earth Kingdom- though typically, it was the scar that drew their attention.

This girl though... she couldn't see the scar. Or anything, for that matter. But apparently, that wasn't enough to stop her from wanting to gawk at him anyways. He crinkled his nose, disgusted at how he must seem to her- the poor starving peasant boy who broke into her home just to take a small handful of what she had in abundance.

For someone who'd been one once, he sure was starting to hate rich people.

"I'm not here for you to gawk at." Zuko said firmly. "I just want to get my swords back from your father so I can leave already."

"But where's the fun in that?" The girl asked, not even so much as blinking at the change in his tone. "The name's Toph, by the way. Toph Beifong."

"I didn't ask." Zuko said flatly.

The girl- _Toph_\- remained completely unfazed, the edge of her mouth twitching upwards in amusement instead. "Geez, did something crawl in your bed and die? I'm trying to be _friendly _here."

"I broke into your house, and you want to be _friends_?" Zuko asked in disbelief.

"Why not?" Toph shrugged. "You don't sound much older than me. And my parents don't exactly allow me to talk to other kids my age. Or anyone at all, actually."

Something in Zuko deflated at that. She hadn't come here to make a spectacle out of him- she'd come here because she was _lonely_.

And that was something he could understand. _More _than understand, even. He never had friends either. Azula made sure of that.

"Oh." Zuko finally said, his voice quiet. "That's um... that's not great of them."

To his surprise, Toph laughed. "Wow, you sure have a way with words, Scruffy."

"Scru- my name is not _Scruffy_." Zuko said quickly, one hand self-consciously flying to his hair. It wasn't _that _scruffy, was it? And how could she even _tell_?

"Then what _is _your name?" Toph asked, tilting her head curiously. "You didn't say."

"Li." Zuko said, quickly recalling the false name he'd given her father last night. "I'm Li."

The girl's brows shot up, but she only continued to grin. "I think Scruffy suits you better."

Zuko just grumbled, crossing his arms in front of him. "Aren't you blind? How do you even know what my hair looks like?"

Toph just continued to give him that toothy grin. "I don't. You just sound like a Scruffy."

"That doesn't even make any sense." Zuko said.

"Hey, it's not my fault you don't understand a good nickname." Toph said.

Zuko opened his mouth to say something, but stopped short at the sound of footsteps. These were much heavier than Toph's had been- and sure enough, mere seconds later, the pair of guards from last night rounded the corner. Toph visibly flinched, but he was blocking the only escape route, leaving the young noble girl nowhere to hide.

Whoops.

"Miss Beifong!" One of the two- the one who had made sure his cuffs were somewhat loose- exclaimed. "I don't think- you shouldn't be here."

It was amazing, the way Toph's posture transformed. Where her shoulders had been squared before, set with confidence, they now relaxed, giving her a far more meek appearance. Even her voice, when she spoke, sounded like the fight had washed out of it in a rush.

He didn't believe it for a second.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. "I was just curious."

"You know your father doesn't want you to wander the estate on your own." The guard continued to scold her. "Especially not when there are strangers around."

Zuko stiffened, but said nothing. It wasn't like he couldn't understand why they might be concerned. He'd taken up their offer of a warm bath, so he was at least more presentable than he'd been last night, but he knew he looked more like a half-starved refugee than he did a prince. He'd be suspicious of him too.

"But Li's _nice_." Toph insisted. "He wouldn't hurt me. Right, Li?"

"Uh," Zuko blinked, struggling to keep a neutral expression even as he wondered what he'd done to give off the impression of being _nice_, "-right. I wouldn't- I wouldn't do that."

"See?" Toph said. "Do you think my father would let him stay?"

Wait- what? Staring down at Toph, Zuko could only blink. They'd barely spent longer than three minutes together- and he'd snapped at her for more than part of it. Was she really that lonely that even the slightest promise of companionship from someone close to her own age was enough to leave her wanting more?

(Of course it was. He'd been exactly the same.)

The guards shifted on their feet, clearly more uncomfortable with this situation than he was. "He's a thief, Miss Beifong."

"He tried to steal fruit, not priceless family heirlooms." Toph said, just a hint of the edge her voice had held previously coming back. "And _I _like him."

"I don't think your father would-"

"In that case," Toph said, grabbing his wrist without even the slightest hint of fumbling to find it, "-I will talk to father myself."

Before Zuko could get another word out, Toph was already storming past the guards, with him in tow. If Azula saw him like this, being dragged by the wrist by a blind girl half his size, she would have laughed at him. Toph's grip was surprisingly firm, but nothing he couldn't break out of if he really wanted to.

He didn't.

* * *

'Li' was already shaping up to be way more interesting than she'd anticipated.

Oh, she knew _Li _wasn't his actual name. It had been super obvious. He'd tried to sound curt about it, like that would make selling the lie a little easier, but there was no fooling her feet. Normally she would be a bit miffed about someone lying to her, but honestly, lying about something as basic as his name only served to make him _more _interesting.

She liked a little enigma in a person.

"So," she chirped, "-where are you from, Li?"

"Around." Li said rather curtly. "What are you even-?"

"I'm nine." Toph cut him off, answering a question he hadn't even asked. "How about you?"

"...thirteen." Li replied- and huh, that was the truth. Guess he didn't just _sound _young.

"You know how to use those swords the guards took from you?" Toph asked.

"Yes." Li quickly replied, then added, "-why?"

"Just wanted to make sure." She said, pleased to see that he was telling the truth.

After all, her whole plan hinged on this guy knowing how to fight. She wasn't kidding about Li being the first interesting thing to happen around here for years. And from the sound of it, he didn't exactly have much going on in his life either, not if he was trying to steal fruit that he _should _have just been able to buy in the market. Probably couldn't afford it, she thought. With his clothes on, she couldn't tell for sure if he was scrawny or not- at least, not with her earth sense.

Her own hand, however, informed her that his wrist was both too thin and bony. Coupled with the fact that he'd been trying to steal food... well, she wasn't exactly the _champion of justice_ type or anything, but kids barley older than her shouldn't be starving.

(His wrist also felt unusually warm, but eh. She'd been accused of having cold hands before, so maybe Li's were what temperature hands were _supposed _to feel like.)

"Where are you even taking me?" Li asked.

"Getting you a job, duh!" Toph said. Hadn't he been listening?

Li came to an abrupt halt, grinding his feet into the dirt with a surprising amount of stubbornness. He'd make a halfway decent earthbender, she couldn't help but think to herself, even as he snatched his bony wrist back from her. She could sense the way he deliberately straightened his posture, jerking his chin upwards.

"I don't need your pity." He said, an echo of pride clinging to his words.

Toph just groaned. "Its not pity, Scruffy. I'm just trying to help you out."

"Same thing." Li said.

"So what, you'd rather starve to death on the streets?" Toph asked.

"I wouldn't-" Li began, but cut himself short. "Look. I appreciate the thought, but all I want is to get my swords back and be on my way."

There was a slight pause there, before he added, "-and also preferably not be arrested."

"Why?" Toph asked. "You have somewhere to go?"

Li's continued silence was answer enough.

"Then don't be so quick to dismiss my help, Scruffy. Besides," she told him, "-this is as much for me as it is for you."

"What do you-?"

"Toph!"

Toph huffed slightly, annoyed at the interruption even if she _had _sensed it coming. She wasn't sure how her father had even gotten here so fast, but if she had to guess, then she would say that one of the guards had taken a shortcut to get him. It wasn't like she could move very fast with Li's dead weight behind her.

Who, incidentally, had dropped half a step back.

"Toph, what are you doing here?" Her father said, grasping her by the shoulders. His touch was feather light, like he was afraid she would shatter at even the smallest amount of pressure. "You should be in your room, not-"

"-not talking to the only person that's been here since forever that's anywhere _near _close to my age?" Toph finished for him.

That gave her father some pause. Good.

"Toph," her father slowly began, "-I can understand why you might be lonely, but you know why your mother and I keep you here. We are not trying to be cruel."

"I know." Toph said, fighting the urge to grit her teeth. She knew her parents thought they were doing the right thing by protecting her, but sometimes it just felt so _suffocating_. "You just want to keep me safe."

"Exactly." Her father agreed, his hands slipping away from her as he rose, as if he thought their conversation was already done and over with. "Now, as for _you_, young man-"

She opened her mouth to say that she wasn't done talking yet, when Li caught her off guard. She couldn't help but wonder if her feet were as broken as her eyes, because it felt a lot like he'd _bowed _to her father- the kind of proper noble, courtly bow that she'd been taught to do herself, her mother guiding her through the actions like she was some kind of doll. His was almost perfect- even if he _did _nearly mess up the hand movements. Maybe she wasn't an expert on homeless kids, but that didn't exactly seem like the kind of thing your average one knew how to do.

She knew he was an interesting guy.

"I apologize." Li said in a clear voice. "I didn't mean to cause any further trouble."

If _she _had been caught off guard, then her father had been even more so. He straightened further, as he would in the company of another noble.

"It is... quite alright." He said, hesitantly, as if he wasn't really sure it was. "I understand this was my daughter's idea. Despite her blindness, she can be rather stubborn at times."

"I'm sorry about trying to steal from you too." Li added.

Toph had to fight to keep her expression neutral. From the sound of his heartbeat, he didn't seem as sorry about stealing as he was about being caught.

"Yes, well," her father cleared his throat, "-I have thought it over since last night, and I suppose in light of your young age, I can overlook this incident."

"Thank you." Li said, sounding honestly relieved. "If you can return my swords to me, I can be gone quickly."

_Before you have cause to change your mind_, Toph mentally added for him. Not that he needed to worry- her father was a lot of things, but he wasn't the kind of guy who dragged a thirteen year old kid to the local guard just over some stolen fruit. It wasn't like he'd tried to kidnap _her _or something.

Not that he could, of course. She'd totally wipe the floor with his scrawny ass.

"Very well then." Her father said, lifting a hand. "Huan, retrieve the boy's swords."

"Actually," Toph chose then to interject, "-I think he should stay."

Her father turned to face her. She wasn't sure what a disapproving expression actually looked like, but she was positive that was what his face was set in. "Toph, I do not think-"

"But he has nowhere else to go!" Toph insisted. "We can't just send him out into the cold, can we?"

She knew how her father worked. If she didn't make her move now, didn't put her foot down, she wouldn't get another chance. And then it would be back to her boring, isolated life, with nothing but boring old men and giggling servants to talk to. Sure, Li seemed a little lacking in the whole _social graces_ department- but at least he was proving interesting to talk to.

Her father turned his head, presumably looking towards Li. "Do you?"

"I-" Li began, only to quickly think better about whatever it was he'd planned to say. "Yes."

"That's a lie." Toph said firmly, narrowing her eyes.

What was his deal, anyways? She was trying to help him out here. Not many people were offered a deal as sweet as the one she was about to. Why didn't he just accept the favor and be happy about it?

She felt her father shift on his feet. "Well, I suppose I could see if there is anyone in Gaoling looking for an... _able-bodied_ worker."

Toph frowned slightly at that. She hadn't exactly missed that small hesitation before he'd deemed Li as _able-bodied_. Was there something wrong with him? From what she could tell, he seemed to have all his limbs in all the right places, and he could certainly _hear _her. She briefly wondered if he might be blind, before she quickly shelved the idea. He didn't _seem _blind- or like he was actually an earthbender who was doing the same thing she was. The way he held himself wasn't right for that.

Which left her at a loss as to what could possibly be _wrong _with him. Maybe he was just skinner than she thought he was? She couldn't exactly get a solid read on clothing, but his did seem a little on the loose side, but she'd just chalked that up as it being slightly too big for him. His wrist had been bony, but it hadn't been quite _that _bony.

"Thank you." Li said quickly. "But I really should be heading on."

Toph narrowed her eyes. All she wanted was some company around here for once, so why was everyone being so dang stubborn?

Well. It was a good thing _she _was stubborn too.

Heaving a long sigh, Toph let her shoulders slump. "Well, if you're really _that _insistent, I guess I'll just have to resign myself to wallowing in my own loneliness again."

_That _got a reaction. She felt her father shift on his feet, likely in discomfort- or guilt. Probably both. It had been a few years since she'd run away and hid in the caves where the badgermoles lived, but it was pretty clear her parents were still feeling the effects. Mostly it was just in the form of making sure there was a guard around the place twenty four seven, so she couldn't slip out again- it didn't do any good, but she wasn't about to tell them that- but sometimes it came out in different forms.

Like occasionally acknowledging that she was actually _lonely _every now and again. It wasn't the first time she'd complained about it- it was part of why she'd run away in the first place, all those years ago. It was just that usually, her parents desire to protect her won out over any guilt they felt over keeping her so isolated.

But something told her that was about to change.

"Well," her father slowly began, "-I suppose perhaps we can come to _some _sort of arrangement."

To the side, Li shifted uncomfortably on his feet, as if he'd just realized for the first time exactly what he'd gotten himself into.

* * *

He had no idea what he'd gotten himself into.

The sun was already dipping low over the horizon by the time he found himself back in the small room he'd been given last night. His swords sat sheathed in his lap, handed back to him what felt like a near lifetime ago- even though he knew it had only been a few hours since then.

They'd _hired _him.

Taking in a deep breath, Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to figure out exactly what had happened. He got up to the part where he'd been caught trying to steal fruit and had been dragged in front of the manor's lord- a man he now knew was named Lao Beifong, of the prestigious Beifong family.

And that was where things stopped making sense.

Because he'd broken into their house, and not only had they not had him arrested- they'd _hired _him.

To watch their blind daughter, no less.

_Bodyguard _had been the official term they'd used, but he got the feeling _babysitter _would be more accurate. Who even hired a thirteen year old refugee to guard their daughter?

At least, that was the story he'd given them when asked. He was a refugee, fleeing the war alone. It technically wasn't a lie- it wasn't like he could go back to the Fire Nation, and it was true that he had nowhere to go. He didn't exactly blend in- or at least, he thought he didn't. He was so sure that the nobleman- _Lao_, he should really try and remember his name seeing as he apparently _worked for him_ now- had realized he was Fire Nation, but that didn't seem to be the case.

Although, if he was going to be honest, the whole day had gone by in kind of a surreal blur, so maybe he _had _noticed and he'd just missed it. It was all he could do to just keep up with the absurdity of it all.

He vaguely remembered being introduced to Toph's mother, Poppy- who'd taken one look at his scarred, disfigured face, and had decided it was a sign. She hadn't even needed to say what kind- he could tell, just from the pity in her eyes. That she thought the only person who could possibly feel at ease looking at him was someone who couldn't even _see_.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that, either.

Even then, he couldn't deny just how bad his own burn was. Maybe she was right.

Dropping his hand from his face, he slowly breathed out. He didn't have to stay. They had given him his swords back, and they were the only thing that had been keeping him here in the first place. It would be better for everyone involved, himself included, if he just moved on.

He didn't want to bring any trouble to their doorstep.

But even though things had worked out for him in the end- for once in his life- the reality was that last night had been a very close call. If he'd made one wrong move, or the Beifongs were less merciful, he could have been hauled off to the guard, or worse. And if the guard recognized him as being Fire Nation... well, somehow he didn't think only being a child would have provided him with much protection.

(And why should it? It wasn't like his people had any mercy on _their _children. It would be justified.)

And then there was the girl. _Toph_.

He knew... he knew what it was like to feel lonely. Isolated. Even if their circumstances were different, he couldn't help but see something of himself in her. It was obvious that she was desperate for someone to talk to, so desperate that she was willing to have that someone be _him_. Heritage aside, if he was going to be honest, he wasn't exactly the most social person around. That much _had _to be obvious from their interactions.

And yet she almost seemed to _like _him.

He huffed, almost in amusement. _That _wouldn't last long. Maybe the best option was for him to stay until she got sick of him, and sent him away. At least then, he'd leave with some actual money to his name- not to mention a full stomach, something he was starting to fully appreciate the value of. It wasn't like anyone was actually _looking _for him.

If Uncle were here, he was sure he'd provide a suitable proverb for the situation. Something about not letting a rare opportunity slip away.

But he wasn't, and Zuko couldn't think of a fitting one himself. All he could think of was the time Azula had taunted him, all smiles as she claimed that their father was going to kill him, and that maybe he should go find a 'nice Earth Kingdom family to adopt him'. He thought she'd been lying then.

Now he wasn't so sure.

Shoving that thought aside, he drew in a deep breath, making up his mind. Gaoling was far enough out of the way that it shouldn't be an issue if he stuck around for a month or two, especially if he never actually left the manor. Maybe he could use the time here to plan his next move. He would need to pick somewhere far from the war- if there even were any places like that left.

Somehow he doubted it.

He narrowed his eyes at the thought, guilt twisting his stomach. Not for the first time, he wondered if this was the real reason his Uncle had halted his siege on Ba Sing Se- not because cousin Lu Ten had died, but because he'd realized the truth, just as he had.

The war had never been about spreading progress. It was about spreading _ruin_. It always had been.

(The air nomads probably never even had an army.)

Letting out a long breath, he felt the last ray of sunlight retreat beyond the horizon. His inner fire flickered in response, waning, but not going out.

Not yet, at least.

He might be a firebender who couldn't bend, afraid of his own element. He might be the enemy living in a land of people who hated his kind- and for good reason. His burn might still sting every now and then, still raw and healing, disfiguring and disabling him in the same breath, but he was still here. Still alive.

After everything that had been done to him, he was still alive. And he'd _stay _alive.

His father wanted him dead. That was the truth. But he was going to have to do a little better than mutilating his face and dropping him off in enemy territory alone if he wanted that to actually happen. The knife his uncle had sent him from Ba Sing Se read _never give up without a fight_\- and that was exactly what he intended to do.

He'd fight. He'd survive. And if that meant taking advantage of misplaced, unwanted pity, then maybe it was time to swallow his pride and accept it.

Setting aside his swords, Zuko lay back against the thin mattress, staring up at the ceiling. Tomorrow he'd officially start his new (and still _utterly bizarre)_ job, but until then... he'd try and get some much deserved rest.

Recalling Toph's fierce, tooth baring grin, he got the feeling he'd need it.


	2. earth

Or, the chapter in which Zuko makes some first (and second) impressions. We head right into Zuko's first official day at the Beifong manor! Next chapter should be from Zuko's POV, and then I have one planned that will catch us up on what's going on with Iroh and Azula, so look forward to both of those!

* * *

**kintsugi**

**earth**

* * *

"So," Toph began, "-_Li_."

"What?" Li asked, his tone curt and his posture just as guarded. He kept some distance away from her, his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall on the other side of the room. She couldn't tell with her earth sense just how tightly crossed said arms were, but she was pretty sure the answer was _fairly_. He was acting so wary that she was almost tempted to see what would happen if she shook the earth under him. You know, just a bit. Enough to keep him on his toes.

But she _was _still trying to be friendly, so she'd restrain herself.

For now.

"Tell me about yourself."

"That's... pretty vague." Li said, after remaining silent for long enough that she knew he'd been thinking his response over. "And I don't exactly owe you my whole life history."

"That's fair." Toph shrugged. She didn't exactly expect someone who lied about his own name to open up to her at the drop of a hat just because she'd found him a job.

Technically, he was still on a probationary period, according to her father. That was probably why they hadn't been left alone together, not yet. The guard lingering by the door was trying to be as unobtrusive as possible, but the sheer amount of _awkward _radiating from Li made that pretty difficult, especially as the silence between them stretched on.

After a few more awkward minutes of it, Li apparently gave up on sulking and sat down- closer to her, but still far away enough that they weren't in each others bubbles. She had her knees pulled up to her chest- an improper way for a young lady to sit, but it allowed her to keep her feet flat on the floor, giving her a better feel for her surroundings. Li, on the other hand, crossed his legs in front of him, but she didn't doubt he could get up quickly if the situation called for it. She'd been keeping tabs on the way he moved, and she had to admit- he seemed pretty agile.

She'd also never met someone with such quiet footsteps before. It made her wonder how they'd even caught him sneaking in to begin with.

She wondered who'd taught him to be so _quiet_.

"So," Li slowly began, and she could sense him shifting slightly, "-it's... Toph, right?"

"Aw, you remembered my name." Toph grinned. "I'm flattered, Scruffy."

Li's hand darted up towards his hair again, and even though she didn't actually know what a frown looked like, she could imagine that was exactly the expression he was making. Clearly he was self-conscious about his hair.

Not a problem she could relate to, seeing as she had no idea what her own hair even looked like. She knew what it _felt _like, silky smooth from the oils that her mother insisted the servants use whenever they washed it. She didn't _hate _the feeling, but there was still something comforting about the feeling of dirt clinging to not just her hair, but to the rest of her. Maybe it was just an earthbender thing.

_Speaking _of bending...

"So," Toph asked, settling on something less vague, "-are you a bender?"

"No," he said, way too quickly to be anything but a lie, "-I'm not."

Toph tilted her head, her lips tugging downwards in a slight frown. Not only did it _sound _like a lie, it _felt _like one too. And yet... there was something _off _in the way he'd reacted. Something she couldn't quite place. Nevermind the fact that she didn't see any reason why someone would keep their bending a secret- unless they were an airbender, maybe, but she didn't think there were any of those left, and Scruffy felt too _grounded _for that, in spite of his too quiet footsteps.

Then again, he could also be a firebender.

Which... yeah, she guessed she could see why he might lie about that too. Her parents might try to keep her oblivious to the world outside the walls of their home, but that didn't actually mean she _was _oblivious. She knew there was a war going on, and that there had been one going on for the past one hundred years. She'd heard about the Fire Nation colonies, and the headway that they'd been making into the Earth Kingdom.

Even her parents, try as they might, couldn't hide the events of the Dragon of the West's six hundred day siege on Ba Sing Se from her. She'd be willing to bet that even the most remote villages in the Earth Kingdom had heard about _that _particular battle, even if no one in Ba Sing Se itself was actually willing to talk about it anymore.

(Honestly, some part of her almost wished he _had _conquered it. At least that way she'd never have to go to that terrible excuse for a city. Way too many rules.)

"What about you?" Li asked.

Toph blinked. She honestly hadn't expected him to ask her a real question. Guess he was making an effort after all.

"Sure am." Toph said. "I'm an earthbender."

The greatest in the world, she wanted to say, but she managed to bite her tongue. Just because she kind of liked Li, it didn't mean she was about to reveal all her secrets to him- especially not when he wasn't doing the same. And besides, she'd have to be a total idiot to say something like that within earshot of one of her parents' guards. Sure, Huan wasn't as insufferable as some of the others around here, but he still treated her like the delicate little blind girl everyone around here thought she was.

She hoped Li wouldn't start treating her like that eventually. She didn't know if she could stand that.

Li hummed in response. "I take it your parents-"

"-aren't?" Toph finished for him. "No. My grandmother was though, on my father's side. That's where I get it from, I think."

"Oh," Li said, "-that must be nice."

Toph couldn't help but snort, even if it wasn't exactly all that ladylike. "You really _do _have a way with words, Scruffy. Let me guess- you haven't had many friends."

She could feel Li bristle at her remark. "I have friends, I just-!"

He cut himself off, his shoulders slumping slightly. It was kind of alarming, really, how quickly the fight had gone out of him. "I just can't see them ever again. And they were more of my sister's friends anyways."

That last part had been muttered quietly underneath his breath, like he hadn't wanted her to hear it. Well, too bad, because her hearing was just as top notch as her earthbending. He would have to talk a lot quieter if he wanted her not to hear something.

"You have a sister?" Toph asked.

Yup. Judging from the way he tensed, Li definitely hadn't meant for her to hear that part.

"Yeah." Li said. "A younger sister. We didn't exactly get along."

There was a whole history spelled out in that simple statement, one that left her almost vaguely grateful she had no siblings of her own. Her parents could be insufferable enough- she couldn't imagine having another sibling around who would just treat her the same way. Maybe being an only child was lonely, but it was definitely preferable to _that_.

Or whatever the hell it was that had gone on between Li and his sister to leave such a raw ache to his voice. Probably better not to ask. Earthbending was all about listening and waiting, and right now, her listening skills were telling her to _wait_.

"Eh," Toph shrugged, "-that's how it is sometimes with family. Just cause you're related to them, doesn't mean things will always work out."

"Yeah," Li agreed, "-I guess it is."

And there was more of that awkward silence again. Gee, she knew what she'd said and all, but just how _bad _at making conversation was Li?

Okay, to be fair, she wasn't exactly an expert either- but she was pretty sure she was better at it than he was. But eh, they _had _just met. Maybe they'd get the hang of it yet. She'd never been one to back down from a challenge before, and something told her that Li wasn't the type to either.

"So, you ever see a badgermole before?" Toph asked.

Li shifted a little, as if he were looking up at her in surprise. "No. I've heard of them though. You have?"

"Oh, sure." Toph didn't even resist the urge to smirk. "I've _seen _them before."

Li audibly winced. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Relax, I'm only teasing." Toph said. "You're so on edge."

"Sorry," Li apologized, making a transparent, if not effective, effort to relax, "-it's just been a rough few months."

That, she sensed, was the truth. If anything, it was probably an understatement. He might have told her parents that he was a simple refugee, but based on his heart rate when he'd said it, there was more to that story than just an orphan desperately trying to flee the war. Besides, from the way he talked about her, his little sister sounded like she was still alive- and not necessarily in any danger.

He was fleeing _something_, alright. She just didn't think it was the war.

But that was fine with her. Li was the first chance she had at actually making a friend since... well, forever, basically. And it was obvious he needed the work. She wasn't about to blow this for him- or for _her_, for that matter.

Which didn't mean she'd stop trying to unravel his secrets. It just meant that she wouldn't ask about them in the close presence of the guard. Especially if he really _did _turn out to be a secret firebender or something.

_Speaking _of the guard...

Those especially heavy footsteps heading this way could only belong to Yang. Curiously, she noted that Li seemed to turn his head towards the sound almost exactly at the same time she did- too close to being in sync for him to have just caught the motion of her head.

Yang was approaching from her left- Li's right. If it was _his _left, he might not have noticed. She'd been closely observing Li ever since they first met- one of the first things she'd picked up on was that he had good ears. Or _ear_, rather. It hadn't been until he'd been brought before both her parents to sort out his future here at the Beifong manor that she'd picked up on it. It was subtle, but whenever her mother began to speak, he would turn his head slightly so that he was facing her more directly.

Her mother had sat on the right. Li's left.

Something, she concluded, was clearly wrong with this left ear. Maybe _that _had been the source of her father's weird hesitation to label Li as being able-bodied.

Honestly, knowing that kind of just made him feel like _more _of a kindred spirit. People probably underestimated him too.

But ugh, back to _Yang_. She crinkled her nose slightly in distaste. If Huan was the most tolerable of the guards, then Yang was the _worst_. He was rude to the servants, and yet treated her like she was the most delicate blossom ever to bloom. Even worse was the fact that though his earthbending was so mediocre and boring that she was almost ashamed to share an element with him, he still thought he was good at it. In reality, Huan picked up most of the slack- Yang was just around to look big and beefy.

Presumably.

"Is the kid here?" Yang asked Huan, without any preamble. "Boss brought over someone to test his sword skills."

Toph frowned slightly at that. Her father had mentioned something like that, but she hadn't been sure if he was serious or not. He was kind of prone to saying things and then never following through on them, which wasn't exactly the same thing as lying.

Though from the feel of his heartbeat, Li _had _believed it. _Expected _it, even. There was a kind of fluid grace in the way he rose to his feet, but unlike the kind of courtly nobles she tended to associate that sort of thing with, there were no extraneous movements.

She didn't know if anyone else noticed it, though. In some ways, it was made all the more obvious to her, who only saw through the earth's vibrations. It made certain things easier to pick up on.

Like Li's quiet footsteps, or the way he always held himself like he was ready for a fight.

"I'm ready."

Oh, there was no way she was going to miss _this_.

Rising to her feet, she moved to trail after Li, only to find a hand thrust in her face. She arched a brow, tempted to just walk straight into it to show how ineffective that would have been had she truly been as unseeing as everyone around here thought she was, but she chose not to. It wasn't like he'd learn, anyways. She just deepened her frown instead, straightened her back, and forced herself to look up into the general vicinity of Yang's face.

(_She _didn't see the point of looking at people's faces when they talked. It wasn't like she could make exact eye contact anyways. Her earth sense was good, but it wasn't _that _good.)

"Your father has instructed me to stay here with you, Miss Beifong." Yang said. "Huan will guide the boy to the inner courtyard."

Toph's frown deepened. She didn't even need to ask the reason why- her father probably thought that something as violent as a swordfight wasn't fit for her delicate sensibilities. Which was ridiculous, because her father was under the impression that she couldn't see _at all_. What was there to protect her from? Scary noises?

Metal clanging against metal. Yeah. _Real _terrifying.

"Sorry," she heard Li apologize, before Huan lead him down the hall. It actually sounded sincere, she thought.

Huh. She knew there was a reason she liked the guy.

* * *

The summons had been sudden, but there wasn't a single man in Gaoling who would be foolish enough to ignore summons from Lao Beifong. He was the most well known figure in the city- and it certainly didn't hurt that he was also the _richest_. While he'd needed to readjust his schedule considerably to fit the nobleman in, he didn't doubt that he would be well compensated for his troubles.

That said, he did have to wonder what it was that he needed a swordsmaster _for_.

The _best _swordsmaster in the city, nonetheless. He couldn't help but preen at the way Lao's missive had addressed him. He certainly was that. Whatever request Lao Beifong wanted him to fulfill, he was certain he could do that and more.

He didn't have to wait long for the nobleman to appear. He greeted him in the inner courtyard of his manor, pausing to whisper something to one of his guards before he turned to address him. The guard hurried off elsewhere in the estate, but he paid him little mind. Perhaps he'd simply gone to fetch something.

"Master Han. It is good to see that you could come on such short notice."

"It is no trouble at all, my lord." He bowed, giving the nobleman all the courtesy he deserved. "I am always ready to be of service to the Beifong family."

"I am glad to hear that." Lao said. "We have need of your expertise."

"Of course." Han said, straightening slightly. "What is it that you wish of me?"

"We have... acquired a new guard, of a sorts." Lao said, a slight frown tugging on his lips. "I am certain you know the plight of our dear daughter."

He did. Few knew of the Beifongs' only child, but he had met her on the handful of rare occasions that she was allowed to greet guests, when her parents deigned themselves rub elbows with those in Gaoling they thought important. She was blind, a fragile little thing that was hardly equipped to navigate the dangers of the world, which was why her parents kept her here, in the manor, where she could be safe.

It was, in his view, a wise decision.

"We keep her here to keep her safe, but recently she has begun to grow... _lonely_." Lao said, his frown deepening. "After much contemplation, we came upon the idea of hiring a young man to guard her personally, someone a bit closer to her own age that she could talk to. Our guards are more than competent, of course, but they are all..."

The nobleman trailed off, and Han took it as a sign that it was safe to speak. "You need not say more. I have daughter just a few years older than your Toph."

Old men were hardly what one would consider companionable to a young girl. His daughter barely even wanted to talk to _him_ most days, he couldn't imagine her wishing to converse with another man of his age.

"While the idea has merit, our current hire is... _troublesome_." Lao admitted. "I would like to test how well he knows his blades, before I fully commit to him."

There was much more to the story than he was presented, but he decided it wise not to ask. Instead, Han merely bowed his head a second time. "Of course. I would be more than happy to test this young man of yours."

"Excellent." Lao said. "I just sent a guard to fetch him. It should not be long now."

He didn't have to wait very long at all, as it turned out. The young man in question- little more than a boy, really- was... not quite what he expected, even with Lao's mention of him being _troublesome_. He wasn't certain what it was that attracted his attention first- the threadbare outer robes he wore, hardly befitting of his current environment, or the horrible burn scar that alighted most of the left half of his face.

(How well did he even see out of that eye? It seemed little more than a slit, set as if in a permanent glare.)

He glanced back towards Lao, almost expecting this to be some kind of nobleman's joke, but the man's face was completely serious. This _was _the new hire in question.

Lao caught his gaze, and merely shook his head, looking at a bit of a loss himself. "My daughter seems to like him. My wife is... sympathetic."

Ah. Han turned back towards the scrap of a boy, only to find that he was being watched. The boy didn't flinch or look away- if anything, his gaze only seemed to intensify, as if he were sizing him up. Unconsciously, he felt himself stand a little straighter, wondering exactly where the lady of the manor had dug this boy out of. He could only assume that she was the one who had brought him back to the manor- he couldn't imagine a businessman as shrewd and clever as Lao picking him up.

His eyes, Han realized, were an uncomfortable shade of gold.

"Li," Lao began, "-this is Master Han. I brought him here to test your abilities with the sword."

The boy- _Li_\- spared Lao only the faintest glance, before performing a court perfect bow. He wasn't sure what the action was more in contrast with- his weathered clothing or his unruly mop of short hair.

"I thank you for this opportunity." He said, his voice surprisingly rough for a boy his age. "I only hope that I can live up to whatever expectations you might have for me."

Han cleared his throat, not returning the bow back. So the boy knew some manners. That didn't mean he had to treat him as if he had any actual station. He was clearly a refugee, no matter how one looked at him- perhaps one from the colonies, if those eyes were any indication.

(There were rumors that Fire Nation soldiers would sometimes... but no, he would not think about that. Better to think that the child was wanted, at least at some point.)

"Very good." Han said, taking a step back, his gaze darting towards the sheath hung over the boy's back. "Let us begin by seeing your sword of choice."

Li lifted his head, blinking slightly at his statement. Then without another word, he nodded, stepping down into the inner courtyard proper. He reached for the sword strapped to his back- and it was only then that Han realized that it wasn't merely one sword, but a _pair_\- dual dao, no less.

That was... very _unusual_, especially for a refugee.

Even more unusual was the _quality _of the blades in question. They were finely crafted, not something one would typically find in the hands of a commoner, much less a refugee. He'd either stolen them- or had once been of noble blood himself. With a slight frown, Han forced himself to look past the horrible burn that marred the left half of the boy's face to focus on the right. Upon closer examination, he certainly did _seem _to have features that one might consider noble.

He very quickly decided that it was in his best interest not to pry.

"The dual dao," Han observed, doing his best to cover up his lapse of silence, "-not a common sight. Have you had any training with them?"

"Some." Li replied. "I had a master to teach me, before..."

He trailed off, and didn't finish. Han thought it better not to ask, but for entirely different reasons than before. There was a good reason he stayed far away from the savagery of war. Some would call him a coward. But his daughter had no mother, and a swordsman was of little use against _firebenders_. The would-be child swordsman's face was proof enough of that.

"I see." Han said simply, drawing his own sword. "In that case, allow me to test your previous master's training."

Li said nothing in reply, just readied his stance. Lao wisely stepped well out of the way, leaving the inner courtyard to the pair of them.

It was not a long match by any means, but nevertheless, an enlightening one. Han was able to draw a few conclusions- namely that with practice, Li would likely be able to make up for any deficiencies he had with his left hand side- and there clearly were more than few. But also that whoever had trained the boy, they were clearly a far superior swordsman than he.

And lastly, that the boy was _intense_.

Even with their short battle over, he still watched him with a wary eye. He wasn't out of breath, nevermind winded- something told Han that he could have kept going for however long he needed to in order to win the match, even though it had never been about such things. He briefly wondered if the boy even knew the meaning of the phrase _give up_, before quickly concluding that he likely didn't.

Someone had got past his guard once, had branded him. He clearly wasn't going to allow that to happen again.

"Well," Han said, sheathing his sword and turning slightly to face Lao, "-in my expert opinion, I believe he will shape up to be a fine swordsman."

Lao's expression was perfectly neutral, but he could have sworn it felt as if he were frowning. Briefly, he wondered if he'd given him the wrong answer- but though he was certainly interested in making a profit here, it wasn't to the extent that he would do his job incorrectly. The nobleman had asked for an honest evaluation of the skills of his new hire- and that was exactly what he had given him.

If anything, he should be _thrilled _to have found such a remarkable diamond in the rough. In a few years time, Toph Beifong would be the safest noble in the city. A father couldn't ask for more.

"Thank you, Master Han, for your time." Lao said, turning sharply on his heel. "If you will come with me, we can discuss the matter of your payment."

Han bowed in response, moving to follow- but not before he spared a glance back towards Li. The boy had since returned his swords to their sheath, but his eyes had never left him.

He looked, Han thought, relieved.

* * *

Watching the match, Huan quickly decided that if _this _was what the kid could do with a full stomach and a good night's rest, then the lack of both those things had to be the _only _reason they'd been able to catch him in the first place. He might not be a swordsman, but he didn't need to be to realize that no ordinary thirteen year old boy should be able to hold his own against a master swordsman.

Which was _exactly _what Li had done.

He was impressed. _More _than impressed, actually. He'd had his doubts- the kid didn't exactly look like much- but clearly, he'd been proven wrong.

Now, if only he could work on his social skills. Because he'd had to listen to his conversation with the young lady of the manor, and he had to admit- it had been painful. The awkward silences had been bad enough, but his attempts at conversation had proven... _interesting_, to say the least.

Ah well. Nobody could be a master of _everything_. Maybe he just needed a few pointers.

* * *

Lao Beifong watched the master swordsman depart with a poorly hidden expression of displeasure.

He was not necessarily _against _his daughter's idea of having a companion close to her own age- one that could protect her, no less. It seemed a fine solution, in fact. He just wasn't sure why she had gotten so attached to the half-starved refugee that had tried stealing from them. Surely there had to be other, better candidates out there, he reasoned. It didn't need to be _this _one. If his wife hadn't been so for it, clearly taking pity on the disfigured child, he never would have agreed to this.

Still, he was nothing if not a man of his word. He'd agreed to this, and he knew Toph would never forgive him if he tried to chase the boy away. He would just have to wait for her to get tired of him on her own, and then he could pick someone better. Someone more suitable for not just his daughter, but their family as a whole.

Perhaps Master Yu knew of a few skilled young earthbenders from more... _reputable _families. One such boy would do nicely, he thought, and there certainly would be benefits to such an arrangement beyond merely keeping his daughter safe and happy. It was never too early to look for marriage prospects, in his opinion.

When he returned to the inner courtyard, he was surprised to find that the boy- _Li_\- was still there. He looked up as he entered, and Lao forced himself not to flinch at the sight of the boy's face. The boy's burn was difficult to look at, made all the more worse by just how much of his face it took up. It left his features asymmetrical, his left eye reduced to a tiny slit that he hadn't even been certain he could see out of until his match with Master Han had proven otherwise.

Even then, he still wasn't fully convinced.

Yet another reason he needed to find someone better to guard his daughter. How was a half-blind boy supposed to guard a blind girl? He needed someone he could feel safe leaving Toph with, not someone she could _relate _to.

(He certainly wouldn't want him to give her any _ideas_.)

Still, he was not a heartless man. It was all too clear the boy had no place to go. Even if he didn't prove to be a good fit here, he would be sure to at least find him somewhere else he could work- an apprenticeship, perhaps, one that came with room and board. Thirteen was still a child, and even a commoner's child shouldn't be allowed to fend for themselves at such a tender age.

Sadly, with the war, such things were becoming far too common.

"You are still here?" Lao asked.

"You didn't tell me to leave." Li said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I suppose I did not." Lao admitted, before letting his gaze flick downwards, to the tattered outer robe the boy wore. The rest of his clothes didn't appear to be in much better condition, the sleeves of his shirt frayed and his boots badly scuffed. He looked every inch the refugee he said he was.

He would need, he decided, some new clothes if he were to stay here- at least for the time being. He would speak to Poppy about it- he was certain she could arrange something with one of her seamstress friends. Surely one of them could make something more suitable than the near rags he currently had. They didn't even seem to _fit _him well, hanging too loosely in places and too tight in others. He already suspected that the boy's swords were likely stolen, but perhaps his clothes had been as well.

If nothing else, he supposed the boy had managed to clean up fairly well. His hair was still a disordered, scraggly mess, but perhaps it would even out with time- assuming he hadn't worn out his welcome by then. Still, even if he did end up staying longer than he would have liked, at least he wouldn't have to worry about him looking _too _disreputable.

Save for his burn, he supposed, but there was hardly anything to be done about that. At the very least, Toph would never have to see it. It was too savage a sight for someone so fragile as his daughter. He could barely stomach it himself.

"Huan will take you back to my daughter." Lao said, gesturing towards the guard. "I trust you can keep her entertained until this afternoon, and then keep an eye on her while her tutors give her lessons. We can create a more formal routine in the coming days."

Li simply bowed in response, before wordlessly following Huan away. He didn't seem to be much of one for words.

He watched until the refugee was out of sight, before turning on his heel and heading towards the tea room, where he knew he would find his wife at this hour. He wanted to ask about that seamstress right away. Perhaps once the boy was properly dressed, he would become more amenable to his continued presence here.

Perhaps.

* * *

When Li and Huan returned, Toph was seated properly this time.

Huan might overlook unladylike behavior- to him she was a child first, and a lady second- but Yang chided her for it almost worse than her mother did. It took all of her self control to not just sink him into the earth and be done with it sometimes.

One day, though. One day she would be an adult, free of her parents, and then? Then she would get her sweet, _sweet _revenge.

"So," Toph began once she sensed Li crossing the threshold, skipping any preamble, "-how did it go with the swords?"

"Okay," Li replied, then with more hesitation, added, "-I guess?"

"You _guess_?" Huan almost seemed to snort. "Looked to me like you really impressed Master Han. Not bad, kid."

In spite of being forced to sit properly, Toph had kept one hand touching the floor. The impressions it gave her weren't as good as what she could get with both her feet, but it worked well enough for her to 'see' Huan clapping Li on the back, though his flinch in response was harder to make out. She might have just dismissed it as stumbling, if it weren't for the fact that his feet didn't move an inch.

Neither Huan or Yang noticed. Li didn't say anything.

(The seeing could be so _blind_, sometimes.)

"Thanks." Li said quickly- too quickly, as he hastily moved to put some distance between himself and Huan. Like he didn't want him to touch him again.

Maybe he didn't like being touched. He hadn't flinched when she'd grabbed his wrist yesterday, but maybe he'd been too stunned to react. She'd try to remember that.

"So," Toph began, sensing his need for an out, "-will you tell me about it?"

Li seemed to hesitate for just a moment, before he sat down across from her. He still kept a distance away, but he was slightly closer than the last time. "What do you want to know?"

Toph just grinned. It wasn't ladylike or proper. "Give me the play by play."

She didn't need to be able to see to picture Yang's sputter.

* * *

In his opinion, the Li kid was shifty.

It was those eyes he didn't trust, more than anything. He'd never seen gold eyes before, not on any good Earth Kingdom folk, at least. If he wasn't spirit-touched, then that could only mean one thing.

The kid was Fire Nation.

The kid was Fire Nation, and Yang didn't trust him in the least. For all he knew, this was part of some grand plan on the part of their army. Sure, the kid was young, but he wouldn't put it past them to train child soldiers. Huan might be impressed with his skills with the sword, but he knew better. No thirteen year old kid had any right to be skilled enough with dual dao of all things to impress a man with the kind of reputation Master Han had around these parts.

No _normal _thirteen year old boy.

He wasn't sure what kind of trick he'd pulled on the little lady, but whatever it was, it wasn't going to fool him. He'd be keeping a close eye on him- one slip, and he'd show the kid that it took more than some fancy swordplay to be a _real _fighter. He'd caught his ass before, and he'd catch it again, no problem.

"Don't glare at him like that, Yang." Huan said in a hushed whisper. "You'll scare him off."

Yang just huffed. "Good."

That was the idea. He didn't know what gods those Fire Nation scum worshiped, but whatever gods they were, he'd put the fear of them into this kid.

The kid, however, merely lifted his head, pausing mid-conversation to look at him. Probably heard him. He turned his head so that he was facing him head on, and glared right back.

It was the scar. That was the only reason he looked away first. That damn scar. That was probably some kind of trick too, he concluded. Put there to invoke pity. Had done a damn number on the mistress of the manor.

The kid looked away, and he swore that he had the audacity to look _smug_. Like he'd won something. He grit his teeth, not wanting to say anything out of line in front of the little lady.

Damn kid. He bet his name wasn't even Li.

* * *

Poppy Beifong paused to smile at the young man- little more than a boy, really- waiting just outside the manor's lesson hall. He caught her gaze, and it took everything she had to not look away. It must have shown in her eyes, because not a second later, it was Li who tore his gaze away, attempting to appear as if it was merely disinterest that had him staring at the floor, and not the realization that she found his face difficult to look at.

It wasn't his fault, not really. She simply wasn't used to seeing such awful scars. And on such a young child too! It was such a shame- the unmarred half of the boy's face had such fine features, that he might have even been handsome when he came of age.

Now? Now she was certain there was a reason the Spirits had decided to put this child in their path. In her daughter's sightless eyes, no one could be ugly.

(And he wasn't ugly! Just... unpleasant to look at, from a certain angle.)

"Are you here to see," he began, before stopping, the words seemingly fleeing his mouth before he found them again, "-your daughter?"

She realized, in that instant, that he wasn't certain as to how he should refer to Toph. It was a fair question. They'd hired him to keep her company as much as they had to guard her. It would be a bit odd for him to refer to her in a completely formal manner, but at the same time, it would hardly do to have a commoner so casually refer to a member of the nobility by name. Clearly, they would have to work something out.

But that was a topic for another day. Let him get used to being here first, and then they could work on the other matters.

"Yes," Poppy agreed, "-I take it you two have been getting along well."

"Fine." Li said.

She expected him to elaborate, but he instead remained silent. Poppy tried not to frown, recalling the way he'd been all but silent unless spoken to when her husband had questioned him the previous day. Perhaps he simply wasn't accustomed to dealing with people of their station. It was understandable. Newly hired servants were often the same way. She supposed in Li's case, an orphaned refugee who had been forced to steal in order to survive, that would only be more pronounced.

He'd probably expected to be thrown in jail- if not worse.

She scoffed at the idea. They weren't savage brutes, like those in the Fire Nation were. They knew the difference between a desperate, starving child and a hardened criminal. They weren't the sort of people who would brand the face of a child, for where could a burn like that could have come from, if not from a firebender? Though she didn't like to think of the war, she was hardly ignorant of it.

She couldn't think of a single thing a child could have done to possibly deserve a scar like that.

"I have called for a seamstress." Poppy said, pushing such awful thoughts out of her mind. She truly didn't like thinking about the war, after all. "She will be here first thing tomorrow morning, so that she can measure you for new clothing."

Li stiffened, surprised enough by her statement to chance looking up again. She didn't recoil this time either. "You don't have to-"

"Think nothing of it." Poppy said, giving the boy a soft smile. "It is the least we can do."

She knew her husband had asked her to call the seamstress because she thought the state of Li's clothing was distasteful, and though she agreed, she was hardly about to say that to the boy's face. Those clothes were likely all he had. She was not about to mock him for it. The war had taken so much from many, and if they had the resources to give back, she did not see any reason why they should not do so.

Li swallowed, looking as if he was about to say something, but then thought better of it. Instead he gave her a curt bow and left it at that.

She didn't press. He likely wasn't used to such kindness, the poor thing. She was certain he would get used to everything given time. She merely gave him the faintest incline of her head in acknowledgment, before entering the lesson hall to check on Toph's progress. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Li once more take up position just outside the door. Dutifully, one might say.

Yes, she thought to herself, -this new arrangement was going to work out splendidly.

* * *

_Finally_.

For a sheltered girl whose parents had no real intention of letting her out into the world, she sure had to put up with an almost inane amount of lessons. She guessed they were just prepping her for when they inevitably married her off- which, _gross_\- but that didn't make it any less annoying. She didn't even see when she was going to use this stuff, seeing as she had no interest at all in being married off to the highest bidder.

But then, her parents didn't know that.

So until then, she guessed she just sort of had to put up with the endless etiquette lessons. At least they weren't as bad as her earthbending lessons with that half-baked excuse for a master her parents had hired. As if she even needed him. She could beat his pansy butt up in her sleep, with her hands tied behind her back.

Hell, she was willing to bet even _Scruffy _could probably beat him, if he was half as good with those swords as he made it sound like he was. And as far as she had been able to tell, he hadn't been lying.

He was, however, a _lousy _storyteller.

He was also still waiting for her when she finally hauled herself to her feet, well after both her tutor and her mother had left. It was just him for the moment- she didn't doubt Yang would eventually manifest again, not yet willing to trust their new addition, but for the moment, it was just the two of them.

Carefully, she moved as quietly as possible towards the door. She knew Li would be waiting for her to come out- but that didn't mean she couldn't still take him by surprise. Her feet being bare meant her steps were practically noiseless, especially once she picked up her skirts, preventing them from trailing after her. She remembered how Li had been able to pick up on her presence outside the door to his room, and she couldn't help but indulge in her curiosity as to exactly how good his senses actually were.

She grinned to herself. Already, just having Li around was vastly improving her overall mood. It was a good thing too, since she was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to sneak out tonight- or even tomorrow, if she knew her father. The less steam she had to blow off, the better.

She didn't even make it halfway to the door before Li shifted. "No more lessons?"

Toph fought the urge to huff. She was used to getting the drop on people, not the other way around. Dropping her skirts, she just gave him a wide grin.

"Yep." Toph said. "No more listening to some old crone drone on about obscure court customs for the day."

She could have sworn Li _laughed_. It was a faint, tiny sound, and Toph instantly decided that she loved it, but that it could also definitely stand to be louder.

Unfortunately, she didn't have long to dwell on it. Yang must have noticed that her tutor had left, because he'd decided to grace her with his presence again. She privately huffed, wondering how long she'd have to wait to actually have the chance to be truly left alone with Li. Knowing her father, it would be way longer than she might like.

Knowing him, he probably also thought she'd get sick of Li in a few weeks. Which just went to show how well he actually knew her- because if he honestly thought she was going to get sick of someone this interesting, then he seriously had another thing coming.

Oh no, she thought. Li was going to stick around for awhile. She'd make _sure _of it.


	3. fire

Wrapped up this chapter, and just in time! I leave tomorrow to visit family, though not for very long- just for three days. The chapter itself went in a different direction than I originally had planned? But I think I like the results better, in the end. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Next time I update, we'll be checking in to see how things are going in the Fire Nation, so look forward to that!

* * *

**kintsugi**

**fire**

* * *

Somehow, it takes him until breakfast of the second day for him to realize he's technically a servant now. It'd be depressing, if it weren't somehow hilarious.

The prince of the Fire Nation, serving an Earth Kingdom family. His father would hate it. Azula would think it was hilarious, and probably fitting. He'd never been that great at being a prince anyways- especially not a _Crown _Prince.

Sometimes he wasn't sure if he even wanted to be one anymore. Not when what his father would demand of him would be monstrous. The idea of sacrificing their own soldiers was bad enough, but...

"Li?"

Startled by the sound of his recently adopted alias, Zuko jerked his head up just in time to equally startle the servant girl hovering over him. Flinching, he ducked his head back down, staring at his now empty bowl.

"Sorry," he said, "-I didn't mean to startle you."

To his surprise, the servant girl only laughed. "I think that should be my line. Are you okay? I called you like, four times."

Zuko flinched again, grateful he was looking down this time. He was going to have to get used to people calling him Li, he thought with a stab of guilt. He didn't like having to lie about who he was, but if he was going to survive in the Earth Kingdom, he couldn't exactly go by his own name. It was too obviously Fire Nation, too obviously the name of the banished crown prince- even if he doubted a mere servant would have heard of him.

He grimaced a bit at the thought. He wasn't exactly in a position to call anyone a_ mere servant_ anymore, not when that was exactly what he was now.

He was right. Azula _would _laugh at him.

"Guess I just spaced out." Zuko apologized, gaze finally darting back up. "So uh, what did you want?"

"I came to ask if you were finished. I'm on dishwashing duty this morning." The servant girl replied. He tried to rack his brain for her name, but came up empty. He knew he'd been introduced to a number of the other servants living here just yesterday, but he'd never been all that great at remembering names to begin with. It was something that had gotten him in trouble with his father- though in hindsight, it seemed like _everything _he did had gotten him in trouble with his father somehow.

Maybe all this time, he was just looking for an excuse.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Zuko said. "Um, thanks."

The girl just smiled awkwardly at him, holding out her hands. Dimly, he realized she was here for the bowl, and hastily gave it to her. The servants at the Beifong manor all shared one communal kitchen, where they also shared meals. He still didn't feel comfortable about eating with them, so he'd made himself scarce as soon as he had gotten his food.

They also seemed to share internal chores around the servant's quarters, but from the sound of it, he wouldn't be put on the rotation for any of those until next week- provided he was still here by then. He tried not to grimace at the thought- it wasn't that he was opposed to carrying his own weight, it was more just... he'd never had to before. Sure, he'd taken care of himself for those four months in the wild, but that didn't exactly teach him much about doing dishes. Or laundry.

Or Agni forbid, _cooking_.

The girl took it. "I hope it was to your taste."

"It was." He lied. It hadn't exactly been _flavorless_, but its flavor came from earthen tasting herbs, rather than the spice he was used to- and was already starting to miss. But it had been food, and if there was anything the past four months had taught him, it was that he should never take a meal for granted.

The girl just smiled faintly at him, before she turned to leave. He tilted his head, realizing as he watched her walk that she had a slight limp, her right foot dragging slightly behind. His gaze flicked downwards towards it, but with her servant's robes on, he couldn't tell if it was from a burn or not.

But it didn't have to be. It wasn't just _burns _the his country's soldiers used to inflict pain on children. The servant girl didn't even look much older than he did, maybe eighteen or so. Just barely of age.

"Wait," he said, catching the girl's attention, "-um, what was your name again?"

The girl glanced back at him, a slight incline to her brows. "Xia Su."

"Xia Su." He repeated, attempting to commit it to memory this time, along with her face- deep brown eyes and even darker brown hair, her skin several shades lighter than either, but still dark. "I'm- uh, I'm Li."

"I know." Xia Su said, only the faintest twitch of her lips indicating amusement.

"Oh. Right." Zuko blinked. "You called me four times."

"Mm-hm." Xia Su merely nodded, before turning back, limping her way back towards the kitchen.

He felt a stab of guilt at making her walk this far out of her way, then swallowed it back. She wouldn't have this job if she couldn't handle it. He knew how much he loathed the pity he got when people looked at his scar, so the last thing he wanted to do was pity others right back.

_Sympathy_, maybe. Just not pity.

He wondered if his father was capable of either of those things. Lightly touching his scar, he decided he probably wasn't.

Dropping his hand from his face, Zuko rose to his feet. He didn't need to look up at the position of the sun to know that he had at least an hour and a half before he had to begin his actual job of shadowing Toph, but he did anyways. He was told that people who weren't firebenders couldn't look at it for long without it burning their eyes, but that had never been a problem for him.

Drawing in a deep breath, he turned on his heel. Yesterday's match had proven to him just how rusty his skills had gotten, and how badly effected they were by the loss of not only most of the vision in his left eye, but also his depth perception. Master Piandao would have scolded him for growing so lax.

If he was actually going to step up and fill the role of a guard, he needed to be better. _Much _better.

And that meant finding somewhere to practice.

* * *

Poppy Beifong kept her promise of getting a seamstress.

It wasn't anything Zuko wasn't used to. There had been plenty of seamstress back at the royal palace, and whole groups of servants dedicated solely to dressing the royal family. Doing it now shouldn't be a problem. And yet after just four months spent in the wilderness, he'd managed to forget how to do it.

He tried to convince himself that it was because this _wasn't _the palace. He wasn't a prince here, and these weren't his people. That was the reason why he was feeling so self-conscious as the seamstress looked him over, casting a critical eye on him that alluded to years of experience. She barely even so much as glanced at the ruined half of his face, but that provided him with little comfort.

Especially once the seamstress frowned, and said, "-remove your outer robe."

Zuko flinched. "Why do I need to-?"

"It obviously doesn't fit you right." The seamstress said. "I won't be able to get accurate measurements otherwise. Take it off."

Zuko opened his mouth to argue, before snapping it shut. He knew she had a point- it was stolen, after all. Of course it didn't fit him right. Taking in a deep breath, he carefully removed the outer robe, which was, for once, at least _clean_. He never wanted to go without access to laundry again.

If he thought that would satisfy her, he was wrong. "The shirt too."

"But-"

The seamstress just leveled a glare at him. Zuko grumbled, removing the ill-fitting undershirt. At least he got to keep his pants.

The woman crinkled her nose, her eyes narrowing sharply. "You're far too skinny."

He had to bite his tongue to keep himself from making a sharp remark. Of course he was- he'd spent the past four months existing on what basically boiled down to a starvation diet. It was inevitable that he was going to have lost some weight.

To make matters worse, they weren't alone- for whatever reason, Toph's mother had decided she should be here too. He could feel without looking where she was staring- right where his ribs were just starting to show.

And maybe that was it. Maybe that was why he was feeling so self-conscious right now. Because the part of him that still clung to some form of noble pride was humiliated to show just how badly his exile had already started to effect him. His scar was one thing- he couldn't exactly hide that. But he didn't see why other people had to know just how much he'd started to look the part of a starving refugee.

At least it would help sell the story, some small part of him thought.

"Well," the seamstress said, "-I suppose I can work with it."

It felt stupid to compare the next few minutes to torture, given that he'd experienced _actual _torture and had the scar to show for it. But although the seamstress' touch was as impersonal as could be, he couldn't help but shudder every time she got too close. It made him long for his swords, which he'd set down on the other side of the room, far out of his reach. Logically, he knew she wasn't a threat and was just trying to do her job, but emotionally...

It had almost been like a caress, until it wasn't. Then it was just pain.

He sucked in his breath, determined to just get through it. Nobody would have to touch him again once she was done. He could get through this, and he would. Whatever his father might think of him, he wasn't weak.

As soon as the seamstress was done, he scrambled to get his clothes back on. He felt safer, less self-conscious once they were, but even then he couldn't bring himself to look anyone in the eyes. It would be fine, he reasoned. Lost weight was something he could at least get back, especially now that he had access to three square meals a day.

He just wasn't so sure about everything else.

(But then... Toph had touched him too, and he hadn't recoiled from _that_. Maybe there was still hope for him yet. At least he wasn't afraid of children yet.)

"Is that all?" Zuko asked.

"That is all." The seamstress said, her tone as impersonal as ever. "I should have something finished by the end of the week."

If she had noticed the way he'd flinched, she'd apparently decided not to say anything. It was better than Poppy's blatant look of pity. He could feel it even without looking.

"You can go now, Li." Poppy said. "I am certain Toph is eager to see you."

Zuko said nothing, opting instead to give the pair a curt bow, before he grabbed his swords and left as quickly as he could without looking desperate.

He couldn't be out of there fast enough.

* * *

"You okay?" Toph asked later, when he'd made his way back to where she was waiting.

"Yeah," Zuko lied, "-I'm fine."

Toph didn't look convinced, but she also didn't push. He couldn't help but feel grateful. He swore he could still feel the seamstress' cool touch on him.

The new clothes had better be worth it.

* * *

He woke that night, drenched in sweat from a nightmare. He couldn't remember what it was about, but he could still feel his father's burning hand on his face, still hear the sound of his own screams.

Azula had smiled.

He couldn't get back to sleep after that. Instead he found himself a quiet patch of earth, far from where he could disturb anyone, and went through his sword forms again.

He'd stopped sleeping well after his mother had left anyways.

* * *

Toph Beifong continued to not be what he'd expected.

But then, he'd never quite known what to expect from her, even from the first time they'd met. She looked more like a delicate and fragile doll than she did a human child, blind and helpless. But that same blind and helpless girl had not only sought him out without any help, but had also found him- and beyond that, she'd never shown any hesitation, not even the slightest fear of taking the wrong step. While a lot of that could be explained away by familiarity, he wasn't stupid enough to think that was all could be.

He was having enough trouble adjusting to his _own _hampered vision. If he closed his right eye, and tried to see just out of his left, it usually wasn't long before he hit a wall- literally, in most cases. Moving with limited sight wasn't easy, but moving without any sight at all? That had to be even more difficult.

But Toph never seemed to have that problem.

And that was... actually pretty intriguing.

When they'd first met, he'd felt sympathy for the girl, understanding what it was like to grow up in an environment where your social options were limited. Unlike Azula, who'd been allowed to go to school, he'd been tutored in the royal palace. The only times he'd been allowed to play with children his own age were when Mai and Ty Lee were over, and again- those were Azula's friends, not his. So her desire to have someone to talk to... he could understand that.

_More _than understand that. It was part of why he'd chosen to stay.

Now he was finding a new reason- curiosity. Toph Beifong was more than what she appeared to be, of that he was certain.

(They had that in common too.)

That first night he'd been propelled from sleep by a nightmare, he hadn't noticed anything amiss, nor the one after that. But the third night?

He thought she was a ghost at first.

Pale and slight, her tiny figure cut through the manor gardens. He froze in place, unable to do anything more than watch. Closing his left eye to see better, he watched as the tiny figure pressed her hand against the earthen wall, which seemed to fall away at her gesture. It was only once it closed up behind her that he felt he could move again.

Exhaling, he pinched himself, just to check. It hurt.

He was awake, then.

Sheathing his swords, Zuko glanced behind him. He'd picked this spot to practice because there weren't any guards typically stationed nearby, no one he could disturb. It was probably that very same reason Toph had left in this direction, even though her room was on the other side of the grounds.

And make no mistake- that had definitely been Toph.

Zuko carefully navigated the darkened grounds until he made it to the spot Toph had vanished from. Peering behind him, he moved back a few steps, calculating the distance between himself and the top of the wall as best he could. He made the jump cleanly, in spite of his piss poor depth perception. Crouching low on top of the earthen wall, he scanned the darkness beyond it.

Where had she gone?

_Why _she had gone was slightly less of a question. He was only _half _blind, after all. He hadn't exactly missed the way her posture would shift whenever other people- especially her parents- were around, as if flipping a switch. It wasn't like with Azula, who would pretend to be innocent to get what she wanted- it was more like she was almost trying to protect something.

The _real _her, maybe. Maybe that was why she was so desperate for someone to talk to. Maybe it was because no one around her actually knew the first thing about her.

Narrowing his eyes, Zuko frowned. He doubted he'd be able to find Toph in the dark, not when she was doubtlessly infinitely more familiar with Gaoling than he was. Besides, something told him that this wasn't exactly her first time sneaking out after dark. If he waited, she would probably come back on her own.

Standing up, Zuko glanced back at the grounds of the Beifong manor, before he leapt down from the wall. He put some distance between himself and the spot where Toph had slipped out, climbing one of the few trees that dotted the estate's gardens. It wasn't like he had anything better to do except sleep, and that had proven to be a fruitless effort. Maybe he could even use the time to meditate.

Up a tree. With no sunlight. He wondered if Uncle had a proverb for this.

Probably. Uncle had a proverb for everything.

* * *

Toph didn't make it back until the early hours of the morning.

It was still dark out- the sun wouldn't rise for another couple of hours. She returned the same way she'd left- bending the earthen wall to create a hole, which she then passed through. She closed it as soon as she did, rendering her trespass invisible.

(Was it really trespassing if it was her house? Probably not, but his choice of words still stood.)

He thought briefly about confronting her, then and there, but quickly decided against it. Closing his left eye, he peered at her retreating figure in the dark. She didn't look any worse for wear, at least, not from this distance. A little dusty, maybe, but that wasn't exactly a problem for an earthbender. He watched her expertly weave her way through the grounds, avoiding the guards with practiced ease. She didn't seem to notice him, so he opted to stay where he was, waiting until she was out of sight before he came down out of the tree.

Guess he wasn't the only one around here keeping secrets.

* * *

"Didn't get enough sleep?"

Toph paused mid-yawn, before shrugging. "Eh, I've slept better."

Zuko's lips twitched slightly in the faintest of smiles. He guessed she wasn't quite as good at going without sleep as he was. Which, honestly? Was probably a _good _thing. It wasn't like he'd tried to cultivate that particular talent, at least, not on purpose. It was, quite frankly, a miracle in and of itself that he'd managed to sleep through the night twice in a row when he'd first arrived here. Testament to how badly he'd missed having something akin to an actual bed, he guessed.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Zuko asked. "I thought you had earthbending lessons today."

He was starting to get a handle on Toph's schedule- _his _schedule now, now that it was his job to shadow her. It was honestly pretty boring work, which involved a lot of standing around and doing nothing, which was still preferable to being glared at by that one hulking brute of a guard. _Yang_, he thought his name was- the same jerk who had gripped his arms hard enough to bruise when he'd brought him before Lao Beifong.

He wasn't sure what his problem was. Did he realize he was Fire Nation? Did he just not like the idea of letting a thief and a refugee within arm's reach of the young lady of the house? Or was he just a weirdo who liked glaring at children?

He had no idea, but just in case it was the former, he fully intended to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want to cause any trouble.

Well. Any _further _trouble.

"Trust me," Toph laughed, as if he'd said something funny, "-that won't be a problem."

Zuko just arched his remaining brow, tilting his head slightly. He hadn't met Toph's earthbending teacher yet- he only gave her lessons once a week. It was a huge difference from how things had worked in the palace, where he began every morning with several hours worth of firebending practice, which often bled into the afternoon thanks to his lack of skill. His tutors often wouldn't let him leave until he'd managed to perfect a set- or until someone came along and intervened, usually mother or Uncle, occasionally even Lu Ten, before he'd passed.

Of course, that was all a thing of the past. Now he couldn't so much as create even a single flame.

Weak. _Useless_. Just like his father always said he was.

"What's he like?" Zuko asked. "Your earthbending teacher, I mean."

It had gotten slightly easier to talk to Toph, if only just. To his surprise, she didn't seem to be growing tired of him just yet, though he wasn't certain how long that would last. He'd likely wear out his welcome at some point.

In response, Toph just crinkled her nose. "Obnoxious. You're going to hate him."

Zuko blinked, having not quite expected such a definitive- and negative- answer. He thought about his own firebending tutors, and how much he had loathed them. Still, he wouldn't exactly call them _obnoxious_\- just strict, and maybe a little too eager to use corporal punishment whenever he screwed up badly enough. Granted, he couldn't imagine either of Toph's parents allowing something like that to happen to her- if anything, they seemed kind of _over_protective of their daughter, since from the sound of it, they wouldn't let her leave the grounds of the manor without them, even _with _a guard.

As far as he could tell, Toph could more than handle herself, blind or not.

Realizing abruptly that she was still waiting for a response, Zuko pushed away his thoughts. "Guess I'll just take your word for it."

* * *

As it turned out, Toph wasn't wrong. Master Yu _was _pretty obnoxious.

Her earthbending lesson with him had lasted roughly around two hours, and during that time, they did little more than the most basic of breathing exercises. He kept expecting him to move on to something else, but that never happened.

Shouldn't an earthbending lesson include some actual _earthbending_?

He glanced over in the direction of Toph's father. Lao had come to oversee the lesson for himself, but he in no way looked dissatisfied. If anything, he looked _pleased_.

Zuko frowned. Maybe this was normal. Maybe it was the intensity of his own lessons that were strange.

But no. One look at Toph's face told him that wasn't the case. She looked... _frustrated_, and he had to wonder how it was that nobody else could see it. Clearly she, at least, thought she was ready to move on- that she could do more. And she _could_. He'd seen that much for himself last night. And while maybe opening up a hole in an earthen wall wasn't exactly an advanced earthbending technique, it did at least suggest that she was ready for something beyond just breathing exercises.

It wasn't like she was a _firebender_. Then the focus on breathing exercises might actually make sense. Fire came from the breath, after all, and poor breath control meant weak or even erratic firebending. He was sure breath control was important to the other bending arts as well, but short of airbending, he couldn't think of another bending style where an instructor might actually be able to justify a two hour session full of nothing but breathing exercises.

So maybe this wasn't normal either. Maybe this was just as bad as the lessons he'd gotten in the royal palace, just on the opposite end of the spectrum. Where his instructors had tried to push him to the point of breaking, Master Yu was instead attempting to squelch and squander any bending talent Toph might have.

And her father, from the look of it, was_ completely okay_ with this.

Narrowing his eyes, Li watched Master Yu with a scrutinizing gaze. He even _sounded _patronizing, now that he was listening out for it. He wondered how Toph managed to stomach it. Based on what he'd managed to glean from their conversations over the past few days, it didn't seem like she was the type of person to back down easily, just as stubborn as any earthbender.

Unless this was a fight she'd already given up.

(He hadn't fought his father either.)

Master Yu must have felt his gaze, because he cracked an eye open to look at him. Zuko leveled his gaze with his, but instead of holding his ground like any good earthbender should, he just shut his eyes again and pretended like he hadn't seen anything. He couldn't fool him though- not when the serene expression he'd once had had completely fled his face.

Zuko tried not to smirk, and failed.

* * *

"You know," he overheard the earthbending master whisper to Lao once he thought he was out of earshot, "-I have many promising young earthbenders you could hire instead."

"My daughter likes him." Lao said simply.

"Ah," Master Yu said, with a deep set frown, "-that is... unfortunate."

* * *

"I don't know what you did, Scruffy," Toph said, once they were _truly _out of earshot, "-but you should do it again."

Zuko just shrugged. "I just looked at him."

Toph arched a brow, the edges of her lips curling upwards. "You sure? Because I don't need to be able to see to tell he's watching you like a spooked pig-chicken."

Zuko tilted his head to the right, glancing behind him. Master Yu was still talking to Toph's father- about less interesting topics now- but he didn't miss the way he was watching him almost warily from his peripheral- from the left, the part of him that had started to pay more attention to these sorts of things noticed.

(He missed having peripheral vision in his left eye.)

Looking back at Toph, he just shrugged. "I've been told I glare."

A recent development, he thought to himself. Glaring was all the left half of his face was good for anymore.

(He'd been told he had a kind face, once. Not anymore.)

"Huh," Toph said, "-well, keep it up. Maybe you'll spook him so bad, they'll have to find me an _actual _teacher."

Zuko snorted in spite of himself, softly enough so that it wouldn't catch the attention of the two adults behind them. Guess he was right about Toph being frustrated with her lessons- or lack of them.

And just as right about her giving up fighting them.

Maybe they had more in common than he thought.

* * *

Toph didn't try sneaking out again that night. He'd waited in that same tree, until it became clear that she wasn't going to make a repeat appearance. He returned to the quarters he'd been given and tried to get some sleep. He snatched maybe two hours of it before he woke.

At least he'd started to recognize where he was when he woke up. Those first two nights he'd been forced awake in the middle of the night had been bad for many reasons, but the unfamiliarity hadn't helped. There was some tiny part of him that chafed at the very idea of getting familiar with the tiny, cramped quarters he'd been given, but the larger part of him- the part that had spent four months in the wilderness taking shelter wherever he could- was just glad to have a roof over his head for a change.

He huffed slightly. Some prince he was.

Hauling himself to his feet, Zuko yawned. Dawn wasn't for another hour, but he already knew he wasn't getting back to sleep. He decided to get an early start instead, grabbing the small basket of toiletries that the old woman who seemed to be in charge of the servants here had given to him the first morning he'd officially been employed. They all shared a communal bath here- separated by the sexes, of course- so he preferred to finish cleaning himself before anyone else woke up anyways.

Just another thing Azula would probably laugh at him about if she knew.

He grit his teeth. At least he'd _found _work. Azula would have rather died than work any job she deemed beneath her- which to her, was probably anything that wasn't being a princess. _Crown _princess now, he thought bitterly. He bet father was eager to make her his official heir now that he was out of the way.

In a few years, it would probably be like Prince Zuko never even existed.

He washed himself quickly, heading back to his small room before anyone else woke up. Aside from the thin mattress and a change of clothes one of the other servants had been generous enough to offer him as sleepwear, it was pretty much empty. Even if he managed to stick around longer than a few months, he didn't exactly see himself as personalizing it too much.

Familiarity was fine, but he didn't want to start thinking of this place as _home_. At the end of the day, banished or not, he was still Fire Nation royalty. He'd take advantage of these people's generosity enough to survive, but he didn't dare pretend that he was anything but the enemy in this land, not for one second. Even if he saw the war for what it really was, it didn't change the fact that it had been his family that had started this conflict, and his family that had perpetuated it for a hundred years.

He didn't deserve their kindness, or their pity.

He had a home. He'd lost it. This was just a place to live.

* * *

Toph didn't try sneaking out the next night, either.

The clothes Poppy's seamstress made for him arrived that morning. Xia Su brought them, the task passed on to her down the chain of servants. He still kept his distance from them, and in turn, it kind of felt like they were keeping their distance from him. Like they didn't quite know what to make of him just yet.

Maybe they could tell he wasn't one of them.

"If I were you," Xia Su advised him, "-I would wait until tomorrow to wear them. It's going to rain today."

Zuko turned his head to glance out the thin slit window, the only one in his tiny room. The sky was clear, but his scar stung, so he knew she was right. It was going to rain today.

"I'll keep that in mind." Zuko said, taking the clothes from her, careful to avoid any actual contact. "Thanks."

Xia Su gave him the faintest of smiles. "You should remember to check the chore rotation tomorrow. You're being added to it."

Zuko blinked. Right. He'd forgotten about that. He wondered if he could learn how to cook overnight. Probably not.

Realizing that Xia Su was waiting for a reply, he shifted awkwardly on his feet. "Oh, uh. Thanks for telling me. I'll be sure to look."

Xia Su merely arched a brow. "You've never done a chore in your life, have you?"

Zuko winced. "Is it that obvious?"

"Very." Xia Su said, her tone light, as if she hadn't just casually grasped at a part of something he was trying very hard to hide. "But don't worry. We won't hold it against you. The war has taken everything from so many people."

Zuko just swallowed, ducking his head. He couldn't help but feel a stab of guilt at those words. He wondered about Xia Su's limp again.

"Yeah," he finally managed to get out, "-it's been pretty rough."

She just gave him a sad smile, before taking a step back. "You should try eating with us for a change, Li. Everyone's dying to get to know you better."

Zuko tried not to laugh. He had a hard time believing that.

"I'll keep that in mind." Zuko said. "Thanks for the clothes."

Xia Su inclined her head in response, before she went back the way she came. Her limp was worse today- it was going to rain, after all.

* * *

He didn't end up wearing the new set of clothes that day. It was the right call- the rain had started late in the morning, and was showing no signs of letting up, even going into the evening. All of Toph's lessons had been canceled, and she was confined to her room, as if her parents were afraid she'd slip on a wet patch and crack her head open.

Somehow he doubted it.

"I _hate _the rain." Toph grumbled. "It makes it so hard to see."

Zuko cocked his only brow, even though the gesture was doubtlessly lost on the blind girl. "How does that work?"

Toph just gave him that wide grin of hers, the one that she didn't show around her parents. "Hey, just because we're friends doesn't mean you get all my secrets, Scruffy."

Zuko blinked at the statement, for a second not sure if he'd heard her right. "I don't- we're friends?"

"We're not?" Toph asked.

"I-" Zuko began, before snapping his mouth shut. The stab of guilt was back, but he forced himself to swallow it. "We've only known each other for a week."

A week in which he'd been lying to her and everyone around her. Li the refugee didn't exist. He was a work of fiction, like in one of his mother's plays, like one of Azula's lies, but worse, because _he _was the one telling the lies now.

"So?" Toph asked.

"So you barely even know me." Zuko pointed out.

"Eh," Toph shrugged, looking unbothered by this, "-I think I know you just fine."

Zuko frowned, opening his mouth to insist that she _didn't_, before he shut it again, heaving a long sigh. "Fine. We can be friends, if that's what you want."

Toph just laughed. "Spoken like you have any real say in the matter."

In spite of himself, Zuko laughed. If there was one thing he'd learned about Toph Beifong- the _real _Toph Beifong, not the meek little girl she showed to her parents- it was that she ultimately didn't need anyone's input. If she said they were friends, he guessed it meant that they were.

For now, at least.

* * *

It was still pouring by the time night rolled around, so he didn't even bother waiting for Toph. Given her express dislike for rain, he doubted she'd be sneaking out tonight.

He slept five whole hours that night, waking only when the downpour turned into a drizzle.

(Fires couldn't start in the rain.)

* * *

The new clothes were definitely an improvement.

They were still fairly simple, all in all, consisting of a deep green outer robe with paler green trim, and dark brown underclothes. They were unmistakably servant's robes, but they were made of a good material and were fairly easy to move in. They fit better than his stolen clothes, which he folded up and tucked into one corner of his room, next to his borrowed night clothes. It felt a little strange to be wearing green, but then, he wasn't exactly the prince of the Fire Nation anymore. He was an Earth Kingdom servant now, whose name was Li.

Toph's mother made a noise of approval. Toph's father said nothing.

He spared a glance at one of the hallway mirrors, and grimaced, instantly regretting it. He'd been avoiding them ever since he'd gotten his scar, and now he kind of wished he hadn't. Maybe then he would at least have been able to track the progress of the transformation that had left him looking so different from what he remembered. It wasn't just the lack of phoenix tail or even the scar- it was something else, something more fundamental.

Well, at least he probably wouldn't have to worry about anyone recognizing him as Zuko, not when he could barely recognize himself.

(He _was _still Zuko, though. Maybe he wasn't _Prince _Zuko anymore, but he was still _Zuko_. No one could take that away from him, no matter what name he went by.)

His first assigned chore was, thankfully, _not _cooking. Washing dishes turned out to not be all that complicated, and he only ended up breaking one. It was a testament to how much he'd adjusted to his lack of depth perception that he hadn't shattered more. He _was _supposed to help cook dinner at the end of the week, though. May Agni have mercy.

(He wasn't sure who, exactly, Agni was supposed to have mercy on in this scenario. Someone, clearly.)

He still didn't eat with the other servants. Not yet.

Toph just grinned at him when he came to greet her that morning, and told him she thought he looked great. It was a trap, and he didn't fall for it.

She wasn't as disappointed by that as he thought she'd be. He filed away the fact that she had even been able to tell that there had been a change for later. He was starting to suspect there was a lot about Toph he didn't know.

Well, two could play at that game.

* * *

She snuck out that night. He followed, but lost her somewhere in the forest, even though he'd made sure to keep his footsteps as quiet as possible. Rather than let himself get lost searching for her, he just went back to the Beifong manor and waited for her to come back, hiding in the usual tree.

He thought about confronting her again, but chose not to. There was something about the glint in her otherwise dull grayish-green eyes when she greeted him the next morning that told him she already knew. This was a game to her, and silence during daytime hours was one of the unspoken rules. If he wanted to find out where she was going, he was just going to have to do a better job of catching her.

_Never give up without a fight_, the knife his Uncle had sent him from Ba Sing Se read.

He didn't intend to.

* * *

Two nights passed before Toph snuck out again. He'd learned the layout of the Beifong manor by heart, though probably not as well as Toph knew it, and not nearly as well as he knew all the twists and turns of the royal palace.

His attempt at helping with the laundry could have gone better, but thankfully he hadn't managed to ruin anyone's clothes. Xia Su had laughed, and so had the older man who lived in the room next to his, both of whom had been assigned to laundry duty with him. He should have felt humiliated, but he wasn't. It wasn't the same as Azula's mocking laughter, which still haunted him in his dreams sometimes.

They weren't making fun of him, not really. They were just laughing.

He didn't quite laugh with them. Not yet.

He lost Toph in the forest again, but he managed to do better this time. In his opinion, Toph had to have cheated somewhere along the way, using her earthbending to fool him. Then again, he guessed an earthbender using earthbending wasn't _exactly _cheating, but it did feel slightly unfair when he couldn't even bend.

Then again, he wasn't entirely sure how firebending could even help with this particular scenario, other than giving him some extra light. But the moon was plenty bright, and his one good eye was still pretty good, so he made do without a guiding flame. His firebending was supposed to be a secret anyways- a secret that was super easy to keep, considering he couldn't even so much as create a single spark at the moment.

So fine. He guessed using earthbending wasn't cheating. That didn't mean Toph had to look so _amused _about it the next morning.

* * *

His first attempt at cooking could have gone worse.

Okay, so if he was going to be honest, he hadn't actually _cooked _anything. The old lady in charge in charge of preparing dinner had taken one look at him, and regulated him to the cutting board. The other servant with them had looked a little green about letting someone with only one good eye near a knife, but it hadn't been a problem. He was a lot better at estimating the actual distance between himself and a potential weapon than he was at estimating the distance between himself and anything else, even if he was the one holding the weapon.

It was a good thing chopping vegetables turned out to actually be relaxing, because trying to follow Toph that night had turned out to be downright frustrating. Not only did he lose her, he also managed to _get _lost- it took him nearly two hours to find his way back to the Beifong manor.

He made a mental note to familiarize himself with the surrounding area as much as possible. That wasn't going to happen again.

At least Toph didn't know about _that_.

* * *

"Huan," Toph began, "-do you think you could find Li a map of the area? I'm sure he'll want to leave on his days off, and I wouldn't want him getting _lost_."

_Dammit._

* * *

Master Yu didn't teach Toph any actual earthbending this time either.

As per Toph's request, he spent nearly the entire training session staring at the back of his head. He didn't even really glare at him- just plain staring was enough- but apparently it was enough to do the trick. The fact that he didn't even have to try normally would have stung, but in this case it was worth it, if he could make him feel just as uncomfortable and frustrated as Toph herself felt.

"Good job, Scruffy." Toph told him later, once Master Yu was gone. "I think you really spooked him this time."

Zuko just shrugged. "You did ask me to."

Toph just grinned. "I'm just glad you remembered."

"I have a good memory." Zuko said. "And he is kind of obnoxious."

Toph laughed, in that loud way she did when no one else was around to hear it. This was his second week here, so even that one glaring guard with the attitude problem wasn't shadowing him anymore. He got the feeling the other guard- _Huan_, the one who had made his cuffs loose on purpose- had been keeping an eye on him, but he didn't get a lot of chances to talk to the manor's guards, despite effectively being one himself.

"I did tell you as much." Toph said.

"Well, you were right." Zuko admitted. "He is. He's clearly babying you."

He expected Toph to vehemently agree, but instead she just looked downcast. "I just wish my parents would see it that way."

Zuko frowned, tilting his head. "Have you tried talking to them about it?"

"It wouldn't matter even if I did." Toph shook her head. "They wouldn't listen. If anything, it might just make things _worse_."

Zuko's frown deepened, his gaze falling on the floor. He thought of his own father, and the way he'd begged and pleaded with him, told him that he didn't want to fight him. How that had backfired on him in the worst way possible.

"Yeah," he finally said, "-I get that."

"What were they like?" Toph looked up at him. She didn't usually bother looking at people when she talked to them, but she did now. "Your parents, I mean."

"My mother was great." Zuko said, without hesitation. "My father... my father wasn't."

He touched his scar without meaning to. He could barely feel his fingers on his face, like the ghost of a touch. He wondered how unbalanced all his expressions were now, if he looked mean and cruel no matter what kind of face he was making. He'd never been mean like his father wanted him to be, so he'd made him _look _mean instead.

Toph just frowned, saying nothing for a long moment. When she finally spoke, her voice was uncharacteristically quiet, even if he factored in her docile facade.

"Is he the reason you can't go home?"

Dropping his hand from his face, Zuko swallowed. "Yeah."

"Did he," Toph almost hesitated- and Toph _never _hesitated, in so far as he knew, "-did he hurt you?"

"Yeah," Zuko admitted, not seeing any point in lying, "-he did."

There was another long silence, Toph clenching her tiny fists as if she was looking for someone to hurt, but couldn't find anyone. Not that he would let her anywhere near his father. She could be the greatest earthbender in the world, and it still wouldn't be enough. Not when her opponent was a monster who melted children's faces.

_"If she can't use them,"_ he could almost hear his father say, _"-why does she even need her eyes?"_

Toph looked up at him, alarmed, and for a split second, he was afraid he'd actually said something out loud. But it was _concern _that her brows creased with, not anything else.

"You know," Toph began, almost seeming careful with her words for once, "-I think I didn't get my fill of stupid breathing exercises today. Maybe I'll do some more."

There was a pause as she sat down, before very purposefully glancing his way. "You could join me."

"I'm not an earthbender." Zuko mumbled.

"Maybe not." Toph said. "But you look like you could use them."

In spite of himself, he felt the faintest upward twitch of his lips. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Toph challenged. "Now are you going to shut up and breathe with me, or do I need to drag you down here myself?"

Zuko just held up his hands in defeat, before awkwardly taking a seat close to her. Toph smiled, then exhaled, her breathing growing slow and rhythmic. He mimicked her. It felt strange not to be breathing in his usual meditative pattern, yet somehow there was still something almost calming about it. They fell into a strangely comfortable silence, one punctuated only by the sounds of their breathing.

It was... kind of nice, actually.

* * *

"Huh," Toph finally broke the silence what felt like hours later, "-what do you know. That wasn't actually boring. I guess good company really _does _improve everything."

"Yeah," Zuko agreed, a faint smile on his lips, "-I guess it does."

* * *

He didn't wake that night, not even once.

He felt like he'd been close to having a nightmare once- but just before his dreams could give way to the acrid scent of smoke and boiling flesh, a strong hand gripped his wrist, pulling him away from it, away from his father's burning hand and his sister's gleeful smile. Instead his nose was filled with the scent of earth, with the fire lilies that his mother had once loved, with the gentle scent of jasmine tea.

He woke with the dawn, calm and refreshed.

He cleaned himself quickly and swiftly, avoiding the other servants, just as he always did. But instead of grabbing a bowl of food from the communal kitchen and disappearing elsewhere into the servant's quarters with it, this time he sat down with it. Not at the long table all the household servants shared, but on the ledge of a window, far enough away so that nobody could touch him.

But close enough that for once, he was actually _there_.

Xia Su caught his eye, and smiled. He didn't quite smile back, but it was enough. The man whose room was next to his- he really needed to learn his name, needed to learn _all _their names- gave him a little wave, to which he politely nodded back.

If she ever saw this, saw him dressed in green servant's wear, mingling with Earth Kingdom servants like he was one of them, Azula would probably laugh at him.

That was fine. Let her laugh.

At least he was in good company for once.


	4. those left behind

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Toph and Zuko bonding for some time in the Fire Nation. The first scene takes place just a month after Zuko's banishment, while the rest take place four months after it- around the time Zuko gets hired by the Beifongs. Next up should be some more Toph and Zuko, though- namely, Zuko discovering a Certain Thing about Toph. That is, provided I don't decide to whip up the first installment of my "Zuko gets raised by dragons" AU instead and unleash 99.8% feral Zuko on the world first. You never know.

* * *

**kintsugi**

**those left behind**

* * *

Zuko was gone.

It still didn't feel real. Maybe it was just the fact that it had barely even been a month since it all happened. She kept expecting to turn a corner and see him, but it was like there was no trace left of him within the royal palace, nor even anywhere in the Caldera. No one brought him up either- even Azula no longer talked about him, not even to gloat.

It was almost as if he had never existed.

Mai didn't like it.

She didn't like it, and yet she couldn't say a thing against it. Part of her wanted to. Part of her knew this was wrong- all of it. Zuko's banishment, the Agni Kai, the way everyone was working so hard to pretend he'd never existed, as if his very existence was a stain on the royal family.

Maybe it was. He'd never been like the rest of them. That was part of the reason why he'd caught her interest in the first place, much as she would never admit it. He was different. _Kind_, in a place where true kindness was scarce.

He'd never been afraid to speak his mind either. If their situations were reversed, and _she _was the one who had been banished, not Zuko, she didn't doubt that he would be raising a ruckus for her sake. The fact that she wouldn't have asked him to wouldn't change a thing.

But it was also speaking his mind that had gotten him into this mess in the first place. And she couldn't allow herself to forget that.

"I thought I'd find you up here."

"What do you want, Ty Lee?"

Mai barely so much as spared a glance behind her. Ty Lee's voice was less chipper than usual, but there was no mistaking it. She could pick it out, even when it was mixed in with those of her siblings'. They had known each other for a long time, after all. Maybe not as long as she had known Azula- but long enough.

"I just thought I would come see how you were doing." Ty Lee said, coming to stand next to her uninvited. The younger girl was always doing stuff like that. She couldn't decide if she hated it or not- not that it would matter even if she did.

She'd learned from a young age that sometimes it was easier to just go along with things. That the trouble resisting got her just wasn't worth it.

"I'm fine." Mai lied. "You don't have to worry about me."

"You say that, but your aura's been all dingy ever since Zuko left." Ty Lee said.

_Left_. The edge of Mai's lips twitched downwards, the only ripple on her otherwise impassive face. She made it sound so simple, like this was something Zuko had _wanted_. Like he'd had some kind of say in this, rather than being shipped off by force, when he hadn't even healed yet.

Then again, she wasn't sure if he ever would.

She hadn't been there, at the Agni Kai. Her mother had told her it wasn't a place for young ladies. She was almost grateful that she hadn't been. She wasn't sure if she could have kept her silence if she had.

Just seeing him had been bad enough.

She knew she wasn't supposed to. But for once, _wasn't supposed to_ hadn't been enough to stop her. She had to see- she had to _know _what had been done to him. Sneaking a peek at Zuko hadn't been as difficult as she'd thought- there was almost no one watching the healer's rooms that Zuko had been placed in after the Agni Kai. He hadn't even known she was there, unconscious the entire time. Whether it was from the pain or from the healer's remedies, she couldn't say.

All she knew was that he'd looked terrible.

Then he was gone.

Just like that, no more Zuko.

"You know I don't believe in that stuff, right?" Mai asked, keeping her tone perfectly dry.

"It doesn't change what I see." Ty Lee shrugged, once again making it sound so _simple_. "You miss him, don't you?"

Mai said nothing. She didn't have to. There was no hiding it, not from Ty Lee. Not when she had come here, to the highest point in Caldera City just to gaze out at the sea like some melancholy, lovelorn schoolgirl.

(She would not admit how spot on that description probably was.)

"You know there's nothing wrong with that, right?" Ty Lee asked. "I mean, I know it seems like everyone around here is trying to forget about Zuko, but-"

"Stop." Mai cut her friend off. "Just drop it, Ty Lee."

Ty Lee frowned, but at least she didn't say anything more. Mai was grateful, though she wouldn't say that either. Instead she just turned her gaze back out towards the sea, knowing that somewhere across the vast expanse of it was Zuko. She wondered if he'd stayed by the sea, or if he had ventured inland, trying to get away from anyone who might recognize him.

If he was even still _alive_.

"I can go, you know." Ty Lee said after a moment. "I mean, if you want to be alone."

Mai considered it for a long moment, then finally shook her head. She might not be able to bring herself to talk about it, but she still didn't want the other girl to go. She knew it was only a matter of time before Azula found them. Then she would have to go back to pretending. At least when it was just her and Ty Lee, she didn't have to.

Ty Lee gave her a faint smile, before she pulled herself up on the railing, sitting there as if she feared nothing- not the height, nor the wind- a single strong gust of which would be all it would take to smash her tiny body to death on the ground below. Why would she? They both knew someone who was even scarier than all the forces of nature combined.

(She hadn't always been that way, Mai ruefully thought.)

(Where had it all gone so _wrong_?)

"I miss him too, you know." Ty Lee said, staring towards the sea.

Mai said nothing, instead fixing her gaze on a Fire Navy ship making it's way from port. She watched it until it faded into the horizon, remembering how Zuko had been taken away on such a ship. She wished she could have watched it go, but Azula had refused to let them.

Her last memory of Zuko remained one of him prone, motionless, and swathed in bandages. She didn't think she would forget it for so long as she lived.

"Do you think Azula misses him?" Mai finally asked, once the ship was nothing more than a distant speck on the horizon.

"Of course she does." Ty Lee assured her. "He's family. Why wouldn't she?"

Ty Lee, she noted, was still looking at the sea, not at her. Mai huffed, resting her arms on the railing, followed shortly by her chin.

Liar.

* * *

He knew from the moment he set foot on Fire Nation soil that something was wrong.

That was actually a lie. He knew before, back when the rumors first reached him. But some part of him had clung to the desperate hope that the rumors had been wrong. That his brother couldn't possibly have been _that _cruel.

He should have known better.

Iroh did not often lose his temper. Even when he had been a young man, filled with patriotism towards his country, he had never been one to lash out in anger. But now, standing before his own younger brother, he barely managed to keep it in check.

"Ozai!"

Despite the massive breach of decorum he'd just performed by barging into the throne room unannounced and uninvited, Ozai barely even batted an eye. But then, his brother had likely already seen this coming for a long time now.

Four months. If the rumors were true, Zuko had been gone from the Fire Nation for four months now, banished at the hands of a father who'd challenged a thirteen year old _child _to an Agni Kai. _His _child. The rumors had said that Prince Zuko had been on his knees, begging, pleading with his father, telling him he didn't want to fight... and that Ozai had thought this was a disgrace.

He'd _burned _him.

If what the rumors said were true, that was. And looking at the face of his brother, cool and impassive, somehow Iroh couldn't find it in himself to doubt it.

"General Iroh," he said cooly, betraying nothing yet everything at the same time, "-I assume you have good reason for this breech of protocol."

Iroh took a deep breath, years of experience and wisdom all that stood in the way of allowing himself to say something he knew he would be unable to take back. Even then, it was a struggle. He had to wonder how things ended up this way between them- how _Ozai _had ended up this way. Looking back on their lives, it seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye, but he was sure there must have been warning signs that he'd missed, or even outright ignored.

But it was too late to change the past now. All he could do was focus on the present.

The present, and Zuko.

"Is it true?" He more demanded than asked. "Is it true what I have heard about Zuko?"

He nearly expected Ozai to open his mouth and deny ever having a son, but instead the man merely glanced over towards the few guards lingering in the throne room, dismissing them with a wave of his hand. His expression didn't once shift from that of cool impassivity, no emotion surfacing in those pale yellow eyes, so alike and yet unlike those of his son's.

His eye. The rumors said he'd burned out Zuko's eye.

"That depends," Ozai said cooly, "-on what you have heard."

"Do not play games with me, brother." Iroh said firmly. "The rumors of your Agni Kai with _your own son_ have already reached the colonies."

There was more venom in his tone than Iroh meant, but not because he didn't feel it. He didn't understand how Ozai could have done such a thing. He should have known better than to underestimate his brother's cruelty, but he, who had already lost his own son simply could not wrap his mind around how someone could want to do harm to their own. Zuko might not be the firebending prodigy that Ozai wished for as his heir, but he was still his own flesh and blood, his _child_.

Children were to be _protected_, not mutilated by their own fathers. Not cast out, _banished_, set adrift in enemy territory with no one to guide them.

"I merely taught the boy a lesson on respect." Ozai said, making it all sound so simple. "We can't all be as soft as you, Iroh."

He spat out the word _soft_, as if it were supposed to be an insult. He supposed in Ozai's eyes, it was.

Iroh's gut churned. Those words were all he needed to confirm that everything he had heard was likely true. That Ozai had truly challenged Zuko to an Agni Kai, had burned his faced, had disowned and banished him, then dumped him on Earth Kingdom shores. For a Fire Nation royal, that was as good as a death sentence, especially if Zuko were recognized. And even if he weren't, left on his own, his burn largely untreated...

...his odds of survival were anything but good.

At least when he had died, Lu Ten had been an adult. He'd known that when he'd joined the siege on Ba Sing Se, that there was a chance he might lose his life. But Zuko? Zuko was only a boy, a child who from the sound of it, likely hadn't even known who he was meant to fight in that Agni Kai. He'd heard that he'd spoken out against a general's plans, so he must have thought...

He could only imagine the terror he'd felt when he'd turned around and realized the truth. That his opponent was not the general, but instead his own father.

He cursed himself, not for the first time, for not being there. Maybe he could have prevented this. Prevented Zuko from being in that war room in the first place. It was no place for a child, not even the Crown Prince. He was unsure as to how he had even gotten there in the first place, other than the fact that someone must have let him in.

(Ozai always had been looking for an excuse to get rid of him.)

"So you burned him." Iroh said flatly, not allowing any of his inner turmoil to show. "And then banished him."

"If he is strong, he will survive." Ozai said.

His tone suggested that he expected no such thing.

"In any case, it is no longer any concern of mine." Ozai said. "He is no longer my son, no longer a part of this family. Azula is my heir now."

Iroh's eyes narrowed. He had been aware for some time now just how much Ozai favored his second born over his first. She was everything that Zuko wasn't- everything that his brother wished for in an heir. It was merely a cruel twist of fate that she was not the first born, otherwise he was certain that the fates would have been somewhat kinder to Zuko.

He would have still been ignored, neglected by his father, but at least he would still be _here_. Still be _whole_.

"If that is all, brother," he did not miss the undercurrent of menace to Ozai's tone, "-then kindly depart my presence before I decided your breech of protocol is a mistake too grave to overlook."

It was not a bluff, Iroh recognized. He'd already turned on one member of his family. He was more than willing to do it again.

(Perhaps, he thought, reflecting once more on their father's unexpected death, it was not the first time.)

Iroh didn't say a word. He merely bowed, before turning on his heel to leave. There was much work to be done. Ozai might think his son dead, but Iroh knew otherwise. If there was one thing he knew about the young prince, it was that he was a fighter. He had to be, growing up in this den of viper-bats where even a single sign of weakness was one too many.

Zuko was alive. He knew it in his bones.

It was just a matter of finding him.

* * *

"Who knocks at the garden gate?"

"One who has eaten its fruit and tasted its mysteries."

The small slit window carved into the door slid shut, and a second later, the door itself opened. It was a formality, he knew- he was well known at this particular safe house. Nearly every member who had ties to this place could identify him on sight- not as Prince Iroh, once heir to the throne, but as the Grand Lotus, he who stood at the forefront of the Order of the White Lotus.

"Grand Lotus," his contact bowed to him as soon as he entered, "-it is good to see you well."

Iroh spared the man a smile, even though he hardly felt like smiling at the moment. He had put out the call for any information regarding Zuko a week ago, a week which felt as if it had dragged on forever. He'd kept to himself in the palace, knowing that his mood was too off to truly deal with any politicking. Thankfully, his reputation as something of a recluse had finally come in handy- no one had disturbed him. He doubted anyone would.

"Has there been any news?" Iroh asked.

"There has." His contact straightened, but the expression on his face was grim. "A boy matching Prince Zuko's description was indeed dropped off at the Earth Kingdom port of Sei Wan four months prior, but there have been no further reports of him since then."

Iroh frowned. Even if he assumed that Zuko had the wisdom to disguise himself somewhat, a boy of his description still should have stood out. The scar his father had surely left him with would have seen to that. And yet, from the sound of it, he'd truly gone to the earth, disappearing almost as soon as he'd set foot in the Earth Kingdom.

He was uncertain if that was a good thing or not.

On one hand, surely someone would have heard if the Fire Nation prince had been captured by Earth Kingdom forces. On the other... it was not only soldiers that Zuko would have to worry about. It had still been early spring when he'd been deposited on Earth Kingdom shores, and the port of Sei Wan was far enough north that winter would have still been clinging to it. Even if he survived the elements, there were also wild animals, bandits... countless things that could have ended the life of an innocent, near defenseless child.

But no. He couldn't allow himself to think that. Zuko would not die so easily. There was a reason he had sent him that knife.

He would never give up without a fight.

"Please keep me informed if anything changes." Iroh instructed.

The man bowed again, before making himself scarce, leaving him to his own thoughts. He still hadn't quite decided what he would even do if he found Zuko. His first instinct was to go to him, to help him- but he also knew that with circumstances as they were, he could not leave the Fire Nation so easily. Not with his brother on the throne, and Azula as his new heir.

Azula.

He'd not yet seen the girl, not since his return to the royal palace. He'd heard... _rumors_, unpleasant ones- namely that she had been present at her brother's fateful Agni Kai, and rather than be horrified at her brother's fate, she'd instead _smiled_.

He wished he could deny them, but he knew the daughter that Ozai had raised. She may have been born lucky, but it was that very luck that had garnered the attention of a monster. Some part of him was still loathe to think of his own brother that way, but he could not deny the reality that he was before him. His brother was every inch the monster Earth Kingdom widows whispered fearfully about in the dark.

He was now attempting to mold his daughter to be much the same. And based upon what Iroh had seen after he'd returned from his siege of Ba Sing Se... he'd succeeded.

It was with a pang of guilt that he realized he'd written her off almost as soon as he had realized it. It had seemed easier somehow, to concentrate solely on Zuko- not to mention somewhat necessary. Without his mother or Lu Ten, there was no one within the palace left to protect him. He had assumed that role, but his attentions had always been divided between the young prince and his duties at the Grand Lotus.

In the end, it was the latter that had prevented him from protecting the former.

It pained him to acknowledge it, but there was nothing more he could do for Zuko until the boy was found. He could search for him himself, but he knew that he would only put him in more danger by doing so. There were still plenty within the Earth Kingdom who still remembered what the Dragon of the West looked like- the fact that he had put on several pounds since his failed siege would only disguise him so much. Zuko, on the other hand, was a relative unknown- his eyes might mark him as Fire Nation, but they did not brand him as a prince. Lost and on his own, people would be far more likely to assume he was an unwanted child of mixed blood than a Fire Nation royal.

No. Better to let those of Earth Kingdom blood ask after his nephew. If they found him, only then would he go.

What he could still do, however, was look to the one who had been left behind- to his niece. He was unsure if he could save her from Ozai's grasp, not after he'd sunk his claws so deeply into her- but it was better than not trying at all.

But first, he had to see her.

* * *

"Princess Azula, General Iroh is here to see you."

Azula barely even spared so much as a glance at the servant who'd called to her. She had half a mind to tell her to refuse Uncle- she had no real interest in seeing that failure, especially not after it had taken him so long to come and greet her. It had been a week since he'd returned to the Fire Nation, and yet he'd not called on her once during that entire time. If she cared more, she might have actually been insulted.

Still, she supposed it would be rude of her not to receive him. She _was _the Crown Princess now, after all.

"Very well," Azula finally said, "-let him in."

The servant bowed, hastily leaving her chambers. She didn't have to wait long before she returned with her Uncle. He was just as fat and old as she remembered, though perhaps a bit more worn.

No real surprise there. From what she had heard, he'd taken the news of Zuko's banishment hard. He always had liked him more than her.

(Just like mother.)

"Uncle," Azula greeted him, her tone one of clipped politeness, "-I'm surprised. I didn't think you'd planned on coming to see me."

"You will have to forgive me, Princess Azula." Iroh apologized, though she doubted he actually meant it. "It has been a rather difficult week for me."

Azula hummed, considering the man. "I take it you heard about Zuko's banishment."

"Yes." Iroh's face darkened somewhat. "It was not the kind of news that I expected to greet me upon my return home."

"Well, I can't say that he didn't have it coming," Azula said simply, staring disinterestedly down at her nails. She had been working on growing them out into fine points, dangerous and deadly, "-seeing as he was foolish enough to do the one thing he was explicitly told not to do."

Honestly. She always knew her brother was a fool, but clearly he was even more foolish than she'd first assumed. Her father had done him a service, allowing him into that war meeting in the first place- on the condition that he was to remain _silent_. How difficult was it to follow one simple instruction?

_Very_, if you were Zuzu.

Oh well. At least he was gone now. It was better this way, really. He never would have made a good Firelord, not like her father. He was always too weak, too pathetic. It was for the best that he was removed from the picture entirely.

It certainly didn't help that this meant that _she _was now her father's only heir.

Really, it was as it should be. Maybe if Zuko were lucky, he would find that nice Earth Kingdom family to take him in after all.

(But then, her brother was _never _lucky.)

Her uncle frowned, the corners of his eyes crinkling in what she was certain was disapproval. "Surely you cannot agree with your father's methods."

"Why shouldn't I?" Azula asked, locking eyes with him, daring the man to challenge her. "He was weak, and foolish enough to do the one thing father told him not to. It's only right that he was punished for it."

His expression didn't even falter, which she supposed was to his credit. He had been considered to be one of the Fire Nation's top generals at one point. Clearly, not everything he'd learned during that time had completely fled him after his failure at Ba Sing Se. Still, there was no denying that he was a shell of his former self- and if she was being perfectly honest, _his former self_ wasn't much to speak of to begin with.

Really, sometimes she had no idea how _this _could possibly be the Dragon of the West, slayer of the last two dragons. Perhaps they had simply been too old and weak to defend themselves.

Or perhaps like her Uncle, the dragons were simply never that great to begin with.

"He is still your brother." Iroh finally said, almost cautiously. "Your family."

"Not any longer." Azula said. "He's been written out of the family register. He might as well not exist."

This time Iroh did react, if only by the slightest of margins. Still, she didn't miss the crinkle of his brow, nor the way his fingers tensed at his sides. Her tutors had taught her to pick up on such things, so that she might use them to her advantage.

Not that there was any advantage to be gained here. Her Uncle was nothing more than a weak old man, a disinherited prince who simply sat by and let his throne be stolen from him. She supposed it was fitting, in a way, that he would so favor her brother, only for him to go on and suffer the same fate.

Two of a kind, really.

"That may be so," Iroh continued, "-but that does not change the bond that you share."

Azula narrowed her eyes. She was starting to grow tired of this. She wasn't sure what he expected from her- did he think she would start to weep and admit that she wanted Zuko back? Why would she, when his banishment had gotten her everything she had always wanted? Everything that always should have been hers in the first place, and would have been, if she hadn't had the ill luck to be born second.

(Not that she was ever unlucky. No, that was more of Zuko's thing.)

"Is there a point to this?" Azula asked, deciding to just cut to the chase. "Because if there's not, then I suggest you leave. I'm not interested in hearing about how sad you are now that Zuko is gone, old man."

Iroh just smiled sadly at her. She wished he wouldn't. There always seemed to be something so pitying about it.

"I merely wished to speak with you." Iroh said. "But if you wish me gone..."

"Yes." Azula said quickly- perhaps a bit too quickly. "I do."

"Very well then," Iroh said, "-if that is what you truly wish, then I will leave."

Azula said nothing, simply waiting for the old man to finally leave. When he did, she fought the urge to let out a breath of relief. Whatever it was that the old fool had expected from her, she wanted no part in it.

And why should she care about Zuko anyways? He'd gotten what was coming to him, just as she said. He should have known better to display such shameful weakness in front of their father, and yet he'd done it anyways- begging and pleading on his knees like the disgrace he was. Why should she miss a weakling like that, when there was so much to be gained from his banishment?

She was the Crown Princess now, father's heir. It was all as it should be.

And yet even she could not deny how empty the palace's halls had felt these past few months. She tried to convince herself that she just wasn't used to his absence yet, but some part of her knew that was a lie. That there was some shameful, weak part of her that actually _missed _her brother, that wanted him back.

She felt it now. Damn her Uncle, for making her think of him. She'd been doing so well, and yet just one look at the man's eyes had brought it all back. Biting her lip, she glared at the wall, wondering what it would take to finally suppress this weak part of her. She was not some _weak child_ who needed to cling to her older brother, especially not when she was more powerful than he could ever hope to be.

Oh well. She supposed it didn't matter much in the long run what feelings her Uncle brought with him. It wasn't as if he'd stick around. He never did. The man had become a recluse after Lu Ten's death, and she saw no reason why that would change now.

Perhaps he'd disappear into the Earth Kingdom too, gone after Zuko. She wouldn't miss him, she thought to herself. Just one weakling going after another.

Just another member of her family, gone. Leaving her behind.

But it was no matter, she hastily thought, before the ugly feeling in the pit of her stomach could rear its head. She had father. Father was the only one who ever truly understood her. Why would she ever need anyone else?

She didn't. She _wouldn't_. She wasn't _weak_, after all. Not like poor Zuzu, still chasing after their mother's shadow, even after all this time. If only he had strove to be more like their father, this would have never happened. Who even cared about a bunch of new recruits getting killed if it meant ensuring their nation's victory? Those soldiers should be _glad _to die for the glory of their country.

But apparently, her brother didn't see it that way.

"Stupid Zuzu," Azula muttered underneath her breath, her gaze not leaving the one patch of wall, "-I hope it was worth it."

* * *

Iroh could only heave a sigh as he left his niece's chambers. He had not been hoping for much, but it would seem that Ozai's influence on the child ran even deeper than he feared. He was going to have his work cut out for him.

Still, he thought to himself, making his way through the halls of the royal palace, it was no longer something he could turn a blind eye to, as he had for so long. Something had to be done.

Something should have been done a long time ago, if he were being honest. He never should have allowed Ozai to take his throne, but he had been too overcome by grief at the loss of his only son to do anything to stop him. Now the world was paying the price for his inaction- and not only it, but Ozai's own children as well. His eldest had been scarred and banished, and his youngest...

...if no one stopped it, Azula really would become just like her father.

Iroh paused, looking up. His feet had brought him to the Hall of Portraits, his brother's image looming large above him. Narrowing his eyes, he felt his stomach clench at the sight of it. It was a fine artist indeed that his brother had commissioned- they had captured everything perfectly, right down to the cruelty in his eyes.

A cruelty he saw mirrored back in Azula's.

Yes, something had to be done, Iroh thought. He had been away from the Fire Nation for far too long. It was time he stayed. He would not give up on his search for his nephew, but he could not abandon his niece either.

Not to Ozai.


	5. lying is just chronic acting

Fun fact: there was actually an entirely different version of this chapter that I was going to post first, but after going to edit it, I decided I didn't like it, so I scrapped and rewrote the entire thing. Writing adventures! Anyways, that said, please enjoy this next installment! Next entry shall be from Toph's POV, so look forward to that!

I'm not *quite* sure how much I'll write for this pre-canon timeline before I get to the Gaang stuff, but I do have a couple more things planned before we hit that. Toph and Zuko going to their first Earth Rumble, Toph _fighting_ in her first Earth Rumble, birthdays, Zuko has to meet June at some point because of Plot, there's A Thing with Azula that I won't spoil, but hopefully we'll get there before long bc I'm just as excited to tell that part of the story as I am this one.

As always, thanks for reading!

* * *

**kintsugi**

**lying is just chronic acting**

* * *

In spite of everything that had happened, he still rose with the sun.

His inner flame flickered, rousing him from unconsciousness. He groaned, pushing himself up into a sitting position. After that night, he'd gone back to sleeping poorly again. He'd both kind of expected it and yet was still somehow disappointed by that fact. Insomnia had become a constant companion of his ever since his mother had left, so the idea that he could fall back into sleeping through the night just like that just didn't seem realistic.

The nightmares could only stay away for so long.

Last night's had been... different, but all the more unsettling for it. He could barely remember its contents now, but he knew that his sister had been there, watching him, a smile on her face. So had Toph, but the blind girl wasn't looking at him- instead, her back was turned.

It felt like a rejection.

Drawing in a deep breath, Zuko closed his eyes, letting himself feel the sun. Over the course of the past few months, he'd slowly let himself fall back into the habit of daily sunrise meditations. He wished he could do it outside, where he could feel the sun's rays on his skin, but he knew that was a risk he couldn't afford to take. He couldn't let anyone find out that he was actually a firebender.

Even if he _still _wasn't able to bend any fire. If he concentrated, he could sort of manage _heat_, but actual _flames _still eluded him. Every time he came close, he just... chickened out and ended up with nothing more than a puff of smoke.

It didn't stop him from trying, though. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to use his firebending for combat again, but it would be nice if he could at least start a fire without having to use spark rocks or a match.

It would also be nice if he could handle even _that _much without sometimes flinching.

Thankfully, it being the height of summer now, there wasn't much use for fires, even if the summers in Gaoling paled in comparison the summers back in the Fire Nation. Ember Island would have been nearly twice as hot around this time of year. Thinking about his family's beach house made him think of better times- back when his family had actually been _happy_, however fleeting that had been.

Thinking back on those times now though, he wondered if his father had _ever _loved him, or if he'd just put up with him. He wondered what had made him stop.

Azula, he thought. Azula had bent blue fire, and then...

Letting out a frustrated huff, Zuko opened his eyes. Somehow he didn't think he'd get much meditation done today.

Hauling himself to his feet, Zuko grabbed his little basket of toiletries. The halls were still empty and thankfully, so were the communal baths. He still wasn't fully comfortable with them, too used to having his own private washroom for much of his life. Washing himself as quickly as possible, he changed his clothes just as quickly, donning the deep green robes that had been gifted to him by Poppy.

He'd gotten used to wearing green.

"Early as ever, Li."

He'd gotten used to being called that too.

His hands froze in the middle of wrapping his wrists, glancing over towards the door with his good eye. He winced when he realized it was his room neighbor, recognizing that frankly unflattering mustache quicker than he did anything else. He'd since learned that the man's name was _Yun_, and that he was in charge of serving the Beifong family their daily tea.

No wonder he always smelled faintly of jasmine. In an odd way, it made him think of his uncle.

He wondered what the old man was doing right about now.

"Sorry," Zuko said, "-I didn't mean to wake you."

"You?" Yun snorted. "You're as quiet as a rabbit-mouse. I don't think you could wake me if you tried."

"Oh." Zuko frowned. "Well, that's... good then?"

"Personally I'd prefer it if you stomped around a bit more." Yun observed, setting his own basket down, but thankfully choosing to _not _disrobe yet. "You're what, fourteen?"

"Thirteen." Zuko corrected. He wouldn't be fourteen for another couple of months.

(He'd been born in the dead of winter. A bad sign, by Fire Nation standards.)

"Thirteen." Yun said, shaking his head. "That's too young to be feeling like you have to sneak around everywhere. _Relax_, kid. No one here is going to hurt you."

Zuko ducked his head, disguising it as a nod. He knew that wasn't true, but he couldn't exactly say that. While no one here might have cause to hurt Li, he _wasn't _Li. Maybe he'd gotten used to the name, but it didn't change the fact that he'd once been Zuko, the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and that fact would never change.

He could never be Li. Not really.

"Ah, go on." Yun said after a moment. "I know Miyuki's got you down for breakfast duty today. Just try and remember that eggshells don't go _in _the egg dishes this time."

Zuko winced, recalling all too clearly the first time he'd been allowed to actually _cook_. He'd been proud of the fact that he'd managed not to burn anything, but nobody had told him that he was supposed to pick out the stray bits of eggshell. Thankfully, the other servants had handled his misstep with humor- one had even downed the entire plate anyways and then asked for an extra helping of the _crunchy eggs_.

He was positive now that most of them had realized he was a noble- or well, that he _had _been. He had no claim to nobility now, especially not here, deep in the Earth Kingdom.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind." Zuko said, before hastily taking his leave.

He briefly went back to his room to put down his basket, and to grab his knife, sheathing the blade back into his boot. He would leave his dao here until it was time to actually go to work, but there was still something comforting about having the steel on him, even in a place that was supposedly safe.

Well. Safe for _Li_, at least.

Thankfully, he wasn't assigned any actual cooking tasks today either. Old Lady An had given him _that look_, and had then handed him a bowl with a firm instruction to start mixing. He'd done so without compliant, eyeing the cooking fire somewhat warily. Today wasn't a good day, he decided, if that small amount of fire was making him feel so anxious.

Normally he was better about this. Normally he had to actually _make _the fire to be worried about it- whether that meant creating it by actually firebending (not that he even _could_) or by using more mundane methods. External fires had made him fearful too at first, but he'd very slowly started to get over it. Normally it wasn't even a problem, but today he found that he wasn't comfortable letting the blaze out of his sight.

Old Lady An angled her body in such a way that he could. Normally he would be embarrassed about how obvious his own fear was, but right now he could only be grateful. After all, it wasn't like it was hard to tell that he might have a problem with fire- not when the very source of his phobia was permanently burned into his face.

Afraid of it or not, he could still feel the fire, ready and waiting for him to take control of it. He made sure to keep his breathing as calm and level as possible, not wanting to scorch everyone's food- or worse. Admittedly, it would be pretty hard to set the stone kitchen on fire, though not impossible.

Once he was done mixing- a fact he determined only by Old Lady An taking the mixing bowl from him- she had him move on to fetching water from the well outside. It was hard work, but he did it without compliant- he'd begun to recover from those four months he'd spent half-starving himself in the wilderness.

He looked... _better_, he guessed. His scar was still raw and ugly, but not quite as raw and ugly as it had been, and his hair was still a scruffy mess. It refused to grow where he'd been burned- he'd since resigned himself to only having the one eyebrow. But at least his ribs weren't quite so prominent anymore, his cheeks not as sallow.

He didn't look _starved_.

He still didn't look like himself, but he looked like... well, he looked like _Li_, he guessed. Li, the Earth Kingdom refugee, a nonbender who worked in the service of the Beifong family.

Toph's best friend.

He smiled at the thought of the little earthbender. He still hadn't been successful in his attempts to catch her in the forest, but far from giving up, he'd redoubled his efforts. He had memorized the map of the area he'd been given, and on more than one occasion had spent his breaks wandering the area, mapping the landmarks of the forest in his mind. He'd gotten better at navigating in the dark, without the aid of a fire, though he still struggled when the moon was absent from the sky.

Darkness didn't matter squat to Toph, of course.

He still hadn't figured out how it was that she seemed to be able to see despite being blind, but he bet it had _something _to do with earthbending. It was obvious even to him that she was way beyond the skill level Master Yu taught her at. He was surprised to discover that he even taught her any actual earthbending at all, but apparently, he did. Once a month, he would run Toph through a series of basic stances- _baby steps_, Toph had called them afterwards when no one but him was around to hear her gripe.

He had to wonder what she did before he came along.

Granted, his knowledge about earthbending was pretty limited. They'd never taught him anything about the other three elements at the royal palace- he'd gotten a brief overview, and that was it. Why would they, when everyone in the Fire Nation assumed that they were weaker and inferior to firebending? Maybe if he'd stuck around long enough to get proper military training, he would have learned more about how to defend himself from earth and waterbending, but that was it.

But if Toph could somehow see using it, then clearly earthbending was so much more than just fire's inferior element, barely even worth mentioning. Not that he even _thought _that anymore, not after everything he'd seen and experienced. So much of what had been taught to him was lies- why should this be any different?

Sometimes it was hard to reconcile just how _much _of his childhood had been made up of lies. No wonder Azula had turned into a liar- she'd always been good at playing the game she was given. If everyone around her was lying, it was only natural that she wanted to be the best at that too.

But then, was he really any better? He was lying to all these people, lying to _Toph_. They were so kind to him, and he was taking advantage of it, exploiting their generosity by pretending he was Earth Kingdom, by pretending that he was a harmless non-bending refugee running from the war, not the exiled prince of the Fire Nation.

He was a liar, just like Azula.

The thought sat like a stone in his stomach all throughout the morning meal. Even though he had just recently started sitting with the other servants- at the very end of the table, but still- he chose to sit away from them this time, back on the window ledge he'd eaten his first meal here on. Nobody stopped him- if there was one thing people around here were good at, it was giving him his space when he needed it.

They all thought he'd been traumatized by the war.

When he'd first arrived here, he'd thought Gaoling was unaffected by the war. In hindsight, it had been a stupid thing to think- _of course_ it wasn't. Just because it didn't show any of the physical signs of it, didn't mean it wasn't. Nowhere in the Earth Kingdom was safe, not even Ba Sing Se- his uncle had proven that much, even if he'd ultimately failed.

He was almost _grateful _for that failure now. The thought twisted at his gut, knowing all too well exactly what it was that had caused his uncle to call of the siege. Uncle was the one person who had looked out for him since his mother had left. How could he possibly be grateful for his son's death?

Nearly everyone at the table had been effected by the war in some way. Yun had lost a cousin, a talented young earthbender whose real passion had been pottery, not fighting, and Old Lady An had lost two grandsons, plus a niece who had been taken in the night. Miyuki, the head servant, had still been a little girl when the Fire Nation army raided her town, and sometimes she still trembled when she smelled unexpected smoke.

He still didn't know what had happened to Xia Su's leg, but he didn't doubt it was related to the war too.

He wondered sometimes what they saw when they looked at his scarred, golden-eyed face. If it was true that none of them recognized that he was Fire Nation.

_Yang _did. His expression turned sour as he thought about the guard. So far he'd somehow managed to avoid any real confrontation with him, but he wasn't sure how long that would last, just like he wasn't sure how long he could keep pretending he was Earth Kingdom. He knew he should start thinking up some kind of cover story in the event that it happened, but he'd never been able to bring himself to do it. It was bad enough that he was already lying to these people, he didn't want to further that lie.

If they found out, he'd probably be better off leaving anyways. Nobody wanted the Fire Nation around- especially not a _firebender_.

"Hey," Xia Su called out to him once the meal was done, right before he was about to leave, "-are you okay?"

"Yeah," Zuko lied, "-I'm fine."

He was already lying to everyone. What was one more?

* * *

"_Li_."

Gritting his teeth, Zuko fought the urge to reach for his swords. Instead he let out a very slow, highly regulated breath, grateful that there were no flames nearby to react to the subtle form of firebending.

"What do you want, Yang?" Li asked, lifting his head to look at the guardsman. He was already in a weird mood- talking to Yang was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

"That's _Guardsman _Yang to you, kid." Yang said. The burly earthbender drew forward, looming over him with every inch his massive height gave to him.

Zuko wasn't intimidated.

"Nobody calls you that." Zuko pointed out instead, lifting his chin in a vain attempt to make himself look taller. He knew was decently tall for a thirteen year old, but he still had a lot of growing to do before he could even hope to catch up to an adult man, nevermind someone as freakishly tall as Yang.

Not that he'd even want to be _that _tall. That just seemed inconvenient.

"You've got a real lack of respect, you know that, kid?" Yang asked.

_Maybe there's nothing __**to **__respect_, Zuko wanted to shoot back, but somehow managed to stop himself. If it involved literally biting down on his tongue, nobody had to know.

"Can we just make this quick?" Zuko asked. "I'm supposed to escort Toph to the garden room for her morning meal. I don't want to be late."

If he was going to be a servant, he was at least going to be _good _at it. Toph's father valued punctuality. He was going to be on time.

Yang frowned. "You refer to the young lady real informally."

"If you've got a problem with that, you should take it up with her." Zuko challenged. "_She's _the one who told me to."

Yang didn't seem to have an argument to that, so instead he changed the topic. "Heard the Fire Nation made another failed attempt to take Omashu."

Right. He should have known. He _seriously _wasn't in the mood to deal with this.

"So?" Zuko asked. "I don't see what that has to do with me. I've never been to Omashu."

"Just thought you might find it interesting." Yang said, smirking like he'd somehow won. Unlike the clear rules his game with Toph had, he had no idea what the rules to Yang's game were. It was like trying to learn Pai Sho from Uncle, but instead of just telling him the rules, he expressed them through _proverbs_.

Then again, in Yang's case, he was probably just too stupid for rules.

"You're right." Zuko said. "I do."

"Oh, you do, do you?" Yang asked, looking almost insufferably smug.

"Yeah." Zuko said, locking eyes with him, putting everything he could muster into his glare. "It's always nice to know when the Fire Nation loses."

_That _wiped the smug look off of Yang's face. Whatever response he was expecting, it wasn't that. He didn't know why not- he didn't want people to know he was Fire Nation, least of all _Yang_. Of course he wasn't going to say that he was disappointed that they'd lost.

He wasn't even disappointed! He hadn't been lying when he said he was _glad _the Fire Nation lost. Omashu was one of the Earth Kingdom's last two strongholds- it falling would mean only Ba Sing Se was left.

He just... he just hoped it had been a loss with as few casualties as possible, on both sides. Enough blood had been spilled during this war already.

Finally, Yang broke eye contact. "I'm still keeping an eye on you, kid."

"I thought your job was to guard the house, not watch the servants." Zuko said.

Yang just sneered. "We both know you're no servant, _Li_."

Biting down on his tongue again, Zuko took in a deep breath. He was done with this conversation. Brushing past Yang, the bulky guard made no move to stop him. Part of him was grateful- he wasn't sure what he would have done if the man had laid a hand on him.

Part of him almost _wanted _him to, just so he could finally put the jerk in his place. Whether that involved taking him down with his blades, or somehow getting his firebending back out of pure _spite_, he wasn't sure. He just wanted it.

But no, he couldn't do that. He was trying to _avoid _confrontations with Yang, not make them any worse- which attacking him would definitely do, even if it _wasn't _with firebending. He doubted he'd ever win over his trust, but at the very least, he didn't want to give him any further reasons not to trust him.

What did he even think he was going to do, kidnap Toph? What would the Fire Nation even _do _with her? It wasn't like they needed the money. His father's war machine practically funded itself.

Huffing, he stormed down the hall, just barely managing to compose himself in time to greet Toph. She cast a suspicious glance towards him, but they were already short on time as it was thanks to Yang's... _interruption_. With any luck, she'd leave it.

(But then, he never did have any luck.)

* * *

Once the morning meal was over, Zuko had lead Toph back to her own chambers. He'd barely said two words to her before she ordered him to sit his butt down before she _dragged _it down.

(Her words, not his.)

Not having it in him to protest, Zuko did just that, sitting crosslegged some distance away from her. That apparently wasn't good enough, because the Beifong heiress stood up and marched right over to him, plopping down right in front of him.

"Even _I _can tell you look like a wreck today, Scruffy," she began, "-and I'm _blind_."

The blind joke still somehow managed to make him smile, despite his sour mood. Toph had a way of doing that.

"I look _fine_." Zuko protested, though there was no actual venom in his tone. "You just need to get your eyes checked."

Toph _beamed_\- that wide, tooth baring smile she only showed when they were alone together. The one no one else got to see.

Somehow that only made him feel _more _guilty.

"Wow, Scruffy," she said, "-and here I didn't know you could be _funny_."

"You spent like, three minutes cackling at me in the forest when I ran into that tree branch." Zuko pointed out, his hand straying up to his forehead. He'd had a bruise for _days _afterwards. "I could hear you the entire time."

"Yeah, and you sulked about it for like, _three days_." Toph said. "Jokes have to be intentional. That was physical comedy."

Zuko just grumbled, dropping his hand from his forehead. "It hurt."

"That's what you get for having a delicate baby forehead." Toph shrugged.

"I don't have a-!" Zuko began, before he choked back his own protest, instead settling for quietly glaring at Toph. It didn't do any good, but that didn't stop him.

"Hey, it's okay." Toph said. "Not everyone can be as rock solid as I am."

Zuko snorted. "You weigh about as much as wet poodle-monkey does."

Toph's grin turned almost wicked. "Oh, you think I'm just going to take that from the _walking beanpole_, huh?"

"I know you won't." Zuko said, the edges of his lips curling upwards in a grin. Toph was nothing if not infectious. "But there's nothing you can do about it _here_."

Toph went silent for a good moment- before she cackled, almost with glee. "Oh, you're _on_."

"Looking forward to it." Zuko said, for a second all but forgetting what had put him in such a mood in the first place.

It came crashing back quickly, causing him to almost deflate. Right. No matter how friendly he acted with Toph, it didn't change the fact that he was lying to her. They were supposed to be _friends_, and she didn't even know his real name. He might not be an expert on friendships, but he was pretty sure that wasn't how they were supposed to work.

And he... he wanted to be friends with Toph. He hadn't been certain, not at first, but the more he got to know her, the more positive he was that he did. He could see himself in the stubborn little earthbender, and talking to her... it was fun. Being around Toph made him feel _happy_, and he hadn't felt happy in a long time.

Toph's mouth screwed into a frown. "Wow, you're _really _in a bad mood today, Scruffy."

"I don't want to talk about it." Zuko mumbled, staring at the ground, all earlier mirth faded.

"Suit yourself." Toph shrugged. "I'm not good with that emotional stuff anyways."

Zuko shot her a grateful smile, even if she couldn't see it. He wondered if he _could _tell Toph, before he quickly dismissed it. No matter how easy their friendship seemed, it was all entirely based on the assumption that he was Earth Kingdom. If she knew he was Fire Nation...

_(She turned her back on him.)_

Gritting his teeth, he clenched his fists. Why _couldn't _he be Earth Kingdom? Maybe then he would have had a father who loved him, a sister who wasn't crazy, and mother who actually bothered to stick around. Maybe he wouldn't have been branded and banished, left to wander enemy territory and lie to nice girls who just wanted to be his friend.

No sooner than he thought that, did his stomach twist in shame. He didn't think his mother would like it if she knew he was ashamed of being Fire Nation. Of being a firebender.

But with everything he'd seen, it was hard _not _to be.

"Hey," Toph's voice was sharp, drawing him out of himself, "-Li. Stop."

He flinched at the sound of his fake name, the sound of it like a stab to the heart. _That's not my name_ was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. If she knew... if Toph knew, it would all be over. They couldn't be friends anymore. She'd _hate _him.

Agni help him, he didn't want that.

"_Hey_."

Just like that, Toph's hands were over his own. Toph _never _touched him, outside of that first day where she'd dragged him by the wrist. He flinched, but didn't pull his hands away even though he desperately wanted to. The earthbender just frowned, taking his clenched fists by the wrists, turning them over so she could press her palms against his. He sagged a bit at the touch, realizing abruptly that it had been _months _since he'd let anyone touch him. Every time they did, it just brought back memories of his father, of his burning hand caressing his cheek, of the scent of melting flesh and burning hair...

But Toph didn't.

Her hands were surprisingly delicate, where his weren't. Years of practice with the dual dao had left calluses, and months of being away from the royal palace had left his hands rough and dry. There was dirt underneath his fingernails that he'd never quite managed to figure out how to get rid of without a servant doing it for him. He hadn't had the nerve to ask anyone how to yet.

Toph's soft, uncalloused palms pressed up against his felt almost _reassuring_.

"This isn't just a mood, is it?" Toph asked.

"I thought you said you didn't do emotional stuff." Zuko replied numbly.

"I don't." Toph said. "But this seems pretty important. And you're my friend."

"It's-"

Toph cut him off. "If you say _it's nothing_, I'm making my next pit trap extra deep."

"I'm not falling for another one of your stupid pit traps." Zuko mumbled. "That was only the one time."

"Funny." Toph said. "That's not how _I _remember it."

"Yeah, well you remembered wrong." Zuko said, still not quite looking at her.

"Nope, don't think I did." Toph said. "But seriously, stop changing the subject. What's wrong?"

"_You're _the one who brought up the pit traps." Zuko pointed out, before heaving a sigh. He didn't want to talk about this, especially not with Toph. Telling her would be the same as effectively ending their friendship.

Why would anyone want to be friends with a _liar_?

(Mai and Ty Lee were friends with Azula, but he didn't... he didn't want that kind of friendship for himself. It wasn't _right_.)

"I," Zuko found himself saying anyways, his own stupid mouth betraying him, "-I'm not- my name isn't _Li_."

To his surprise, Toph just snorted, her lips twitching into a grin. "No, really? I never would have guessed."

In spite of himself, Zuko felt himself bristle. She was acting like this was some kind of _joke_. "Hey, this is serious! I-"

"I already _know _that, stupid." Toph cut him off. "I've known from the start that you've been lying your butt off."

Zuko slammed his mouth shut, staring at Toph in confusion. "You- _how?_"

"Trade secret. Can't tell you." Toph smirked. "Anyways, the point is if you're feeling guilty about lying to me, don't. I already know, and I don't care, so worrying about it is stupid."

Zuko swallowed, staring at the girl like she'd just grown another head. She might as well have. That wasn't what he'd expected her to say _at all_.

"How much," he hesitated, anxiously wetting his lips, "-how much do you know?"

Toph arched a brow. "I just said I knew that you were lying. I didn't say anything about knowing the truth."

To his surprise, he almost felt _relieved_. She didn't know who he was. They could still be friends. She wouldn't turn her back on him, like in that damn _dream_-

That stupid _dream_! _That _was the reason he'd been feeling so off today, wasn't it? All because he'd had a stupid _nightmare_. He had nightmares all the time! Why was this one getting to him so much?

And how pathetic was he, to get so hung up over a nightmare in the first place? _Azula _didn't have nightmares. But then, Azula didn't seem to have a conscience, and neither did their father. His father- _Ozai _would have said it was a sign of weakness.

He was starting to think otherwise.

"How can you," Zuko began, hating how _small _his voice sounded, "-how can you be okay with that? I've been lying to you all this time. We're supposed to be _friends_."

He winced almost immediately, realizing with a sudden clarity that he'd walked into some kind of trap. He didn't know _how_, but that slowly spreading gleeful smile on Toph's face was proof enough that he had.

"So you _do _think we're friends." She finally said.

Oh. _Oh_, he hadn't thought about it before, but he'd never... he might have begrudgingly agreed that they were friends that one time, but he'd never come out and said it.

"I- look, that isn't the point." Zuko said, glowering at her uselessly. "I'm _lying_. I'm a _liar_. You don't even know my real name! Shouldn't you be more upset?"

"Nah." Toph shrugged. "I don't need to know your name to know who you are."

"But you don't know anything about me!" Zuko protested.

"I know that when you look at me, you actually _see _me." Toph said. "You don't just see a helpless blind girl who needs to be protected. You see _me_."

"I'm not who you think I am." Zuko insisted. "If you knew, you'd-"

"What, stop being friends with you?" Toph snorted. "I'll be the judge of that, Scruffy. Besides, you can't fake your whole personality."

Zuko opened his mouth to say something to that, but couldn't think of a single protest. Still, it didn't feel like it should be that simple, not when what he was hiding was so big.

"How do you know you can trust me?" Zuko finally asked.

Something in Toph's expression shifted into an emotion he couldn't quite place. "You told me the reason you couldn't go home was because of your father. That he _hurt _you."

Zuko said nothing, just ducked his head. There was no reason to. Toph couldn't see his face, nor the ugly scar that stretched across the left half of it. Even if she could, it still would have been a pointless action- he just didn't have enough hair to cover the scar. It was growing back steadily, but it would still be awhile yet before he got anywhere near close to having hair long enough for bangs.

"What about it?" Zuko asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I know you weren't lying about that part." Toph told him. "I can't think of a truth more painful than that, and you still told me."

Zuko swallowed, wondering if that was really true. His father had wanted him gone. Wasn't that an even worse truth than the fact that he had burned him?

"It's my fault." Zuko said before he could stop himself. "I refused to fight him."

Toph narrowed her eyes. "That doesn't make any sense. Why would your father want to _fight _you?"

Zuko chewed on his lip, wondering why he'd even told her that. But he'd already said it, so... he might as well finish the story, he guessed.

"Because I disrespected him." Zuko told her, purposefully leaving his words vague. "I spoke out when I wasn't supposed to. And I did it in front of an important audience."

"So he challenged you to a fight?" Toph asked.

"I- no. Or at least, I didn't think he did, not at first." Zuko admitted. "I thought it was the person I had spoken out against, but it wasn't. It was him."

"He didn't even _tell _you?" Toph asked in disbelief. "That's messed up, Scruffy."

"Yeah, it _is _kind of messed up." Zuko felt almost distant as he agreed, his mind half back in the Agni Kai chamber. Only Toph's steady grip kept him from going there entirely, rooting him to the present. "I realize that now. But back then, all I could think of was how much I didn't want to fight him. So I begged, I pleaded, and he-"

He drew his hand away from Toph's own, touching his scar. He couldn't bring himself to say that he'd burned him. It would have made it way too obvious that his father, at least, had been a firebender. And while there was a huge jump between that and _Fire Lord_, he still felt like he'd said too much already.

But Toph said she trusted him. She knew he was a liar, and she still trusted him. Still thought of him as her _friend_.

Toph held up a hand, the one he'd let go of, letting it hover by his face. "Can I touch it?"

Zuko swallowed, then shook his head before quickly realizing that she couldn't see that. "No. Sorry, I don't think- I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

Toph dropped her hand, but didn't move her other, her soft palm still pressed up against his. She had cold hands, not like his, sun warm and capable of handling intense flames without burning.

If only the rest of him were so lucky.

"You know," Toph said after a moment of consideration, "-_I'm _a liar too."

He blinked, taken aback by the sudden statement. That... was actually true, wasn't it? Toph was lying just as much as he was, pretending to be someone she wasn't. While she wasn't lying about her name or her background, she was putting on a character in front of her parents, the guards- everyone that wasn't him, really.

Only around him, the _liar_, did she feel safe enough to let her character drop.

"That's different. You're _acting_, not lying." Zuko said with a slight huff. "The only reason you have to hide anything is because your parents are blinder than you are."

Toph cackled. "Wow, two jokes in one day. That's a new record."

"Yeah, well maybe you're rubbing off on me." Zuko muttered, trying to pretend the corner of his lips weren't currently trying to curl up into a smile.

"You make it sound like a _bad _thing." Toph said. "My sense of humor is top notch. You're learning from the best, Scruffy."

"Good to know." Zuko remarked dryly. "Anyways, _now _who's changing the subject?"

Toph just grinned. "Didn't know there was anything left to discuss. You're a liar and I'm acting my butt off. What's left?"

"The truth?" Zuko offered helplessly.

Toph's grin turned into a smirk, a glint that was becoming increasingly familiar to him in her milky eyes. "What, you think you're going to get me to spill all my secrets just by _asking_? And here I thought you were going to show me how much of a wet poodle-monkey I am. Don't tell me you've turned pig-chicken."

Zuko bristled at the accusation, narrowing his eyes. "I'm not pig-chicken!"

"And that's not what I meant," he added, deflating slightly, "-I meant _me_."

"Eh," Toph shrugged, "-you can tell me when you're ready."

Zuko just stared at her, searching her face for any hint of a lie- but found none. Toph really didn't care, which wasn't how he thought this conversation was going to go _at all_. He'd thought... well, he'd thought things would have turned out much worse, and that he would have blurted out something he couldn't take back, or that just the fact that he had been lying to her would have been enough for her to turn cold towards him.

But she just... didn't care. It didn't _matter_.

He still didn't think it should be that simple, but it wasn't like he could _make _Toph care. Something told him that he could blurt out the truth, the whole truth right here and now, and Toph would take it in without even so much as batting an eye.

He wasn't going to, though. He wasn't ready yet.

Exhaling, Zuko felt his tension slip away. Toph not caring might not solve the problem that he was still lying to everyone else, but it made the burden easier to bear.

"Okay." Zuko breathed. "Okay."

Toph beamed, giving his hand a quick squeeze, before she finally pulled hers away. He nearly reached out to stop her, but couldn't bring himself to. It felt like too much, too soon.

"Now that _that's _settled," Toph went on to say, "-I look forward to seeing exactly how you plan on showing me up, Scruffy."

Zuko winced. Oh. Right. He had promised that, hadn't he? Crap. He didn't actually _have _a plan to show Toph up, he'd just blurted that out in the heat of the moment.

But he couldn't let _Toph _know that.

"Just wait." Zuko said, trying to exude confidence. "The next time you go to play in the woods, I'll make you tell me _your _secrets."

He didn't need Toph's cackle to know that she knew he was lying.

You know what? Just for that, he was actually going to do it. Mark his words- he was going to catch Toph Beifong.


	6. acting is just lying as a lifestyle choi

And here we are, Toph's POV! Fortunately there were no massive rewrites needed this time, always a plus. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter! Coming up next, Toph and Zuko become sparring buddies, go watch a Rumble, and try to overcome certain bending-related fears.

Love these kids... they're doing alright.

* * *

**kintsugi**

**acting is just lying as a lifestyle choice**

* * *

There were _some _benefits to having servants, Toph had long since decided.

Let it be known that she'd never exactly been a morning person. One could argue that her late nights spent earthbending in secret probably didn't help much, but she knew that regardless of whether she'd spent half the night perfecting her bending or not, she'd still wake up the next morning bleary-eyed and almost dead to the world. Granted, she could wake up early if she wanted to- but the emphasis here was on _if she wanted to_.

Most of the time, that answer was _no_.

So yeah. There was something to be said for servants who would help wash and dress her while she was still half-dead to the world. It made things so much easier.

(Just for the record, she could totally do all this stuff by herself. She just chose not to.)

"There you are, young miss. All ready."

Toph fought the urge to yawn. Honestly, given the choice, she'd rather go back to sleep. But if there was one thing her parents were attempting to drill into her, it was punctuality.

Besides, it would be rude to keep Scruffy waiting. She could sense him just outside the door, his arms crossed in front of him as he leaned against the wall. He didn't seem as stiff as he did yesterday, so maybe their little talk had done him some good after all.

Either that, or he'd managed to avoid running into Yang today. She would have thought the guy would have given up eventually- it had been a few months since Li had been hired as her bodyguard. But apparently for all his lackluster skills, Yang at least had the stubbornness of a proper earthbender.

Shame he wasted it on harassing kids. She'd say the guy should get a hobby, but she was starting to suspect antagonizing Li _was _his hobby.

Toph inclined her head slightly in acknowledgement. "Thank you. You are dismissed."

The trio of servants bowed, swiftly leaving. She could hear one of them exchanging a brief word with Li, presumably telling him that it was safe to go in now. Shifting her feet slightly, she felt him bow his head in acknowledgment, waiting for the servants to properly leave before he entered.

"Well _someone's _looking better." Toph beamed as he came in.

She could practically feel the look Li shot her, which just made her grin grow all the wider. "You didn't show up last night."

"I was trying to let you sleep." Toph said, then paused, only a little annoyed that he'd avoided her trap. "Wait- don't tell me you waited up for me all night?"

"No!" Li said quickly- _too _quickly. "Just some of it."

"Some of it." Toph repeated. Come to think of it, Li was pretty much always awake whenever she chose to sneak out. It wasn't even like she had a set schedule or anything- everything was decided by her whims. "You know, I've been meaning to ask you about your sleeping habits. When do you even do it?"

"I sleep." Li said, almost defensively, before deflating slightly. "Sometimes."

"You know, I'm starting to think you might have some bad habits." Toph remarked.

Li just huffed, almost indignant. "I don't want to hear that from someone who refuses to wash her feet unless her servants make her."

Toph grumbled, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Look, you'd understand it if you were an earthbender. And how do you even _know _that?"

Li just shrugged, but she swore she could feel him smirk. "Servants talk."

"Oh they do, do they?" Toph asked, arching her brows. "Tell me more."

"I could," Li said, "-but then you'd be late for your morning meal with your _honored parents_."

Toph just snorted, the edge of her lips curling upwards. "Right. Because I'd hate to miss that."

"You'd miss the food." Li said.

Letting out a bark of laughter, Toph nudged Li with her elbow, taking great pains to telegraph the movement as much as she was capable of. His breath didn't hitch in that weird way it always did when someone got too close to him, for which she was grateful. Instead he just rubbed where she'd hit him, muttering something about _bony elbows_ under his breath.

Something had shifted yesterday- or started to. The walls that had guarded Li since the moment she'd met him had shown their first signs of cracking. For all her earthbending prowess, they had shown themselves to be a tough challenger. Creating cracks where she could was about all she could manage. He must have had them up for a long time- probably longer than he'd had whatever injury it was that deformed the left side of his face so badly. She'd obviously never seen it, but Li was right about one thing- servants talked.

And apparently, so did everyone else. Because if she was being perfectly honest, it seemed like it was the servants from whom she heard the _least _amount of chatter about whatever it was that was apparently wrong with Li's face. There were a few, but they were more hushed conversations as to whether or not he'd accept a gift of medicinal cream, or if he'd just take it the wrong way.

That was where she'd first concluded that whatever had happened to him, it had been recent. And from there, when he'd started talking about his father, and how he was the reason he was never allowed to return home... somehow, she'd just connected the dots.

She couldn't imagine what that was like- to have a father hurt you like that. Not when her own father was so afraid of hurting her that he barely even touched her. But Li's had- and badly, from the sound of it. While she'd never heard any actual specifics, she knew that it was bad- enough to leave his face deformed.

_"Always such a pity,"_ she'd caught one of her mother's friends whisper the first time she'd laid eyes on Li, _"-to see such a handsome young face destroyed like that. He could have been something."_

_"It must have been the will of the Spirits that brought him here." _Her mother had said in reply. _"Toph will never know the difference."_

The worst part, Toph thought, was how they talked about him like he wasn't even there. Like he couldn't hear them. But he wasn't deaf, no matter how badly his injury had impacted the hearing in his left ear. She could feel the way he would grow stiff, how he would clench his fists but force himself not to say anything.

She knew exactly what that felt like. It _sucked_.

He'd already been chased out of his home by his own father, who from the sound of it, was a massive jerk. Who challenged their own thirteen year old son to a serious fight just because he'd spoken when he wasn't supposed to and then went on to _permanently maim him_? What kind of parent did _that_?

She might have some issues with her own parents, but at least she knew they loved her. But Li's father? She'd be surprised if he'd _ever _cared about his kid.

Still, she was glad that he seemed to be feeling better. It had been pretty bad yesterday.

"You're right." Toph said. "I would. Now come on. We wouldn't want to be late."

Li gave her that awkward little half-bow of his, the one he always pulled whenever he wasn't being serious about it. "Of course. Right this way, Lady Beifong."

Toph snickered, but the moment her feet crossed over the threshold of her room, her expression transformed into one that was perfectly neutral. Li had been right about one thing yesterday- she _was _an actor, and the rest of the manor was her stage. She wished she didn't have to be- that one day her parents would wake up and see her for who she really was, not who they expected her to be because of her blindness.

But even though she knew her parents loved her, it was that same love that blinded them to the truth. She knew all too well that they both thought they were doing the right thing by keeping her isolated from the world, locked up inside her own home- and she'd also learned that this was one fight that she couldn't win.

Not yet, anyways.

One day, Toph thought, stiffly greeting her parents as she entered the dining room, -one day, she would find a way out of this place.

And when she did, she'd be bringing Li with her.

* * *

"Now, slowly breathe out."

Toph wanted to _scream_, not exhale. But it was a feeling that she was used to, so she forced herself to do as she was instructed instead, slowly breathing out. One of these days, she was going to bury Master Yu in a pile of dirt. She'd like to see him earthbend his way out of _that_.

"Good." Master Yu said, having the audacity to sound _pleased_, like he wasn't teaching her the most basic things in the whole spirit-damned world over and over again. A _two year old_ could do this. "You are making excellent progress, Toph."

_What progress_, she wanted to scream. Li's badly muffled snort from the corner of the room was the only thing that stopped her from doing so. True to his promise to her, he typically spent the entirety of her earthbending lessons lurking in the corner, glaring at the back of Master Yu's head. It had been months, and her so-called earthbending master _still _wasn't used to it. Feeling the way his heartbeat would hasten whenever he caught sight of Li almost made sitting through his boring lessons worth it.

_Almost_.

Which wasn't to say he didn't attempt to occasionally grow a back bone. He'd be a pretty pathetic excuse for an adult if he didn't. Judging from the way his spine stiffened at the sound of Li's snort, he was about to.

"Young man," Master Yu began, his efforts to sound as stern as possible hampered by his less than calm heartbeat, "-I do not think there is anything here to laugh about. Toph is working very hard in spite of her disability."

Toph nearly choked. He thought Li was laughing at her about _that_?

There was a long pause there that told her that Li was staring rather than replying. Finally, he lifted his hand, placing it lightly over the left side of his face.

"You think _I'm _laughing at _her_?"

Yu flinched. _Badly_.

"Right," he stammered, all of his attempts at being stern thrown out the window, "-of course. I did not consider... my apologies."

Toph fought the urge to whistle, wondering just how intimidating Scruffy must look right now. That was the other thing she knew about his injury- that it didn't just make him look ugly to sighted people, it also made him look _intimidating_. Intimidating enough that a thirteen year old child could stare down a full grown man and _win_. Even that meathead Yang couldn't last in a staring contest with him.

Why couldn't _she _do that? So unfair.

Of course, Li, at his core, was just not intimidating, no matter how many fancy sword tricks he knew. Which was why as soon as the moment passed, Li dropped his hand from his face, and turned it so that Yu could presumably only see his unmarred right.

"I just... remembered a funny joke, that's all." He mumbled in what was a clear lie. "Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt."

She shifted on her feet, picking up on his shame. He wasn't apologizing because he cared about interrupting Yu- he was apologizing because he knew if he didn't, there was a chance that he could lose this job. Not that she'd _let _her dad fire Li, but it was pretty obvious that he was kind of desperate not to lose this gig.

Desperate, and embarrassed about it.

Yep, Toph thought to herself, definitely a former noble. She didn't know why her parents were so blind to it, when it was so obvious to her. Sure, Li didn't exactly advertise the fact, but the way he carried himself, even the way he spoke sometimes practically _screamed _nobility.

It said a lot about him that he even _could _bow his head and accept a lesser station in life- most nobles she knew would balk at the idea of roughing it, much less being reduced to a servant. They would rather die than give up their own misplaced pride- to become a servant would be a fate worse than death to no small number of them. Then again, it wasn't like Li had much of a choice. She couldn't imagine that a father who had fought and disfigured his own son would have left him with his title intact.

But that didn't mean he wasn't embarrassed about how far he'd fallen.

She wished he wouldn't be. She didn't know the whole story, or basically any of it beyond the fact that his dad was not going to be winning any father of the year awards soon, but from what she knew? From what she knew, Li had adapted. _Survived_. There was nothing embarrassing about that. It just made him tough.

It was part of the reason why she liked him so much. Why they were _friends_.

Yu cleared his throat. "Very well. Jumping to conclusions was my mistake. Come now, Toph. Let's continue."

The lesson continued, but Li never looked back up from the floor.

* * *

"You know I wouldn't let him fire you, right?" She asked after the lesson was done, and Yu was long gone.

"I know," Li told her, his voice unusually soft, "-thanks."

"Good." Toph grinned. "Because if you think you're getting out of being my friend _that _easily, you've got another thing coming."

Li just laughed, the sound of it still too soft for her tastes but louder than it was when they first met. "You're not letting that go, are you?"

Letting go of the fact that Li had finally admitted that they were friends? Oh no. Not after getting him to admit it was akin to pulling teeth. No, she was going to milk that confession for all it was worth.

"Duh." Toph said. "Befriending you is like taming a feral pygmy puma. It's going on my list of accomplishments."

"Gee," she could almost _hear _Li roll his eyes, "-thanks."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Toph smiled. "I may not look like it, but I consider myself an animal lover. You could say some of my best friends are animals."

Li remained silent for what she deemed as a suspiciously long time. And then-

"Wow," he said, "-I thought _I _was your best friend."

Toph choked, before letting out a burst of laughter that was _far _from ladylike. She'd admit she hadn't expected that. He'd kept the fact that he thought of them as friends under lock and key until he'd been at his most emotionally vulnerable- she hadn't expected him to be so _casual _about it now that it was out in the open.

But then, Li was just as full of surprises as he was prone to routine. Those two things didn't go together at all, except Li somehow managed to pull it off.

"Three jokes in two days?" Toph asked. "It's like you developed a sense of humor or something."

"Hey!" Li grumbled. "I've _always _had a sense of humor."

"Really?" Toph asked. "Because that's news to me."

"Well clearly you're going deaf too." Li huffed, folding his arms in front of his chest like the petulant teenager he actually was at heart.

"It's okay, Scruffy." Toph said. "We can still be friends even if your jokes all suck."

Li turned his head, and she was pretty sure he was glaring at her now. "You know what? Just for that, I'm catching you tonight, so you better be ready."

Toph _beamed_, recognizing a challenge when she heard one. That said- Li, catching _her_? She'd believe it when it actually happened.

"Oh, I'll be ready." Toph said. "Ready to make you eat dirt, that is."

"No thanks." Li said. "I'm full."

Toph cackled, all while wondering how _anyone _could find this idiot intimidating.

* * *

She took lunch in her private chambers that day. Her father was busy with work, and her mother was visiting with a friend. Usually she just ate alone whenever her parents were too busy to join her for meals, but she'd managed to convince Li to eat with her today. She'd made the same offer a few times before, but this was the first time he'd actually _taken _it. Sometimes he'd share the snacks that she had brought to her, but this was the first time they'd ever really just sat down and had a meal together.

Thankfully, her servants hadn't even batted an eye at her request for extra portions. Honestly, she'd never thought that sharing a meal could be _fun_, but it was when she did with Li- even if she did have to listen to him complain about how _bland _everything was.

"It tastes fine to me, Scruffy." Toph said, taking another bite. "I think your taste buds are just broken."

"My taste buds are working _fine_, thanks." Li shot back. "It just needs more spice."

"You think _everything _needs more spice." Toph countered. "You even said it about the sweet cakes I slipped you the other day!"

"Well they did." Li huffed. "The contrast helps bring out the flavor."

"No it doesn't!" Toph protested. "All it does is make things spicy! Who wants spicy sweets?"

Li had the audacity to scoff. "People with taste, maybe."

"Yeah, _bad _taste." Toph said. "Next you're going to tell me that you actually enjoy papayas."

"Nobody likes papayas." Li said. "Give me _some _credit."

"Oh," Toph said, her lips curling into a smile, "-so you admit you have bad taste, then."

Li audibly bristled. "That's not what I said!"

"Sure, Scruffy." Toph continued to grin. "I believe you."

Seeming to realize that he'd walked into a trap, Li clamped his mouth shut. She could feel him glaring at her silently from across the table.

She'd just take that as a sign of victory.

* * *

Compared to her lighthearted lunch with Li, dinner with her parents was a much more stilted affair- but that was hardly new. Even though her parents always strove for an intimate setting for their personal meals together, she could never forget the servants that lingered silently just in the background. She was certain that they tried to make themselves as invisible as possible, and maybe if she was sighted, it might have actually worked. But she wasn't, so it never quite did.

Then again, she wasn't sure she wanted to be the sort of person who could just forget they were there. Her interactions with other members of the nobility were limited, but she'd spent enough time around them to know that the people who typically could weren't exactly the sort of people she aspired to be. They just seemed like stuck-up jerks.

"Toph," her father's voice was soft, gentle, as if he were afraid that even the slightest elevation in his tone would scar his poor delicate daughter for life, "-I heard you took your lunch in your room today."

Toph paused, a slight frown on her lips. She wasn't sure she liked where this was headed.

"You and mother were both busy." She said, keeping her tone as mild as she could. "I've done the same in the past. I didn't think it would be an issue this time."

"No, no, of course not." Her father said. "But we heard..."

"Darling," her mother began, cutting her father off, "-I know Li is your friend, but you have to understand that there are certain boundaries we do not cross with commoners."

"_Boundaries_?" Toph blurted out before she could stop herself. "All we did was eat lunch! How is that crossing any boundaries?"

Besides, she was pretty sure Li wasn't actually a commoner- not that she saw any reason why it should matter even if he was. What difference did it make?

She shifted her feet slightly, reading the vibrations of the earth. She could sense Li- he was never allowed into the dining hall itself, and for once, she was actually grateful for that. She just hoped he wasn't hearing any of this- Li's one good ear was _sharp_, almost as sharp as hers. He wasn't close enough for her to pick up on anything as distinct as a heartbeat, so she couldn't tell for sure.

"That is simply how it is done." Her father said, almost kindly.

It made her want to scream. That was always his answer to everything. But _why_? Why did it _have _to be done that way? They were _friends_. Being friends meant sharing meals together, she knew that much. She heard the servants talk about going to eat with their friends all the time- why couldn't she do the same?

But she couldn't scream. She couldn't shout. She knew her father hadn't been wild about hiring Li in the first place- he'd only caved because her mother had agreed that it would be good for her to have someone to talk to. And though he had come to grudgingly accept the fact that she wasn't going to get tired of him like he'd probably hoped she would, she didn't exactly want to give him an excuse to chase him away.

She'd only been lying a little when she'd told Li her father wouldn't fire him.

Over a small misunderstanding like before? No. Her father was a lot of things, but he wasn't _typically _unreasonable. But if he thought Li was becoming a bad influence on her behavior... then he just might.

She didn't want that.

But she didn't want to give in on the issue either.

"But I barely even leave the manor anyways." Toph said. "It's not like anyone will know."

"We're just thinking about what's best for you, dear." Her mother said, laying a hand over that of her own. As always, her touch was feather light, and she was seized by the sudden urge to rip her own out from under it.

She didn't. But she thought about it.

"I thought you said you were okay with us being friends." Toph said instead.

"And we are." Her mother was quick to assure her. "We just want to make sure you understand... well, certain things."

"Certain things." Toph repeated. "Like what?"

"You must never forget your station." Her father answered. "It is our duty as nobles to stand above the common folk."

Toph pursed her lips, her brows knitting together. She never got that part- why was she supposed to be better than other people just for being born? It's not like how it is with earthbending. With earthbending, she _knows _she's good- that she's better than a lot of other people, but it's not because she was born that way. She worked hard to get there- it wasn't just _given _to her. But she hadn't put any effort into becoming a noble. She just was.

"But Li is my _friend_." Toph insisted again, even though she knew it wasn't going to make a difference. "My _only _friend."

If her parents noticed the subtle thread of venom laced into her tone, they didn't react. At all. Even their heartbeats remained steady, unchanging. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"And that's fine." Her mother said again, stroking her hair as if she were some kind of doll. "But your tenth birthday is less than two months away, and before you know it, you'll blossom into a young woman. You need to understand that there will be things you can no longer do after you reach that point. We wouldn't want anyone to... _misinterpret things_."

Sometimes it was easy to bite her tongue and play along. But not today.

Because today, all she could hear was the fact that her parents were already planning on changing the terms of their agreement once she got old enough. Once they started getting serious about her future prospects- something which she was unlikely to have any say in. Her blood boiled, disgusted at the idea. She'd told her mother once that she wasn't interested in getting married, but she'd only laughed and said that would change with time.

Toph sincerely doubted that.

"Nobody's going to misinterpret anything." Toph said firmly.

"Perhaps not now." Poppy said gently. "But when you are older..."

Toph grit her teeth, drowning out the rest of her parents words. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to hear them plan out a future where she didn't even have a say.

Her parents loved her, yes- but they never _saw _her.

She wished they would.

* * *

"Do you want to talk about it?" Li asked later, on the way back.

"No."

Li just hummed, before awkwardly reaching out, giving her shoulder a firm squeeze. It was the first time he'd ever touched her, and he already did it better than her parents.

"Parents suck, huh?" He asked.

Toph scoffed. Coming from Li, that was an understatement.

"Yeah," she agreed, "-they kind of do."

* * *

Scruffy was being awfully quiet tonight.

Granted, Scruffy was _always _quiet. He moved like he didn't want people to know he was there, which after what she had learned about his father made way too much sense.

But even though his footfalls were silent- seriously, the guy never so much as stepped on a branch or crunched a leaf- it didn't mean she _couldn't _hear him. He could just be out of range of her hearing, she reasoned. Li was half-blind himself, so he would have known about that particular advantage. Heck, it wasn't even the first time he'd tried that particular tactic.

No- what really got her was the fact that she couldn't _sense _him either. At first she thought he might have been waiting to ambush her in the forest- an aggressive strategy that definitely seemed like him, but she hadn't picked up on a single sign of him since entering.

She scrunched up her nose in displeasure. He couldn't have just forgotten- could he? He'd _promised_. And Li didn't exactly seem like the type to break his promises.

He hadn't even been hiding in that stupid tree of his. It wasn't even a _good _hiding place- it was too short and squat for him to avoid being picked up by her earth sense. If it were taller, maybe, he could-

Oh. Oh _snap_.

Scruffy was in the _trees_.

Toph nearly squealed in delight- _nearly_. Clearly, Li was even better than she gave him credit for. For all of her lighthearted mocking of his efforts to catch her, not only had he proven himself to be an actual challenge, but he was also clearly certifiably _insane_.

Look, she didn't claim to know what the world was like for sighted people. But one thing she did know was that they didn't like it when it was too dark.

(Or too _bright_, for that matter. Seriously, would it kill them to make up their minds?)

Anyways, point was, she knew that nights were dark. Darkness made it hard to see. Not being able to see made people less likely to take risks, which was pretty much what jumping from tree branch to tree branch even in the daytime sounded like. Sprinkle on the fact that Scruffy was nearly half-blind and _didn't _have the distinct advantage of having an earth sense like she did, and you had what sounded like a recipe for disaster.

So of course Li hadn't thought twice about it.

All this just because he didn't want to potentially eat his own words? That was _dedication_. It wouldn't work, but still- she had to appreciate the effort.

Straining her ears, she listened out for any out of place sounds. She couldn't hear Li, but she did pick up on signs of him- the screech of a disturbed cat-owl, a pine cone falling to the ground from up high. He was _definitely _up there.

She'd let him think she hadn't figured him out for a little while longer- and then she'd strike. She didn't want Scruffy to end the night feeling _too _bad for himself, after all.

She made her way through the forest with practiced ease, keeping her ears strained for any further tells that Li was near. He didn't give her much to work with, to his credit. She waited until she picked up on one- the subtle, but nevertheless telling sound of a tree branch creaking, like Li had tried to move to one that couldn't quite hold his weight the way he thought it would, and was forced to move again in a hurry.

She grinned, pivoted on her heel, and slammed a foot down. The earth shook underneath her, violently shaking the trees closet to her. She picked out a very much not-whispered swear over the sound of rumbling earth, followed promptly by the loud creak of another tree branch, Li presumably having caught himself before he could crash headfirst into the ground.

Then she heard the sound of something _snap_, followed shortly by a yell.

For a brief moment, she let panic get the better of her. Then Li came back into the range of her earth sense, having caught a far more stable branch on the way down. Allowing herself a sigh of pure relief, Toph's shoulders slumped, angling her head so that she was looking roughly in Li's direction.

"That wasn't a good idea."

"No it wasn't." Li remarked from the tree, having hauled himself up so that he was perching properly on the branch. "How did you even know where I was?"

"Good ears." Toph grinned. "Want to come down?"

"That depends." Li said. "You make any more pit traps?"

"Hey, earthbender's honor." Toph said, holding up her hands. "I promise you there are no pit traps down here."

"Are you planning on _making _any pit traps?" Li asked, more suspiciously this time.

Toph clicked her tongue. "Darn. Just ruin all my plans, why don't you?"

She _wasn't _actually planning on making any pit traps. But it was fun to mess with him.

"That's what I do. Ruin plans." Li remarked, making his way down from the tree by jumping from branch to branch. Toph was positive this was all marvelously unsafe. "And is earthbender's honor an actual thing, or did you just make that up?"

"Eh," Toph shrugged, "-if it is, I don't think I'm _advanced _enough to learn it."

Li snorted, finally setting foot back on the forest floor. He managed to keep his steps quiet even when jumping down from a high place. Frankly, Toph was impressed.

"Well, _I've _never heard of it." Li said. "Then again, where I'm from, earthbenders aren't exactly painted in the most flattering colors."

There was a pause. Then a swear. Then a loud groan from Li as he slapped his palm over his face- all while his heartbeat sped up like crazy.

Toph, for her part, simply arched a brow. "I'm guessing you didn't mean to say that."

"No." Li admitted. "I definitely did not."

She let the silence stretch on for another few moments, feeling Scruffy's heartbeat speed up all the while. Once she decided that it was beating way too fast for his own good, she folded her arms in front of her chest, cocking her head like she was studying him.

"So," Toph began, trying to keep her voice calm and level, "-where _are _you from, Li?"

Li groaned, but at least his heartbeat calmed down a bit. "Are you really going to make me say it?"

Toph just shrugged. "You don't have to. Like I said, I don't really care."

The silence stretched on, punctuated only by the screech of a cat-owl in the distance. Finally, Li sighed, shifting slightly on his feet like he was preparing to make a break for it.

"I'm from the Fire Nation." Li said. "Happy?"

"Yep." Toph nodded, before beaming. "Huh. Guess Yang was right."

Li bristled, and she swore the temperature around them _spiked_. "I'm not a spy!"

"Whoa, easy there Scruffy." Toph said, holding up her hands. "Nobody said you were. All I was saying was that he was right about you being Fire Nation."

Li relaxed, the temperature around them dropping back down as he did so. The edge of Toph's lips twitched upwards- she had been speculating for awhile now that he might be a firebender, and from the look of it, she'd say she was right.

It made sense. She knew he was lying about being a bender, and that there were only two elements that would have prompted him to lie. There was no shame in being an earth or a waterbender- which only left fire and air. And since all the Air Nomads were dead, that meant Li could only be a firebender.

And a firebender in the Earth Kingdom had damn good reasons to lie about being one.

The only thing that reminded that contested that theory was the way he sometimes seemed almost _afraid _of fire. The way his heart rate always seemed to speed up whenever he did so much as light a candle. How his hands shook the one time they passed by the kitchen, the scent of a slow roasting pig-chicken strong in the air.

"Look," Li finally said, his voice barely above a whisper, "-I can- I can leave if you want."

Toph blinked. Then blinked again. Because that made no sense to her.

"What?" She asked. "Why would I want you to _leave_? You're my friend."

Li said nothing for a moment, simply opening and closing his mouth. "...because I'm Fire Nation? You know, part of the bad guys?"

"You _just _said you weren't a spy." Toph pointed out. "Besides, I've actually kind of guessed for awhile now that you were probably Fire Nation."

Actually, she'd thought he was from the colonies, not from the Fire Nation itself, but he didn't need to know that. Guess her running theory of Li being the mixed blood son of a Fire Nation noble forced to marry an Earth Kingdom noble didn't exactly hold much water now. Too bad- it had been a pretty good theory.

"Wha- I thought you said you didn't know anything!" Li yelled, managing a volume so loud that she was almost grateful they were so deep in the forest. "You-!"

"Calm down." Toph rolled her eyes. "I meant what I said. I _didn't _know anything. But that doesn't mean that I didn't make a few guesses. And _relax_, Scruffy. It's not like you being Fire Nation changes my view of you."

Li swallowed, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "It would if you knew who I really was."

Toph fought the urge to groan. He'd said something like that yesterday too. She thought he was over this already, but maybe she'd been a little too optimistic. Scruffy was clearly holding on to some pretty powerful feelings of guilt- she got the feeling that lying wasn't exactly something he was all that comfortable with or used to doing. She couldn't exactly relate- she lied all the time to her parents, and she never felt guilty about it, nor did she see anything wrong with that.

"I promise you," Toph said, "-you could be even be a firebender, and it wouldn't change the fact that we're friends."

Li choked, just like she thought he would. Seriously, how had he not managed to blow his cover yet? He was _terrible _at lying!

"I- um," Li began, shifting awkwardly on his feet, "-about that-"

"Let me guess." Toph said. "You're a firebender."

Li winced. "...kind of?"

"Kind of?" Toph asked. "How can you _kind of_ be a firebender?"

"I can't," Li began, and she knew he wasn't looking at her, "-I can't firebend anymore."

Toph arched a brow. There was definitely a story there, but she got the distinct feeling it wasn't one that Li wanted to tell- not yet, at least. Something in her stomach curled as she recalled what he had told her yesterday- that his father had challenged him to a fight, and that Li had refused. He hadn't elaborated on what happened after that, but from the way he'd touched the injured left side of his face, it had been pretty obvious that his father had been the one to mess up his face so bad.

Her stomach sank as she finally put two and two together, and realized what that terrible thing was.

A burn. Li's injury was a _burn_.

Li's injury was a _burn_, and that was why he couldn't firebend anymore. His father had branded him with his own element, had scarred him with it, and now he was... he was what, afraid? Terrified? Terrified of what by all rights should be his to control. She didn't understand how that was even possible, being afraid of your own element- she was so in tune with the earth, that the thought of suddenly being horrified of it was simply too counterintuitive for her to picture.

Then again, she guessed having part of your faced melted off by your own father would do it.

"I'm sorry." She finally said, her voice almost uncharacteristically quiet.

Li still didn't look up. "It's not your fault."

Well now things were just awkward, Toph thought to herself. She didn't like this at all. She wished the fun atmosphere from before would come back. That she could just drive it into Li's thick skull that she _cared _about him, and what secrets he chose to keep from her ultimately didn't matter.

She was Toph Beifong, after all. And Toph Beifong was an _excellent _judge of character.

Making a slight huff, Toph shifted her feet slightly. Li let out a slight cry of alarm as a wave of earth scooped him up, planting him right in front of her.

"Toph, what are you-?" He began.

She cut him off, reaching out and grabbing his hand. He flinched, but didn't move to stop her as she took his hand and cupped it around her wrist.

"Well, would you look at that, Scruffy?" Toph asked, cracking a grin. "It looks like you caught me."

Li opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Then slowly, he let his fingers curl around her wrist, holding it tight. She imagined that he was smiling, just a faint upward curl of his lips, even if she couldn't see it.

"Yeah," he said slowly, almost in wonder, "-looks like I did."

"Guess you earned the right to know all my secrets, then." Toph remarked.

Li looked up at her, then swallowed. "Is that- is that really okay? I mean, I'm still-"

"Scruffy," Toph cut him off, "-I let you win on purpose. What do you _think_?"

"Good point." Li admitted. "It's just a lot to take in."

"I mean, I told you all this stuff yesterday, too." Toph pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but-" Li stopped himself before he could finish with anything that could make her angry. Wise choice. "I'm not good at this."

"At what?" Toph asked.

"This!" Li said, releasing her wrist just so he could throw up his hands. He could be so dramatic sometimes. Maybe it was a Fire Nation thing. "Being friends! I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Well good news, Scruffy, because neither do I." Toph told him. "You're my first friend too, remember?"

"Oh." Li paused. "Right. You're just- you're better at this than I am."

"It's the confidence." Toph said, resisting the urge to give him a friendly punch in arm. It'd probably just spook him. "You should try it sometime."

"Sounds hard." Li remarked, and it took her a second to realize that he was joking.

"Don't worry." Toph promised. "You'll get there someday. I believe in you."

It must have been the right thing to say, because something in Li _eased_. His heartbeat, which was still somewhat frantic, finally started to calm down, like he actually believed that she wasn't about to turn him into the town guard for being a firebender, or for being Fire Nation, or whatever stupid thing he was worried about.

She wasn't stupid, of course. She knew full well her country was at war with his country, much as her parents tried to shield her from the news. But Li clearly wasn't some kind of evil Fire Nation spy- seriously, what spy worth their salt would be this bad at lying? He wasn't even _evil_\- his first instinct upon having the truth be revealed was to _run_, not fight.

Besides, the Fire Nation had hurt Li too- and then they'd thrown him out. Li wasn't an enemy. He was just a desperate kid, trying to survive. He was lying to protect himself, not hurt anyone.

"Do you really mean that?" Li asked.

"Sure do, Scruffy." Toph beamed, planting her hands on her hips. "I wouldn't just pick _anyone _as my first friend."

Li scoffed, the sound so faint it was nearly lost in the noises of the forest. "Right. Just incompetent fruit thieves."

"Exactly." Toph said, puffing out her chest. "As you can tell, I have high standards."

That pulled another laugh from Li, louder and stronger this time. Apprehension quickly took it's place, the firebender shifting awkwardly on his feet. "So... you're really okay? With me being Fire Nation, I mean?"

"Hey, I don't lie about what really matters." Toph said firmly. "If I had a problem with you being Fire Nation, you'd be buried up to your neck in dirt by now."

Li seemed to consider this. "That... that's fair."

"You're darn right it is." Toph said. "Now are we going to stand around in the forest all night talking about our feelings, or are we going to do anything interesting?"

"Interesting." Li repeated. "What exactly would you consider _interesting_?"

Toph's smile just grew. "I promised you my secrets, didn't I?"

"That's a distinct possibility." Li said.

"Great!" Toph said. "Follow me!"

She turned on her heel, not stopping to wait for him to catch up. His legs were almost annoyingly long for a kid who was barely four years older than her, so it wasn't like it would take him long anyways. Sure enough, he was behind her in seconds, his annoyingly silent footsteps barely even audible against the forest floor.

"So... where exactly are we going?" Li asked, after a few moments of only slightly awkward silence.

Toph just continued to grin. "You'll see."

Li made a noise, like he was trying to decide if that was a blind joke or not. It was both, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

Their destination wasn't far. She could feel Li's confusion grow as they made it to what probably just looked like a big rock to him. He couldn't sense the labyrinth of tunnels that stretched beyond and underneath it, leading into the mountains that surrounded Gaoling. They could take her nearly anywhere she wanted to go- though she rarely strayed far. She didn't want to take the risk of not showing back up before dawn. The thought of her parents sending out search parties for her wasn't exactly pleasant.

Also they would almost definitely fire Li then, nevermind the fact that he would have been asleep. Her safety was the one thing her father _could _be irrational about.

Toph got into her stance, stomping her left foot, carving an entrance into the rock wall. She made it a little bigger this time, so that Li wouldn't have to stoop over until they came out into the practice arena that she'd carved out for herself. She took a few steps inside, before she realized that he wasn't following.

With a slight frown, she turned back in his direction. "There a problem, Scruffy?"

"You know I won't be able to see shit in there, right?" Li asked.

Toph opened her mouth. Closed it. Then opened it again.

"_Shit_." She repeated, echoing the boy's earlier swear just as soon as she committed it to memory. She was going to get some _use _out of that. "You're right."

She couldn't say which of them ended up breaking the silence first- but she guessed it really didn't matter. Hearing the way Li's unexpected bark of laughter mixed with hers was the only thing that was actually important.

"Sorry, Scruffy." Toph said, once their laughter had died down somewhat. "Guess I forgot you aren't completely blind."

"From you?" Li said. "That's a compliment."

Toph beamed. Because if Scruffy could understand that, then it meant he understood her even better than she'd first thought. It meant that when he looked at her, he didn't see her blindness as a weakness- but rather that he'd come to view it as a strength.

That, and also that he was a lot more perceptive than literally anyone else she had ever met. She wasn't sure how much he'd figured out, but the fact that he'd been able to figure out anything at all was pretty telling. She chalked it up to the fact that he was half-blind- there was something of a mutual understanding there.

She also didn't question why he couldn't just light his own way. She hadn't forgotten how quiet his voice had gone when he'd admitted that he couldn't firebend anymore.

"You bet it is." She said. "And you'd better take it to heart, because the greatest earthbender in the world doesn't compliment just _anyone_."

"The greatest earthbender in the world, huh?" Li asked, folding his arms in front of him and tilting his head. "Is that what you've been hiding?"

"What, you don't believe me?" Toph asked.

"I never said _that_." Li said quickly.

"Good." Toph nodded. "Because as soon as we work out a light source for you, you're going to become my new sparring buddy."

"Wait- _what_?"


	7. two kids in an underground fight pit

I'm back with our longest chapter yet! This may be the single longest chapter of anything I've ever written? It's a doozy, that's for sure, with the added bonus of being a bit of an emotional roller coaster! I should probably also warn that in the third to last section of the fic, there's some discussion of child abuse and not the regularly scheduled Fire Lord-related kind either.

Also like, I really shouldn't have to say it at this point, but this is not a Toph/Zuko fic. It will not become a Toph/Zuko fic. Please stop asking if it will. Canon pairings only.

That said, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! See y'all next time!

* * *

**kintsugi**

**two kids in an underground fight pit**

* * *

"So, did you get the goods?"

"They're _lanterns_, not illicit goods." Zuko told Toph. "And yes, I got them."

He lifted the pair of lanterns as if to demonstrate, even though he knew Toph couldn't see them. It hadn't even been that hard to get them- the other servants had been more than happy to lend him a pair when he asked about it. He got the sense that they were just grateful that he _had _asked them for something, information that he still wasn't sure what to do with.

If he didn't know any better, it was almost like they cared about him or something.

Weird.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Toph beamed. "Let's go!"

The earthen wall crumbled at Toph's command, though he had to duck his head a bit to get through. He got the feeling that she was used to making holes that fit _her _size, rather than his. Hopefully she'd remember the fact that he was taller than her later.

"So," Zuko said after a few minutes of only slightly awkward silence, "-where exactly are you taking me?"

"Where I took you yesterday, duh." Toph said.

"Yeah, but where is that, exactly?" Zuko asked. "It just looked like a big rock to me."

Toph just grinned. "Well that's where you'd be wrong."

Zuko waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't. Right. Guess he was in for something of a surprise, then.

After having spent the past few months trying to catch her, it was weird to be following behind Toph so closely. The events of the previous evening were still vivid in his mind, coupled as they were with a sense of disbelief that they actually _had _happened. It felt like something out of a dream- you know, if he _had _nice dreams.

Toph knew he was Fire Nation. She knew he was a firebender. And she was... completely okay with that? It didn't make any sense to him. Sure, he was grateful for it, but that didn't mean he _understood _it.

Maybe it was the isolation. Maybe she just didn't understand how bad the war actually was, how bad _firebenders _actually were. Or at least, how bad the rest of the Earth Kingdom _thought _they were- but given what he'd seen, he couldn't even refute their claims. He wanted to believe in his own people, believe that they weren't the monsters the people here described them as, but sometimes it was hard.

Sometimes it was downright impossible.

Well, whatever Toph's reasons for trusting him were, he'd take it. He still felt a little guilty about lying to her- sure, she knew he was Fire Nation now, but there was a pretty big leap between being from an enemy nation and being the _prince _of said nation, banished or not.

He was just glad she still wanted to be friends with him.

Oh, and that he wouldn't have to try and find another job. And another place to live. And possibly evade capture by Earth Kingdom soldiers sent after him while he was at it. That too. But the friendship thing felt more important.

"Okay, Scruffy, we're here."

Zuko looked up, realizing abruptly that they _were_. That felt a lot faster than he remembered. Toph must have been deliberately misleading him all this time, which honestly, didn't surprise him, not when she'd spent the past few months toying with him however she could. It _should _have been frustrating, or at the very least _annoying_, but honestly?

He was actually sort of starting to miss it. It had been... fun?

Huh. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had _fun_.

"It still just looks like a big rock to me." Zuko observed.

Toph just snorted, using earthbending to create a pathway into the rock itself. He squinted, trying to see how far down it went, but it was too dark for him to properly make out. Setting down the lanterns, he reached into his pocket, pulling out the spark rocks he'd brought with him. Stooping down, he opened the hatch on one of the lanterns, pausing to take a deep breath.

He was okay. He wasn't even firebending. He was _fine_.

The spark rocks struck true the first time. He hastily closed the hatch, finally exhaling as he did so. The tiny flame flickered in response, but didn't grow- or _shrink_, for that matter. He'd hate to have to relight it, especially since he was just going to have to light the other one when they got to wherever it was Toph was leading him anyways.

He tucked away the spark rocks, picking up both lanterns as he stood. He purposefully avoided looking Toph in the eyes, the knot in his stomach tied tight. His fear of fire wasn't exactly uncommon knowledge, but this was the first time he'd had to deal with someone who not only knew about it, but also knew that he was a _fire_bender.

Or well, that he was _supposed _to be a firebender. He couldn't exactly call himself much of one now, could he?

He just- he didn't want Toph to think he was _pathetic_. Which, yeah, he kind of was- but that didn't mean he wanted people to _view _him that way. And Toph was so in tune with her own element, so for him to be afraid of what was supposed to be _his_...

"You're doing that not breathing thing again."

Toph's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he suddenly realized she was right. He carefully exhaled, before slowly drawing in another breath, and just as slowly letting it out. He felt a little better, if only just.

"You know, if it's that bad, _I _could just light them." Toph suggested.

"Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea." Zuko said.

Toph just grinned, unbothered. "Geez, Scruffy. It's like you think I'm _blind _or something."

Zuko just snorted, a strange sense of peace accompanying the sound. He was safe here. Even if the fire went out of control, Toph could just smother it with earth. He'd be _fine_.

Maybe if he kept telling himself that, he'd actually start believing it.

"Are we just going to stand around a big rock all night, or are you going to show me this... _place _of yours?" Zuko asked.

"Place." Toph echoed, her brows shooting up.

"I don't know what it is!" Zuko defended himself. "You haven't told me anything!"

"Can't spoil the surprise." Toph said. "C'mon."

Thankfully Toph remembered to make the tunnel to _his _height this time. He trailed behind the earthbender, keeping the lit lantern at shoulder level. The tiny flame danced on the tunnel walls, casting shadows, but he wasn't afraid of it now that it was contained. He hadn't been afraid of it when he'd lit the lantern either, not really- just... _apprehensive_. Nervous.

But a nervous firebender was a dangerous one. He knew that.

But the flame itself was too small for him to be afraid of. At least, _today _it was. Tomorrow?

He could never be sure about tomorrow.

He almost didn't notice when Toph came to an abrupt halt, nearly slamming right into her. It was only years of training that let him balance perfectly on just the one foot, before he carefully avoiding giving into his own momentum and toppling into the earthbender. Regaining his footing, he raised the lit lantern, casting its glow over the wide cavern that stretched before them.

He squinted. It almost looked like... an _arena_? It was hard to tell when it was so dark. His lantern's tiny flame barely illuminated anything.

Turning on her heel, Toph beamed, her milky eyes gleaming oddly under the lantern's light. Spreading out her arms as if she was showing the place off, she tilted her chin confidently upwards.

"Well?" She asked. "What do you think?"

"I think," Zuko said, still straining to see, "-I'm going to need more lanterns."

Toph, unhelpfully, just laughed.

* * *

More lanterns did, in fact, help.

Toph made them with earthbending. All he had to do was borrow (steal) the candles to put in them. He considered asking to borrow a few more lanterns, but no matter how eager the Beifong servants were to help him out, asking for more than two lanterns would just seem... _weird_.

Maybe not _firebender _weird. But still weird.

He still didn't let Toph light any of them. She only pretended to be offended.

She didn't pretend that she wasn't watching him the entire time. He pretended not to notice, trying to keep himself calm and level as he used the spark rocks to light each candle. He felt the flames begging to dance at his call, but he ignored it.

Now that he could see it properly, Toph's arena- and it _was _an arena- was actually pretty impressive. The cavern itself was natural, Toph had explained- she'd just improved upon it. There was a raised platform in the center of the cavern where the ground had been made perfectly level and smooth, enough so that when he ran a hand over it, it didn't get so much as a scratch, not even the smallest piece of earth jutting out of place. It was an impressive feat of earthbending, even more so for someone who couldn't see at all.

"I _can _see, actually," Toph told him as she erected the last pillar, using earthbending to fix the final lantern in place, "-just not the same way you do."

Zuko arched his single brow at her, warily watching the flame that flickered every time she moved the stone lantern. "How does that work?"

"With earthbending, mostly." Toph replied. "I use the vibrations of the earth."

Zuko frowned, folding his arms in front of him. "What, like a wolf-bat?"

"Try _badgermole_." Toph said. "They're the ones who taught me, actually."

Zuko's good eye widened, snapping back to that first awkward conversation with Toph, back when he had just been hired. She'd mentioned something about having seen a badgermole back then, but honestly, he'd kind of forgotten about it until now.

"That... explains a lot, actually." Zuko finally said. "I was wondering how you got so good when your teacher's full of shit."

Toph grinned that wide, toothy grin he was becoming so familiar with. "Yeah, he _is _full of shit."

"You, uh," Zuko winced, realizing that maybe he should watch his mouth around the _nine year old girl_, "-you probably shouldn't say that in front of your parents."

"What, _shit_?" Toph snorted. "Give me _some _credit, Scruffy, I'm not an idiot. I'm pretty sure my parents would have my mouth washed out with soap if they caught me swearing."

Yeah, he could kind of picture that.

_"I'm _just annoyed that you've known swear words this whole time." Toph said, almost accusingly. "You been holding out on me?"

Zuko just shrugged. He didn't know she wanted to learn them, but in hindsight, he probably should have. "I was on a ship for awhile. I picked a few things up."

He didn't mention that he'd spent most of his time on said ship delirious and in pain. He also didn't mention the fact that looking back on it, he was pretty sure that there hadn't been a single reputable sailor in the entire bunch. No wonder they swore so much.

It kind of figured that his father would have only been willing to spare the worst of the worst for him, even if it had been for the sake of kicking him out of the country. Honestly, part of him was just surprised that none of the sailors had tried to throw him overboard. He guessed his father just had that much faith that he'd get himself killed on his own, in a way that couldn't be linked back to him.

For once, he was almost _glad _to let him down.

"So," Zuko said, quickly changing the topic, "-badgermoles? How did _that _happen?"

Toph shrugged. "Ran away when I was six. Got adopted by badgermoles. You know how it goes."

"I most definitely do not." Zuko said, because he absolutely didn't.

"Anyways, that's how I learned earthbending." Toph said. "They taught me how to see the world through my feet, plus a lot of other things that have come in handy."

Zuko arched his brow. She'd left a lot out, but at least one thing was starting to make sense to him. "I'm guessing that's why you hate having your feet washed."

"Nice to know you catch on quick." Toph grinned, falling into an earthbending stance. "Now let's move on from the explanation to the _demonstration_."

Zuko just stared at her. What did she mean by-?

"Demon- wait, you were _serious _about that?" Zuko asked, his voice only _slightly _cracking as he said that. "I thought you were only _joking _about us being sparring partners."

"What, think you can't take me?" Toph asked, smirking. "Don't worry, Scruffy, I'll go easy on you."

"That's not what I-!" Zuko bristled, glowering at the earthbender, unsure if he was more offended by the implication that she didn't even consider him a challenge, or by the fact that she knew he was useless at firebending but was still challenging him to a match anyways. "I can't even _bend_!"

"You don't _need _to be able to bend." Toph insisted. "You have your swords, don't you? Besides, if I wanted to beat up the weak, I could just go kick Yang's butt."

Zuko snapped his mouth shut. He'd only ever taken up the art of the dual dao in order to help compensate for his weak firebending- he'd never thought about using them to fight a bender, even in a controlled setting. Then again, right now he _couldn't _bend. His swords were all he had.

And he _was _a banished Fire Nation prince in a kingdom of earthbenders...

...maybe learning how to defend himself from them wasn't such a bad idea.

"Okay," he finally said, drawing his swords with what was frankly an unnecessary amount of flair, "-but I'll have you know, I'm considered pretty good."

Toph's smirk only grew.

* * *

Toph kicked his ass.

"So," Toph said, leaning over his fallen form, making no move to help him up, "-ready to go again?"

_Never give up without a fight_, the knife his uncle had given him read.

"You know it."

* * *

Toph kicked his ass.

Again.

"Who taught you how to swordfight anyways?" Toph asked, offering him no help as he stumbled back onto his feet. "I didn't think that was a thing benders even learned."

"From a master named Piandao." Zuko replied, rubbing his shoulder where one of Toph's rock strikes had hit it square on, knocking his sword from his grip. "He's considered to be one of the greatest swordsmen in the world."

"Huh," Toph said, "-I bet I could kick his butt."

Zuko huffed, but didn't dispute it. The legendary swordsman who had defeated one hundred Fire Nation soldiers and earned his right to desert from the Fire Nation army being defeated by a nine year old blind girl.

Piandao would think it was hilarious.

* * *

"You know," Toph observed, crouching over where he lay on the ground, "-I kind of thought you'd be more upset at having your butt kicked by a little girl."

"You should meet my sister." Zuko scoffed, before quickly thinking better of that. "Actually, no. That's a bad idea. _Don't _meet my sister."

He couldn't even imagine what a fight between Toph and Azula would be like. He wasn't sure he even _wanted _to. It would probably involve entirely too much fire.

"Well shoot, Scruffy." Toph said. "There goes my weekend plans."

Zuko snorted, recognizing it as the joke it was. "My sister's not exactly known for her hospitality. Or the rest of my family, really. Well, except for my uncle. He'd probably welcome you with a hot cup of ginseng tea."

"Sounds like a nice guy." Toph observed.

"Yeah," Zuko smiled, "-he is."

Agni, he missed his uncle. He hoped he was doing alright. He knew how badly Lu Ten's death had affected him, so he hoped... he hoped he didn't think that he was dead too. He didn't want to put his uncle through that kind of pain again.

...he also probably shouldn't mention the fact that his uncle was the Dragon of the West.

* * *

"So," Toph asked, peering down at him, "-round four?"

"You know what?" Zuko stared up at the tiny earthbender, momentarily seeing two of her before he blinked the double image away. "I think I'm good for tonight."

_Never give up without a fight_, the knife his uncle gave him read. It said nothing, however, about putting that fight _on hold_.

"Don't worry, Scruffy. You'll beat me one day." Toph said, holding out a hand to help him up.

He took it without hesitation. "You don't actually mean that, do you?"

"Nope!" Toph chirped, hauling him to his feet. Her grip was firm, but steadying. "You could become the greatest firebender in the world, and I'd still kick your butt."

Zuko huffed, letting go of her hand to brush dirt off the back of his robe. He was glad he'd changed into his stolen brown robes, rather than the nicer ones Toph's mother had made for him. It would be hard to explain how he'd managed to get them so dirty.

"I'd settle for just being able to firebend at all."

Toph's smile slipped from her face. "Is it really that bad?"

"It's bad." Zuko replied truthfully. "I haven't been able to make fire at all since..."

"He burned you, didn't he?" Toph asked, angling her head so that her eyes were at least looking in the direction of his face. "Your father, I mean."

"Yeah." Zuko said, one hand straying to his burn. There was no sense in hiding it, not when it was obvious to everyone else. People talked, after all.

"I can produce a little heat now," he began, "-but every time I try and make a flame, I keep thinking about when it happened."

It had been awhile, he privately thought, since he'd actually really tried.

Dropping his hand from his face, Zuko frowned. "I guess I must sound pretty pathetic."

"Are you kidding me?" Toph asked. "From what I can tell, you survived someone _melting off part of your face_. There's nothing pathetic about that. I'm kind of surprised you aren't _more _messed up."

Zuko blinked. That hadn't been the response he'd been expecting. But then if there was one thing Toph had proven, it was that she was all about the unexpected.

"You might think twice about that if you could actually see it." Zuko said.

"I wasn't talking about your face." Toph said. "I was talking about _you_."

Zuko opened his mouth to say that his face was part of him, only to close it. Toph was blind, and she saw the world in a different way than he did. He thought he understood that, being almost half-blind himself now, but he was starting to suspect he'd only just barely scratched the surface of what that actually meant.

"I guess I never really thought of it that way." He admitted.

"Well you should," Toph said firmly, "-since it's true."

Zuko managed a small smile, even if he wasn't quite ready to take Toph's words to heart. He knew how badly the Agni Kai had broken him, but it was nice thinking that maybe it hadn't been quite as bad as he thought.

Stooping down to pick up his swords, he sheathed them behind his back. "We should probably head back."

"Don't forget your light." Toph said.

Zuko blinked, glancing towards where Toph was pointing. It was one of the two lanterns he'd brought with him originally, the candle inside having melted down nearly halfway. He hadn't even realized that they'd been in here for so long- it was surprisingly easy for him to lose track of time when the sun wasn't out.

Also he'd probably need more candles if they were going to do this again.

"We can leave it here." Zuko said. "All I have to do is follow you back, right?"

Toph just arched a brow, doubt radiating off her small figure in a way that made him bristle. But then she shrugged, seemingly indifferent. "Suit yourself. You gonna blow 'em out?"

Zuko frowned, narrowing his eyes at the tiny earthbender. What did she think he was going to do, trip and fall on his face? He hadn't been that clumsy in _years_.

He huffed, deciding not to dignify it with a response. Instead he made his way to nearest lantern, leaning down to blow the flame out. He could snuff the flame out with his bending, could feel each tiny fire under his skin, still begging for him to take control, but he just couldn't take that first step. He didn't want to risk losing control once he had it.

He blew the candles out.

Toph said nothing.

* * *

On the way out, he tripped and fell flat on his face.

Toph had a lot to say about _that_.

* * *

"That's a... that's sure a lot of candles, kid."

Zuko looked almost sheepishly up at Yun, trying to pretend like he _wasn't _currently trying to carry several dozen candles at once- and also maybe kind of sort of failing at it. At least he'd obtained them _legally _this time, by purchasing them like a regular human being who had money. He'd even bought some to replace the one's he'd stolen from the guard's stock the previous night.

It was the first time he'd visited the town of Gaoling itself since being hired by the Beifongs, and he'd gone there to buy _candles_. Thankfully he hadn't gotten too many odd looks while in the marketplace, so he'd been hoping that his good luck would continue on the way back. The servant's quarters were usually deserted around this time of day.

Emphasis on _usually_.

"I... like to do a lot of night reading?" Zuko offered.

Yun arched a brow, looking at him, then back down to the candles, and then back up at him again. "Yeah? What do you like to read?"

"Um," Zuko shifted awkwardly on his feet, just wanting this conversation to _end_, "-theater scrolls?"

"Huh," was all Yun said before shrugging. He had no idea if that meant he'd accepted what he'd said was true, or if he had just decided that he didn't actually care enough to pursue his weird candle hoarding any further. "You uh, want a hand with those?"

"Yes," Zuko said quickly, and then, after a moment of thought, he added, "-please."

* * *

He met the badgermoles. They were _a lot_ bigger than he thought they would be.

And no, Toph did not warn him. At all.

He'd get back at her for that someday.

Not today, though. Today was just Toph kicking his ass all over again, only this time, her masters were watching. Somehow getting beat up by a blind nine year old girl was a lot more embarrassing when there were a pair of giant badgermoles around to see it happen- even if they couldn't actually _see_.

(When he blew out the candles, it felt like they were judging him.)

* * *

It didn't take him long to learn that Toph wasn't kidding about being a great earthbender. It was the _greatest in the world_ part he wasn't sure about just yet. She was only nine, after all, and the only earthbenders she ever got the chance to interact with were the household guards and Master Yu, and he wouldn't exactly call any of them _great_.

He also made the mistake of saying that out loud.

Toph knocked him flat in three seconds, and he was forced to reconsider.

* * *

He blew out the candles again.

Toph still didn't say anything.

* * *

"How do you feel about going on a field trip, Scruffy?" Toph asked.

"That depends." Zuko said, his brow shooting up into what were _finally _starting to grow into bangs, if only just barely. "What _kind _of field trip?"

"The best kind." Toph grinned in a way that could be best described as _mischievous_. "The kind where we watch a bunch of dudes beat each other up."

Zuko tilted his head, mulling it over. He had to admit... that did sound like a pretty good field trip. So long as they weren't beating each other up with _fire_, that was.

"I'm in."

* * *

If someone told him a year ago that he'd be accompanying an Earth Kingdom heiress whose family he worked for to an underground earthbending tournament, he would have laughed in their faces. Now he just shrugged and went on with his life- it had been pretty nuts these past few months. This might as well happen, he figured.

"Earth Rumble Four?" Zuko asked, staring incredulously at the mouth of the cave that held the aforementioned event. "There's been _three _of these?"

The whole place screamed _shady _to him. It set him on edge, wondering if any of these people would realize that the blind girl in the earthbending practice robes was the Beifong heiress or not- and if so, what they would do about it. But they weren't getting any weird looks, and shockingly enough, there were other kids around their age here, so maybe he was just overthinking things.

Just like a bodyguard would.

Great. He'd _settled_. He could almost hear Azula laughing at him.

"Turns out people love watching other people get hit in the face with rocks." Toph shrugged. "Who knew?"

Zuko just snorted, pushing the sound of his sister's laughter out of his head. "Like you don't love hitting me in the face with rocks."

"I'll admit," Toph grinned, "-it _is _pretty satisfying. But I prefer the doing, rather than just watching."

"You're not planning on entering, are you?" Zuko asked, a slight frown crossing his features. Toph was good, but these people were likely professionals. He didn't know if she was good enough to beat people who did this for a living just yet.

"As much as I would love to, I'll be sitting this one out." Toph said. "You see, this is actually my first time coming to one of these. You had a point the other day, about me not having much to compare my own earthbending to. I thought maybe I should change that."

"And yet you still beat me up for it anyways." Zuko observed. "Nice."

"Hey, I've got a reputation to maintain." Toph said. "Now c'mon, let's go get some tickets! I want to see if this _Boulder _person is really all he's cracked up to be."

* * *

The person at the ticket booth had smiled and called them _siblings_.

Neither of them had refuted it.

Having a little sister that didn't want to kill you was... _nice_, Zuko thought. Even if Toph did beat him up almost as often as Azula had.

At least she let him fight back.

* * *

They made the mistake of sitting in the front row.

The first time a stray rock came their way, he made the executive decision to move towards the back. He did not let Toph protest this decision. He was her bodyguard, and right now he was going to act like it. Greatest earthbender in the world or not, it didn't change the fact that she really did weigh about as much as a wet poodle-monkey. Scooping her up and tossing her over his shoulder was _easy_.

She was definitely going to get him back later for it. And he would worry about that later.

At least they wouldn't get crushed by rocks.

* * *

"Li, _no_."

"But-"

"I said no."

Zuko grumbled, but nevertheless removed his hand from the hilt of his swords. He scowled down at the arena, where a man in bright red pants and a dark cape stood, waving a flag with the Fire Nation emblem on it. He almost wished he _could _still firebend, just so he could set his stupid cape on fire.

That was before he started to _sing_.

"This is ridiculous," Zuko complained, "-the Fire Nation doesn't even _have _an anthem! And if it did, it wouldn't be _that_!"

Toph just laughed, oblivious in the way only a blind person could be to his continued glare.

Stupid Earth Rumble. Stupid Fire Nation Man.

* * *

"So what's your opinion on The Boulder?"

Toph's grin was answer enough, but she gave him a verbal one anyways. "I bet I could kick his ass."

Zuko snorted, his lips quirking into a grin. "Yeah. I bet you could too."

Now that _he _had more to compare Toph too, he could tell just how gifted an earthbender she actually was. The way she fought was so different from anyone who had stepped into the arena tonight, but he guessed that was just the result of her having learned directly from the original earthbenders themselves.

He briefly wondered what it would be like to be taught by dragons, like the firebenders of old, but quickly shelved the thought. There were no more dragons left. His Uncle had seen to that long before he was born.

"You're just picturing me beating up Fire Nation Man, aren't you?" Toph asked, cocking a brow.

"It's a strong possibility."

* * *

Toph kicked his ass again that night, but with more flair this time. He had to admit, he was impressed- and also maybe a little dizzy.

Toph winced, hastily earthbending him a seat. "You should _probably _sit down for a bit."

"Good idea." Zuko mumbled, rubbing his head where it had hit the ground. "The bit with the rocks shaped like the earth symbol was a nice touch, though."

"Didn't work though." Toph said, easing him into the impromptu chair. He didn't protest at her touch, admittedly just a bit too out of it for it to even register.

"Too brittle." Zuko recalled. "Easy to break up. The big rock worked better."

"The big rock may have given you a concussion." Toph pointed out.

"Nah, I'm fine." Zuko waved off her concern. "I've had a concussion before. This isn't one, trust me."

Toph just stared at him strangely, like he'd said something weird. "Geez, Scruffy. How bad _was _your home life?"

He just grunted in response, motioning to the left side of his face.

"Point taken."

* * *

Zuko hissed, his hands darting away from where he'd been hit yesterday. It hadn't turned out to be a concussion, thankfully- it was just a bad bump. The dizzy spell had cleared up after a few minutes, but Toph had, for once, decided against a round two. Which, fine by him- he wasn't exactly in a hurry for _more _head trauma.

He knew he shouldn't have touched it, but everyone at the table had been giving him such weird looks, that he'd thought something was wrong. Did he have something in his hair? There shouldn't have been a bruise...

"You okay there, kid?" Yun asked, shooting him a glance. He was pretty sure it was a _worried _glance, which was still weird. He couldn't wrap his head around the idea that these Earth Kingdom servants actually _cared _about him- or cared about _Li_, at least.

Close enough, he guessed.

"Fine." Zuko said, wincing again at how curt his tone was. "Just sore."

"Did you hit your head?" Xia-Su asked, actual _concern _in her tone.

"Yeah," Zuko mumbled, half wanting to just sink into the earth so this conversation could be over with, "-something like that."

And just like that, the entire table's attention was on him, not just the group that sat closest to him. Maybe he should have just taken his morning meal and run.

"_Something like that_?" Xia-Su repeated, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. "What _actually _happened, Li?"

"Nothing!" Zuko sputtered, his good eye wide. "I just-"

"Really?" Yun asked, not even giving him a chance to finish. "Because you don't exactly seem like the type to just _fall_, kid."

"Was it that _Yang _fellow again?" Old Lady An asked, almost spitting out the guardsman's name. "I never liked that man. Always thought he was shifty."

"No, it-" Zuko began, but didn't get a chance to finish.

Yun's gaze hardened, going from worry to quiet fury. "He didn't hurt you, did he? I know he's been giving you a hard time ever since Lord Beifong hired you, but if he laid an actual hand on you, I-"

"No!" Zuko blurted out, not realizing that he'd yelled until the kitchen went dead quiet. "No, he didn't hurt me. I just... fell and hit my head. That's all."

As amusing as it would be to see a bunch of angry servants ganging up on Yang, and as much as the man himself probably deserved it, _he _didn't deserve their defense. Besides, he didn't want to risk getting anyone in trouble. Not for him.

He was glad the kitchen fires had already been put out.

"You can tell us the truth, Li." Xia-Su said, finally seeming to find her voice. She'd gone eerily quiet when Yang's name had been brought up. "We all see the way he talks to you."

Zuko swallowed, a weird feeling bubbling up in his stomach that he couldn't even begin to identify. "I promise, that's not what happened. I really did just fall. Sometimes I still have trouble with distance."

Silence swept over the table then, the servants exchanging glances that he couldn't read. He bit his lip, pretending to be very interested in his rice, hoping they didn't press him any further. He couldn't exactly tell them that he'd gotten his head injury sparring with a nine year old blind earthbender hyped up from Earth Rumble Four. He didn't think they'd _believe _him, but Toph had trusted him with her secret, and he wasn't about to just blurt it out to escape an awkward situation.

"If you need to see a healer..."

Zuko chanced a look at Xia-Su, before slowly shaking his head. "I'll be fine."

"She didn't mean about your head, boy." Old Lady An said. "She meant your scar."

"Oh." Zuko flushed, ducking his head again. "It's- it's fine. I saw one when it first... when it happened."

It was true. Probably? There had to have been a healer involved at _some _point in the healing process, however briefly. He was pretty sure he would have gotten an infection otherwise. He wasn't _that _lucky.

He didn't see the servants exchange a look between them.

"Just keep in mind that the offer's always on the table." Yun finally told him. "You're part of us now, kid, I don't know how it works where you're from, but we look after our own here."

Zuko just nodded, still not looking up. Thankfully, the topic changed after that, but he still finished the rest of his morning meal with his eyes averted. He wondered if he'd ever stop feeling guilty about lying to these people.

He hoped not.

* * *

"You should think of a stage name."

Toph glanced up at him, briefly freezing mid-kata before picking it right back up. "Good point. I don't think it would go over well if I introduced myself as _Toph Beifong_."

Zuko's lips quirked in a grin. "Probably not."

"Got any ideas?" Toph asked.

"I was always terrible at naming things." Zuko admitted.

"I'll take that as a no." Toph snorted, finishing off the kata.

Inspired by last night's Earth Rumble, she was working on some new moves, so for now all he was doing was just sitting back and watching. He'd never seen Toph actually _practice _before, even though he'd been keeping her company for a few weeks now. She just seemed so effortlessly good, that it was easy to forget that there had to be actual hard work behind it all.

He'd fallen into that trap with Azula. She was a prodigy, sure, but her lessons were even harder than his own had been, her instructors even more unrelenting. Thinking back on it, he'd been... well, not the greatest big brother to her sometimes. And sure, she hadn't exactly been the world's greatest little sister either, but he shouldn't have let his own feelings of inadequacy get to him the way they had. It wasn't _Azula's _fault their father thought he was worthless. Not really.

Except now he really _was _worthless, he thought, casting a glance towards the lanterns that lined the arena. Involuntarily, he felt himself reaching out towards the flames- only to let them go with a shudder the second he realized what he was doing, plunging the cave into sudden darkness as a result.

Shit.

"You okay there, Scruffy?" Toph asked. "Your heartbeat just picked up."

Right. Figures Toph wouldn't notice.

"I, uh," Zuko chewed on his lip, "-I accidentally snuffed out the candles."

There was silence. Then Toph burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" Zuko protested, grateful that it was both dark and that Toph was blind so that she couldn't see how red his cheeks were. "I can't see a thing!"

"Oh no," Toph said dryly, "-what a nightmare."

Zuko just glared in her general direction. "I'm glad you find this hilarious."

"_Relax_, Scruffy." Toph said, suddenly right in front of him now based on the closeness of her voice. If he squinted, he could just make out her shape in the dark. "Your seeing-feet earthbender is here."

"I never relax." Zuko grumbled. "And really? _Seeing feet_?"

"I'll admit that needs some work." Toph said. "Also I'm going to take your hand now."

He was grateful for the warning, even though it still startled him when Toph suddenly reached out to grab his said hand. He let the earthbender haul him to his feet, unsteady in the darkness. He exhaled, trying to find his center, suddenly desperately wishing for a light. It was so much darker in here than it was in the forest, even when the moon was invisible in the night sky.

He could make one, he knew. It would be easy. It _should _be easy.

It wasn't.

"This is stupid," he mumbled, "-I'm a _firebender_. I should be able to make my own light."

"You're not stupid." Toph said, taking a step forward, and then another. She was unerring the darkness, using the very earth underneath their feet to guide their way while he just clung to her, _useless_, all thanks to a situation _he'd _created. "You're just scared. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Easy for you to say." Zuko huffed, nevertheless following Toph's lead. "You're not afraid of anything."

_Least of all your own element_, he mentally added.

"As much as I would like that to be true, I've got plenty of things I'm afraid of." Toph said. "Anything that separates me from the earth is a total no go for me. I like being able to see."

Zuko blinked- he'd never thought of it like that before. But also...

"I did that back at Earth Rumble, didn't I?" Zuko winced. "When I picked you up."

Toph just scoffed. "_Please_. I wasn't afraid, just _embarrassed_. You slung me over your shoulders like I was a bag of rice or something!"

"But," Toph quickly added, "-I knew you wouldn't drop me."

It was true. He wouldn't have. He wouldn't let anything hurt Toph, much less himself.

That was why he couldn't use fire. Fire burned, fire _destroyed_. It was hard to forget its destructive power when it was permanently burned into his face for all to see, when the stink of boiling flesh and burning hair still haunted his nightmares even months later.

When he could still hear the sound of his own screams.

Fire was dangerous. _Too _dangerous. Even the smallest spark could turn into a wildfire, burning out of control and destroying everything in its path. He couldn't use it.

He _wouldn't _use it.

He came to such an abrupt halt that Toph nearly stumbled over her own feet, but he barely even noticed. He hadn't even... when had it gone from couldn't, to _wouldn't_? When had his fear turned into outright refusal?

He hadn't even noticed.

He swallowed, feeling his inner flame flicker in response. It was weak- had been, ever since the Agni Kai. Now it was weaker than ever, barely any bigger than those of the candles he'd snuffed out by accident, all because he _refused _to firebend. He'd thought being able to warm things with his bending again had been a victory. Maybe all this time, it had just been a concession. He couldn't hurt anyone with a little warmth- but fire? Fire could hurt, it could maim, it could scar-

-it could kill.

Yun's cousin. Old Lady An's grandsons. So many others he didn't know, would never meet. How many people had died in the burned out ruins that had once been villages? He'd passed so many of them on his journey, heading deeper and deeper into the Earth Kingdom, seeking a place that wasn't yet touched by the war his people- his _family_\- had started.

Zuko shuddered, moving to pull his hand away from Toph's. He was a _firebender_, he was dangerous, he shouldn't- he shouldn't be touching her. Shouldn't be _near _her, or anyone else for that matter. It wasn't just _Toph _he could hurt. It was everyone here, everyone who had been kind to him, even when they really shouldn't have been.

One day the kitchen fires _wouldn't _be out when he lost control. One day it wouldn't be snuffing out flames by accident, but rather-

Toph didn't let him. She just gripped his hand harder, her nails almost biting into his skin. He hissed, and she relaxed her grip slightly, but still didn't let go.

"You're not afraid of getting hurt again, are you?" Toph asked. "You're afraid of hurting someone else."

Zuko didn't say anything. He didn't have to for Toph to know she was right.

For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Then Toph let out a huff of air, before stomping forward, half-dragging him with her. She pulled him along with all the stubbornness of an earthbender, refusing to let him dig in his heels and stand his ground. Their earth was hers to command, and she did it as naturally as she did breathing.

Finally, they came to a halt at the edge of the arena. Without letting go of his hand, Toph stomped her foot, the sound of earth shifting towards them meeting his ears. Toph reached out and grabbed something, all but shoving it into his hand- _hands_, because she'd finally let go of his other one.

Not knowing what else to do, he took it. It was one of the two lanterns he'd borrowed originally. He could tell by the fact that it was metal, not stone, like the ones Toph had made herself.

"Light the flame." Toph said, with a firmness that almost reminded him of Uncle.

Zuko swallowed, then shook his head. "No."

"You're not going to hurt me, Li." Toph said, more firmly this time. "And this isn't good for you. Light the flame."

But two could play at that game. Zuko shoved the lantern right back at her, narrowing his eyes. "I said no."

Toph shoved the lantern right back, stomping her foot out of pure stubbornness. "I'm an _earth_bender, Li. Earth smothers flame."

"Well it's done a bad job of it so far!" Zuko snapped, suddenly losing his temper. "But then, what would you know? Your parents keep you _away _from the war. You haven't seen what my people have done to yours, and _have _been doing for almost a century now! Not that you even _could_!"

Toph went rigid, and instantly, Zuko felt the fight go out of him.

"I'm sorry," Zuko said quickly, "-I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have said that."

"So what?" Toph asked. "Are you just blaming yourself for everything the Fire Nation has ever done? That's stupid, Li. You can't do that."

In spite of himself, Zuko felt himself bristle. He'd just apologized to her, and she just- she didn't understand _anything!_ He was the _Fire Prince_, and banished or not, that meant he bore the responsibility of his people's actions.

"You don't get it, do you?" Zuko asked. "I'm-!"

"Stop." Toph cut him off. "Just _stop_, Li."

Zuko snapped his mouth shut, glowering at a floor he couldn't even see.

"You can't do this." Toph finally spoke again, her voice quieter this time, but still deeply frustrated. "You can't just _not bend_."

"You don't get it." Zuko said. "Fire's not like earth. All it can do is _destroy_."

"Earth can destroy too." Toph said.

"Earth can _create_." Zuko retorted. "Fire can't."

Toph said nothing, but he could hear her shifting in the dark. Then finally-

"You're not even going to try, are you?"

"No," Zuko said, "-I won't."

* * *

They didn't talk after that.

Toph still helped lead him out of the pitch black cavern, but she didn't say a word the entire time, or on the way back to the manor. They went their separate ways without saying a word to each other.

It was, he realized, their first real fight.

He dreamed of Azula's smile that night.

* * *

They didn't say a word to each other the next day either.

Zuko carried out his duties without fail, escorting Toph wordlessly around the manor grounds. People definitely noticed, but nobody wanted to say anything.

He didn't wait up to see if she was going to sneak out that night. He didn't have to.

He knew she wouldn't.

That night he dreamed of the Earth Kingdom in ashes, his father standing victorious over the ruins of Gaoling.

His sister wasn't smiling anymore.

* * *

He was on chore duty with Xia-Su the next day, the two of them tasked with folding and returning washed laundry. He'd gotten better at it since his first time, when he couldn't even begin to figure out what went where. There was something almost meditative about folding clothes.

Too bad he wasn't in a meditating mood.

"So," Xia-Su began, apparently having decided that she'd had enough of beating around the bush, "-are you fighting with the young miss?"

"Not exactly." Zuko said, not looking up from the tunic he was folding.

He could feel Xia-Su's eyes on him, her skepticism clear in her voice. "So you're just not talking to each other for no reason, then."

"I don't see how it concerns _you_." Zuko blurted out, before wincing. Xia-Su was just trying to help. Lashing out at her was the _last _thing he should be doing.

But when she spoke next, she didn't seem the least bit bothered. "Of course it does. You're a part of us now. We-"

"-look after each other." Zuko finished. "Yeah. I remember."

"So?" Xia-Su asked. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." Zuko lied. He couldn't tell her what was _actually _wrong, and it wasn't like he could just make something up on the fly. Just because he did it all the time now, didn't make him any good at lying. "It'll pass."

In lieu of a response, Xia-Su simply hummed, lapsing back into silence. They were nearly done folding the laundry when he chanced a look at her, carefully studying the older servant. She stood with her weight primarily on her left foot, avoiding putting too much of it on her bad leg.

"You can ask, you know."

Zuko jerked his head up, his eyes going from her leg to her face. She was looking right at him, her deep brown eyes soft in a way his gold ones had never quite been capable of. His mother's had been golden too, but they'd always been a softer gold, _warmer_.

He'd always had his father's eyes.

"Ask about what?" Zuko ducked his head, wishing his bangs would hurry up and finish growing out already.

"My leg." Xia-Su said. "You want to know, right?"

"I figured it was something you didn't want to talk about." Zuko said, suddenly keenly aware that she was standing on his left.

"I wasn't able to for years." Xia-Su admitted.

Zuko swallowed, shifting on his feet. He still didn't know if he should. It felt like an invasion of her privacy, even if she'd said it was okay.

In the end, curiosity won out.

"So," Zuko hesitated slightly, "-what happened?"

"It was my father." Xia-Su said- and suddenly, he wished he had more laundry to fold, if only to hide the way his hands twitched in response. "He was always a mean drunk, ever since I was a little girl. He used to be part of the Earth Kingdom army, before they tossed him out. Then he got even worse."

"Why," and he hated the way his breath hitched in his throat, how he couldn't help but picture his own father's face, "-why did they toss him out?"

Xia-Su's expression hardened. It was the first time he'd ever seen her look like that. "It wasn't the drinking."

She didn't elaborate. He picked up the signal loud and clear. Whatever he'd done, it wasn't something children needed to hear.

Xia-Su exhaled. It suddenly dawned on him that _she _wished her hands were probably still busy too. "We used to live in a port town, not all that far from Ba Sing Se. I was about your age when the Fire Nation showed up to use it as a base for their troops."

And all too quickly, he realized part of where this story was headed.

"The Siege of Ba Sing Se," he mumbled.

Xia-Su hummed in confirmation. "Having so many Fire Nation soldiers around just made my father's drinking even worse. He used to just yell a lot, but after the soldiers came, he started wanting to fight. Only he never fought the right people."

"You," the words just slipped out before he could stop it, "-he tried to fight you."

"He got really mad one night." Xia-Su said. "I don't even remember what it was that he was mad about, but at some point, yelling and shouting just wasn't enough."

She had to stop to compose herself, taking in a deep breath. He chanced a look up at her, but she wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were far away, some place else entirely. In the past, probably- back when she was a little girl with an angry father and nowhere to go.

"Yang reminds me of him, sometimes." She said, in a quiet voice. "He was an earthbender too."

Something finally clicked into place. No wonder she'd sounded so worried.

"I tried to run away from him." Xia-Su said. "He wasn't having that. He trapped my leg, but I was already running, so..."

She shuddered, resting her hand on her right leg. He wondered if she was feeling the phantom pain of an injury received long ago. You couldn't just stop that much momentum so abruptly. Not without consequences.

"He wasn't even sorry." Xia-Su mumbled. "He thought I deserved it."

"You didn't." Zuko replied automatically, because she hadn't.

She hadn't, and neither had he.

"No," Xia-Su agreed, "-I didn't."

"So... what happened to him after that?" Zuko asked. "Your father, I mean."

Xia-Su almost snorted. "It was after curfew, and I screamed so loudly that I attracted the attention of the nightly patrol. Turns out not even Fire Nation soldiers can stomach fathers breaking their own daughter's legs. They arrested him on the spot. I never saw him again after that."

Zuko frowned, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. Somehow, out of all the ways the story could have ended, he hadn't expected it to be with the Fire Nation actually _helping _someone for once, even if these had been his Uncle's men. He'd been a different person back then, after all.

Then again, he didn't think even _that _Uncle would have approved of fathers hurting little girls they were supposed to protect.

"After that, it just never healed quite right." Xia finished with a shrug. "Come on. We should get this laundry delivered before people start to riot. And by people, I mean the guy who never gives us his laundry until he's worn every piece of clothing he owns first."

"You can just say Yun," Zuko said, "-it's okay."

Xia-Su laughed, scooping up her laundry basket. Balancing it on her left hip, she took a step forward, half-dragging her right leg behind her.

"Are you ever scared of them?" Zuko blurted out before he could stop himself. "Of earthbenders, I mean."

Xia-Su glanced back at him, her gaze only briefly flickering in the direction of his scar. "I think I was more afraid of the earth turning against me again. I couldn't go outside for months, even after I'd healed."

"How did you... how did you get past that?" Zuko asked.

"Time, mostly." Xia-Su told him. "Some things you just can't rush. But if you give it time, and you never stop trying, even the worst damage can heal."

"Your leg never did." Zuko countered.

"No, I suppose it didn't." Xia-Su admitted. "But I can still walk. I just had to learn a new way of doing it."

Zuko swallowed, before ducking his head and pushing past Xia-Su, muttering a faint apology. He needed some time to think.

* * *

He wondered if the survivors from the forty-first division were afraid of the earth turning against them too.

He wondered if there even _were _any.

* * *

"So."

Toph didn't look up, or even turn around to face him. "So."

Zuko sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Sitting down behind Toph, he rested his hands in his lap. He'd been thinking a lot, but the one thing he kept coming back to was the fact that he needed to try and make up with Toph. This wasn't something he wanted to lose her friendship over.

"I'm sorry about before." Zuko finally said. "You were just trying to help."

"Yep." Toph agreed. "But for what its worth, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you. Earthbending is all about waiting and listening, but I wasn't doing much of either."

"I mean... you were right." Zuko admitted, more to himself than to Toph. "Being scared is one thing, but I can't just- I can't run away from what I am."

He'd been trying to, he realized. It was easier than trying to face his fears, trying to face the prospect that he might have to start over from scratch. Maybe if he just kept telling himself he couldn't firebend, he'd stop being a firebender.

But it didn't work like that. He couldn't just _stop _being a firebender. And he... he probably shouldn't, even if he could. That would just be running away.

He was a lot of things, but no matter what his father thought, a coward wasn't one of them. Cowards were fathers who burnt the faces of their begging sons, fathers who broke the legs of daughters trying to flee their violence.

"So you're not giving up on bending?" Toph asked.

"No." Zuko shook his head. "But I think it's going to take me a little while longer to get past this block."

"Good." Toph said. "I was worried."

"I know you were." Zuko smiled, finally identifying what that odd feeling that bubbled up from his stomach was. It had been too long since he'd felt _safe_.

"And... thanks," he added, "-for being worried."

"Can we stop not talking now?" Toph asked. "It's getting pretty old."

"It's only been one day." Zuko pointed out. "And we're talking right now."

Toph quirked a grin, finally turning around. "Good point."

"I make a lot of good points, actually." Zuko said.

"Really? Cause that's news to me." Toph cracked. "I thought that head of yours was filled with nothing but air."

"What do I look like," Zuko began, the edges of his lips curling into a grin, "-an airbender?"

Toph blinked- and then grinned right back. "Gee, Scruffy, I don't know. What _do _you look like?"

"Wouldn't _you _like to know." Zuko said, with every ounce of mock smugness he could muster- which was a lot, actually. He _had _been a spoiled prince once.

Toph pretended to consider it for a few moments, before eventually shrugging. "You know what? I actually don't care."

Zuko laughed. He still hadn't solved his bending problem, but at the very least he wasn't fighting with Toph anymore. Never firebending again would still be more preferable to losing his best friend to some stupid fight.

"So," Toph began, "-about that stage name. I have a few ideas..."


	8. two birthdays in the earth kingdom (toph

Was not one hundred percent sure if I would finish editing this tonight, but I seem to have made it! Not sure if this will be my last fic post of the decade or not, but it might very well be, seeing as there's only three days of it left. I might be able to pump out the next heart of a dragon update in that time, but really... should I? Probably not, no, not unless everyone wants to read something super rushed lol.

Anyways, new chapter! Time for birthdays! Next update will be about Zuko's birthday, which will likely be told entirely in outside POV. I'm really looking forward to writing that one, so stay tuned! I hope everyone finishes out this year strong, and I'll see you all in 2020!

* * *

**kintsugi**

**two birthdays in the earth kingdom**

**toph chapter**

* * *

"No wait- I think I've got it."

"Well don't hold back, Scruffy." Toph said. "Let's hear it."

No matter how much she'd refined it, there were still things her earth sense couldn't tell her- and people's expressions were one of them. Still, she didn't need working eyesight to know that Li was currently looking at her _very _seriously, doubtlessly way more seriously than anything that was about to come out of his mouth would merit.

"The Earth Rumbler."

"Wow," Toph arched her brows, "-you weren't kidding about being bad at naming things."

Li huffed, folding his arms in front of him. It was too easy to picture that scruffy mop of hair he had bristling like a baby boar-q-pine. "Well if you have any better ideas, I'd love to hear them."

"Actually," Toph said, "-I've had a name in mind for awhile now."

"You have?" Li asked. "For how long?"

"Since five days ago." Toph said.

"Five- and you've just let me spend the last _five days_ coming up with awful stage names?" Li asked, sounding almost betrayed. His voice even cracked a little.

Toph grinned. "You seemed like you were having fun. I didn't want to get in the way."

Li stared at her for a few moments, before throwing up his hands in frustration. "You know what? Fine. I don't even know why I tried."

Toph snickered, knowing all too well that he wasn't _actually _upset. An upset Li was a quiet Li, so if he was being _this _dramatic, it was a pretty good sign that he was just frustrated. With their last fight still fresh in her memory, actually upsetting him was the _last _thing she wanted to do.

Pressing him had been a mistake. She realized that now, but at the time she'd just been so frustrated and so _appalled _when she'd realized that Li wasn't just _unable _to firebend, but that he didn't _want _to. Bending didn't work that way- even her parents knew better than to keep her from earthbending entirely. It just wasn't healthy for a bender to not bend, especially not for such a long period of time. Li might be fine now, but eventually...

She'd just been _scared_, really. She'd finally made a friend, and now it was like that friend was trying to destroy themselves from the inside out. So she'd pushed, thinking that if she could just get him to light one candle, that maybe he could take that first step to getting his firebending back.

She hadn't been _wrong _but... it hadn't been the right time, and it hadn't been the right way. She was just glad that they'd been able to make up. She wasn't sure what she'd do if Li had _stayed _mad at her.

"So?" Li said, sounding expectant. "What's this great name of yours?"

Toph beamed, folding her arms and confidently lifting her chin. "The Blind Bandit."

"The Blind Bandit." Li repeated, his tone way too unimpressed for the cool name she'd come up with. "Really? _That's _your great stage name? What are you even stealing?"

"The win, obviously."

"That's-" Li began, before cutting himself off, actually seeming to consider it for a moment, "-that's actually not too bad."

"Right?" Toph grinned. "The Boulder may have won this Rumble, but at Earth Rumble Five? I'm coming for his blood."

"Like literally or-?"

"Yeah, I was planning on just stabbing him." Toph said, making the motion with her hand before snorting. "Of course not, dumbass. Don't they teach you about figures of speech in the Fire Nation?"

"Who even taught you that word?" Li asked, completely ignoring the rest of her statement. "_I _didn't teach you that word."

"Li, you spent ten minutes calling Fire Nation Man a dumbass the other day." Toph pointed out.

(Among other things. It had been a very informative rant.)

"That... might have possibly happened." Li said, which was as close as he would get to admitting it definitely absolutely had happened and he just didn't want to be honest about the fact that he had an unimaginably dirty mouth for a thirteen year old.

Well, maybe. It wasn't like she had much experience with swearing either. All she knew was that if she was going to be a part of the next Earth Rumble, then she _had _to step up her trash talk game. She might be the greatest earthbender in the world, but she wouldn't get anywhere if she could throw down insults with the best of them.

"It's okay, Scruffy." Toph said. "Your secret's safe with me."

Li just snorted. "I _hope _they're safe with you."

"I swear it on the spirits of the earth." Toph said. "Plus whatever crazy spirits you Fire Nation folk worship."

Li groaned. "Please tell me they at least teach you about our spirits."

"Do they teach you about _our _spirits?" Toph countered.

Li opened his mouth to say something, only to think better of it. "No. At least my tutors didn't."

His heart rate picked up immediately after he said that, so she was going to go out on a limb and guess that he hadn't meant to elaborate. Then again, it wasn't like this wasn't something she didn't already know- Scruffy's scruffiness wasn't _quite _enough to mask his noble upbringing.

At least, not to _her_. Her parents, on the other hand...

Well, her mother still thought she was performing a great act of charity by taking what she thought was a homeless, orphaned refugee in. And her father definitely hadn't realized the fact that if Li really _were _Earth Kingdom, like he said he was, he'd be yet another one of the boys from noble families that he was putting on a list to arrange her marriage to.

(She didn't know if he _actually _had a physical list. But he was definitely keeping track.)

"So what _do _they teach you about us?" Toph asked, unable to deny her curiosity. Li didn't talk about the Fire Nation much- not without some prompting on her part.

She could almost feel Li's wince. "Do you want the honest answer?"

"Wouldn't have asked if I didn't." Toph shrugged.

"That you're all savages who need to be saved from yourselves." Li said. "I mean, they used fancier words than that, but that's basically what it boils down to."

"Huh," Toph said, arching a brow, "-because _my _tutors taught me that _you're _the savages. The bloodthirsty, warmongering kind."

Li snorted, but it was the dry, humorless sort. "Well, they're not exactly _wrong_."

"Eh, the Earth Kingdom can be a little backwards too. At least the Fire Nation actually lets its women _do _stuff." Toph shrugged, before tilting her head slightly. "So if _you're _a savage, and _I'm _a savage, then which one of us is driving this carriage?"

"Hopefully someone who can actually _see_."

She hadn't realized what good acoustics her private training cavern had until she had someone around to keep her company. Her cackle practically bounced off the walls, loud and gleeful.

(It also made Li's quiet laugh all the louder.)

* * *

"You want to try tonight?"

Her earth sense _was _precise enough to tell her that Li wasn't looking at her- but that he was looking at one of the lanterns.

"No," he finally said, "-not tonight."

Toph pretended not to be disappointed. But at the same time, if there was one thing their fight had taught her, it was that Scruffy needed to heal at his _own _pace, not hers.

"That's okay," she said, "-you can try again tomorrow."

* * *

"You know," Yun piped up, "-the little lady's birthday is at the end of the month."

Zuko blinked, glancing up at the older man. "What's your point?"

"Aren't you going to get her something?" Yun asked, stepping to the side to let him get to the communal pot. "You two are friends, right?"

Zuko just snorted, ladling a generous portion of congee into his bowl. He'd only recently learned that nobody would get mad at him for taking a little more. In fact, whenever he tried to take less, he usually ended up with one of the other servants ladling more into his bowl for him, typically over his own protests.

(_"You're a growing boy,"_ Old Lady An had told him when he'd protested one too many times for her taste, "_-you have to eat more than the rest of us old folks."_)

"What could I even get her?" Zuko asked. "She's _rich_."

He tried very, _very _hard to keep any possible bitterness out of his tone.

He wasn't so sure he succeeded.

"Ah, I'm sure you'll figure out something." Yun said. "You could always buy her flowers. Girls love flowers!"

"She's _nine_," Zuko said, and then, almost as an afterthought, "-and blind. I don't think she'd be very interested in flowers."

"You could always try sweet cakes." Xia-Su said, scooting over a little to give him a bit more room on the bench. "I know for a fact the young miss likes those."

Zuko sat next to her, setting down his bowl of congee. "I don't think I could buy any that are better than what she usually gets."

The truth was he'd never actually _given _anyone a birthday present before, not really. He'd gotten them, sure- usually from his mother or his Uncle, or from Lu Ten, when he'd still been alive. He'd made an attempt to give Mai one once, but he hadn't actually been able to work up the nerve to do it.

(It was probably for the best. Azula would have just destroyed it anyways.)

"You're overthinking this." Old Lady An remarked, wagging her spoon at him almost accusingly. "It's the thought that counts when it comes to presents, not the content."

Zuko frowned, unsure what to say to that. He'd argue that the content was pretty important too- otherwise they'd just end up like that doll Uncle had sent Azula from Ba Sing Se. While he doubted that Toph was the type to set unwanted presents on fire, he still didn't want to give her something that she didn't actually _want_.

"You could always ask." Xia-Su suggested.

"He can't do that!" Yun protested. "It would spoil the surprise!"

"_What _surprise?" Xia-Su asked. "I'm fairly certain the young miss knows when her own birthday is."

"Yeah, but then she'd know what he was getting her." Yun countered. "If you don't ask, then you can-"

Zuko just ate his congee in silence, listening to a tea server and a house maid bicker about gift giving etiquette. He'd stopped wondering about the curveball that was his life around the time Earth Kingdom nobles had hired him to be a bodyguard for a girl who really didn't need one, and had stopped thinking anything could be bizarre right around the third time said daughter had handed his ass to him in a makeshift underground arena.

This? This was just normal.

* * *

"You know, your father and I were thinking-"

And there was a phrase that never lead to anything good.

"-you will turn ten at the end of the month. Nearly a young lady! We should have a banquet in your honor."

_In her honor_, her foot. All her parents wanted was an excuse to schmooze with other nobles- and maybe show her off to any potential suitors. If she had any say in the matter, she'd put her foot down and refuse the whole kit and caboodle, but she didn't.

"That sounds wonderful, mother." Toph said instead, all fake smiles and cheerfulness. "Will Li be able to come?"

"He will guard you, yes, as is his duty," her father began, "-but Toph, you must understand that you are not to talk to him during the banquet. It would be... _unseemly_."

_Unseemly_. Toph wanted to gag.

"I am quite certain Li understands this as well." Her mother said, in a tone that suggested she only ever saw what she wanted to see. And what she wanted to see when she looked at Li was a dutiful servant boy- so that was exactly what she got.

"Of course." Toph said. "Who is to be invited?"

If she was going to put up with this, she'd at least like a little fair warning as to who she would be dealing with.

* * *

As his daughter left the room, Lao Beifong made brief eye contact with her bodyguard. The boy held his gaze for only a few brief seconds, before he bowed to him. In return, Lao slightly inclined his head in acknowledgement, watching Li as he escorted his daughter away so that she could prepare for her first lesson of the day.

He'd had his doubts about Li in those first few weeks, but to his surprise, the boy had proven himself to be dutiful, if nothing else. Properly washed and attired, he looked presentable enough- if one could somehow manage to ignore the burn. He had no complaints about his work ethic, and his manners were almost impeccable, especially surprising since it was doubtful that he could have been little more than a peasant's child, even before the war had forced him to flee from his home.

Rather than wane, his friendship with his daughter had only grown stronger. Toph was clearly happier than ever, and he would be lying if he claimed that seeing her so happy did not lift his spirits in turn.

But his daughter was also at that delicate age where it was easy to forget her own station. That was the sort of behavior that brought about _scandals_, and he would not allow the Beifong family to fall into such foolishness. Theirs was a noble lineage, tracing back generations, and he was not about to see it become tainted under his watch.

But he supposed this trouble would pass soon enough. He was coming to understand that there was a certain wisdom in his decision to hire Li as his daughter's bodyguard. The scar that had disfigured him so badly also gave the boy a certain _menace_. After all, if he looked this intimidating at thirteen, he couldn't even begin to imagine how much more so he would look as an adult. He might never even need to draw his swords- a simple glare would be deterrent enough.

And that, Lao decided, was worth its weight in gold.

(And worth, hopefully, the gnawing feeling he got in the pit of his stomach whenever the boy's eyes looked especially so.)

* * *

"So how does someone even _sign up_ for an Earth Rumble?"

Toph paused mid-step, tilting her head. "I have no idea."

"We probably should look into that." Li said, coming to a halt next to her.

"Probably." Toph said, resuming walking. She liked this part- the part where they chatted freely and openly while heading to their sparring grounds almost as much as she liked the sparring itself. "And by we, I of course mean _you_."

"What," Li began, "-don't feel like shaking down the criminal underbelly of Gaoling with me to find out how a person takes part in their illegal earthbending fight club?"

"As tempting as that sounds, I'll pass." Toph said. "Imagine what would happen if I got caught by the guards."

"Imagine what would happen if _I _got caught by the guards." Li countered. "I'm not exactly unrecognizable, Toph."

"Really? That's news to me, Scruffy."

In truth, she kind of knew that. It was kind of hard _not _to. She wished she could pass on some of her confidence to Li, because apparently just being half-blind wasn't enough to stop him from feeling self-conscious about his own supposedly ruined looks. It certainly didn't matter to _her _that the burn his father had given him had left him disfigured, but it seemed to matter to _Li_, so that was what really mattered.

She got the feeling he appreciated having someone around who couldn't see it nevertheless.

Li snorted, taking her words as the joke they were meant as. "Come on. You can't tell me that you don't want to rough up some ruffians."

"_Ruffians_?" Toph asked. "Geez, Scruffy, make it more obvious you used to have actual status, why don't you?"

"...is it that obvious?" Li asked. She was pretty sure he _winced_.

"To me?" Toph said. "It's super obvious. But I'm not sure my parents have noticed."

"That's... probably for the best." Li said. "The less questions they have about my past, the better. Somehow I don't think they'd react all that well if they knew I was Fire Nation."

Toph considered it for a few seconds, before grunting in agreement. "Yeah, you're probably on to something there, Scruffy."

"Good to know." Li said. "So do you want to come or not?"

"I thought you were against the idea." Toph said.

"I mean, we could always just wear masks." Li shrugged. "Nobody would recognize us then."

Toph grinned. "I think you just want to beat up some _ruffians_."

She'd nudge him with her elbow, but she was currently walking by his left side. Scruffy still got pretty jumpy whenever someone tried to touch him from that side, even if it was her. Actually, he still got pretty jumpy when _anyone _tried to touch him at all, but they'd started to work out something of an understanding. She didn't know if it was just because she was a kid like him, or if it meant that he trusted her. Either way, she didn't want to be the source of one of his freak outs, even if she didn't meant to be.

And even if he tried _very hard_ to act like he wasn't freaking out. Maybe if she wasn't blind, he actually might have been able to fool her, but his heartbeat didn't lie.

"Look, do you want in or not?" Li asked.

"Hey, I'm _all _for beating up a couple of crooks." Toph shrugged. "But I don't exactly think that's the best idea. I mean, won't they just figure it out later when I show up at the next Earth Rumble? I don't know if you've noticed, but there weren't an awful lot of participants my height."

"That... might actually be a good point." Li admitted. "When did you get so smart?"

"Please, I've always been this smart." Toph said, puffing out her chest. "You just don't think things through, that's all."

"I think things through!" Li protested.

"Yeah?" Toph asked. "Like when?"

Li remained noticeably silent.

"Can't think of anything, can you?" Toph asked. "That's okay. I think it's one of your charm points."

"Gee, thanks." Li said dryly. She was pretty sure he'd just rolled his eyes.

"Any time." Toph said, coming to a halt in front of the entrance to what had become their own personal sparring arena, stomping on the ground to form the tunnel. "Now come on. I'm _dying _to blow off some steam after today."

"Yeah, I kind of figured." Li said. "Are your parents really trying to-?"

"Pretty much." Toph said. "I mean, I think I've got another two years or so before they actually make any serious commitments, but in their viewpoint, I'm not exactly good for much else but being married off to the highest bidder that will take me."

"Well if they can't see how amazing you are, _they're _the blind ones." Li told her.

"Thanks." Toph smiled. "I mean, I know that much already, but it's always nice to hear someone else say it."

It really was, actually. It was funny. She didn't realize just how much she _needed _someone like Li until he was already in her life. She wondered if it was the same way for him- if he ever felt like she was a missing piece that had fallen into place, something he'd needed all along, but hadn't even realized was missing.

"So," Toph said, changing the topic before things could get too mushy, "-you ever have that problem? You know, back when you were Lord Fancypants, back in the Fire Nation?"

"I was never _Lord Fancypants_." Li protested, even though she knew that was a lie. "And I don't really know. I know there were always offers of marriage from other noble families, but I don't now how seriously fat- how seriously they were being considered."

She pretended not to notice the slip-up, just like Li pretended he hadn't made it. "Yeah? No little sparkfire waiting for you back home?"

"I didn't say _that_." Li huffed. "But I'd be surprised if she was actually waiting for me, what with being banished and all. And even if she was, I don't think her parents would let her."

Toph hummed. She really wanted to pursue the topic more- mostly the banishment thing. She didn't exactly care all that much for romance.

She already knew that he couldn't go home, but banished? As in, _literally _banished? Just how bad had he messed up to have _that _happen? And just who was his father that he could have that arranged so easily?

Probably some jerk general who had the Fire Lord's ear, she thought. Well, whoever they were, if she ever met them, they could be damn sure she'd give them a taste of the Earth Kingdom. Preferably on the left side of their face.

Let's see how _they _liked being disfigured.

* * *

"How about tonight?"

Li looked towards the lanterns, shifting slightly on his feet, before shaking his head. "I don't think tonight's good."

She shrugged. "Tomorrow, then."

"Yeah... maybe tomorrow."

* * *

"So, you figure out what to get her yet?"

"No, Yun, I haven't figured out what to get Toph yet." Zuko replied, fighting the urge to groan. "And this is the third time you've asked me that."

"It's your first birthday with the little lady since you joined us." Yun shrugged, squinting at the plate he was cleaning, probably trying to determine if that was a real speck or just a trick of the light. "I just want to make sure things go well."

"Thanks," Zuko said, "-but I think I've got it handled."

He absolutely did not have it handled. Days were ticking past, and he still hadn't thought up a present for Toph. And the more time passed, the more he felt like he _had _to get her something. They were supposed to be friends, weren't they? And Toph had done so much for him, more than she would ever know, so he had to pay her back _somehow_.

He just... didn't know _how_.

Setting the questionably clean plate back in the bucket, Yun gave him a long look. "Yeah, sorry if I doubt that, kid."

Zuko shot him a glare.

Yun just snorted. "Kid, I've seen you stick your finger with a needle five times in a row while trying to learn how to mend clothes. You can't scare _me _with that glare."

Yeah, he didn't think so either. But it was worth trying.

"Look," Yun said, "-clearly you're new at this gift-giving thing. So how about I take you to town on your next day off? Maybe we can find something the little lady will like."

"What makes you the gift giving expert?" Zuko asked, then added, "-and I don't have any days off."

"No days off!" Yun exclaimed, his eyes wide with horror. "Nope. Nun-uh. That won't do. I'll petition Lord Beifong myself if I have to. You're _thirteen_, you can't just work non-stop with no days off."

"I wouldn't exactly call it _work_." Zuko said. "All I do is escort Toph around the manor."

Besides, it wasn't like he never had any breaks. Sometimes Toph's parents would send him away for hours. He just... hadn't had any actual days off since coming here, that was all. It didn't seem that strange to him- none of the servants back home had days off either, so he just assumed that was how it worked.

Then again, the Beifong servants had days off, so maybe...

"Besides, if La- Lord Beifong," Zuko hastily corrected himself, "-wanted me to have time off, he would give it to me."

Yun just stared at him like he'd just said something stupid. It was a look he was becoming incredibly familiar with. "That's not... that's not how-"

"Right," Yun muttered, half to himself, "-of course you wouldn't know. Lord Beifong doesn't schedule our days off. You have to ask Miyuki, and she'll pass on all such requests to him for approval. That's part of her job as head servant."

Zuko's cheeks flushed, the water in his bucket growing slightly warmer in response. "Oh. Um. I didn't- I didn't know that."

Yun just sighed, patting him on the shoulder. He flinched at the touch, and almost automatically, the older man withdrew his hand. "Don't worry about it, kid. But we're getting you that day off."

"Do we have to-?"

"Yes, we have to." Yun said firmly. "You only have two weeks until the little lady's birthday! Two weeks, Li!"

"I know how to count, thanks." Zuko grumbled, reigning in his embarrassment before his water started to steam. Even that small, involuntarily act of firebending caused his inner flame to flicker in response, and he could feel it yearning to do _more_.

Toph was right. This wasn't good for him.

"It's settled, then." Yun said. "The end of the week, you and I will go into town and pick out a present for the little lady."

"How is it settled? I haven't even-" Zuko began, but Yun had already turned away, flagging down a passing Xia-Su.

"Xia-Su!" Yun called out. "I'm taking the kid present shopping on my next day off! You should come with us!"

Xia-Su merely arched a brow, looking between the mustached man and him. "And Li agreed to this?"

"I haven't-"

"Sure has!" Yun beamed.

Xia-Su held his gaze for a second longer, before shrugging. "Sure, sounds fun. And someone needs to help save you from Yun's _ideas_."

Yun frowned, his brow crinkling. "You know, between you and Li, I'm starting to think the younger generation is full of sass."

Zuko had to bite back a laugh. He couldn't help but think of Toph, who was even younger than him- and infinitely sassier.

"You have _no _idea."

* * *

"I guess I have a day off tomorrow?"

"You _guess_?" Toph asked, even as she easily avoided Li's most recent attempt at a feint. One of these days he'd learn they never worked. "Shouldn't you be _sure_?"

"It was decided pretty suddenly." Li remarked, leaping backwards in time to avoid her responding pillar of rock. "And mostly without my input."

"This isn't something I should be worried about, should it?" Toph asked. She wasn't detecting any irregularities in Li's heartbeat, but it never hurt to ask. She was starting to get the feeling that his barometer for _fine _was way off.

"Not really." Li said. "Two of the other servants heard I hadn't taken a day off yet, and roped me into going on a shopping trip with them."

Which didn't feel like a lie, but there was definitely something he was leaving out.

"Shopping, huh?" Toph asked, darting out of the way of Li's next attack. His speed was just a bit of a problem, especially now that he'd gotten better at predicting _her _moves. "Shopping for anything in particular?"

"No," Li lied, "-just, you know... totally normal shopping."

Toph fought the urge to grin, because she was pretty sure she'd figured out what- and _who_\- he was shopping for. And it touched her that he'd was thinking of her, even if truthfully, he didn't need to give her a present, not when he _was _the present.

Though she _was _curious to see what he'd come up with.

"Well," Toph said, countering his follow-up attack with a slab of rock, "-if you find a sense of humor, be sure to get it."

"Thanks, Toph." Li's tone was as dry as the desert that surrounded Ba Sing Se. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

Toph just beamed.

* * *

"How about tonight?"

Li looked towards the lanterns for a long time before reaching out a hand- and then dropped it, shaking his head. "No. Not tonight."

She just gave him a light punch on his right shoulder for the trouble, taking pains to make sure he knew it was coming so that he didn't flinch. "You'll get there."

"Thanks." Li said- before viciously attacking her hair, too quick for her to stop him. "Now let's go home."

Toph blinked at his choice of words, before she smiled. "Yeah. _Home_."

It was feeling a little more like one to her these days too.

* * *

Compared to the tiny villages he'd passed through on his way here, Gaoling was practically bustling. It still wasn't as lively as the Caldera, but then, that might be his own nostalgic longing for the city of his birth coloring his impression.

It also made him feel keenly out of place. Everywhere he looked, there were people in Earth Kingdom colors, green and brown and yellow- and while he was wearing brown himself, he still couldn't shake the feeling that he stuck out like a sore thumb, a firebender in a foreign land that justifiably hated his kind.

It made him feel strangely glad for the company.

"So, uh," Zuko shifted awkwardly on his feet, glancing between Yun and Xia-Su, "-where do we start?"

"Why, that would be-!"

"If you're going to say flowers again," Xia-Su cut Yun off, "-then I'm going to take Li and leave you behind."

Yun snapped his mouth shut. "I wasn't going to say flowers."

"Good." Xia-Su said. "I was thinking we could start on the artisan's street and work our way down. I'm sure we'll find something from the young miss."

"Artisan's street?" Zuko asked.

"It's where the finest artisans in all of Gaoling gather!" Yun said with a dramatic sweep of his hand. "Some might say the finest artisans in all of the southern Earth Kingdom!"

"Isn't Omashu in the southern Earth Kingdom?" Zuko asked, only somewhat dimly recalling the stronghold's location from his geography lessons.

"Eh, Omashu's more for craftsmen." Yun said. "And I hear its king drives a lot of them out by making eccentric requests."

Zuko frowned. He had heard that King Bumi was something of an eccentric, but he'd assumed that was just more propaganda. Guess it wasn't.

"I don't think Li's here to debate the difference between an artisan and a craftsman." Xia-Su said. "Come on, we can start with the potter's."

Xia-Su walked ahead, leaving him behind with Yun. The older man shrugged, falling into step behind the servant girl. He couldn't help but notice that they had both spruced themselves up a little for the trip into town- Yun had groomed his mustache, and Xia-Su had left her hair down for once, instead of in the braid she usually wore while working. It left him feeling even more out of place, and unconsciously, he reached up to touch his hair.

"Li!" Xia-Su called out to him. "Come on, you don't want to get lost!"

Zuko bristled, biting back a retort that he wouldn't get lost. It had only been the one time, and they didn't even _know _about that! Still, he dropped his hand and hurried to catch up with the pair, all the while taking in the sights of the marketplace. No artisans- or craftsmen- lived in the Caldera, though some did have shops there. But those were mostly just storefronts to sell merchandise- the actual work was done elsewhere, and was brought into the city. Uncle had told him once that they used to be allowed workshops within the Caldera itself, but that had changed when his grandfather had ascended to the throne. He'd never cared for all the mess.

Zuko had to disagree.

Stepping into the potters, Zuko instantly sensed the fires used to keep the kilns running. They tugged at him, calling out to him, and he forced himself to take a long breath, exhaling slowly. He didn't want his lack of control to cause anyone's work to blow up in their face- or you know, start a fire. That too.

"You think the little lady likes pots?" Yun asked, picking one up and peering inside, as if he expected to find a treasure. "She doesn't seem the pot type to me."

Zuko snorted. She'd just use the pot for more secret earthbending practice. Which was certainly an idea, but he'd feel kind of bad for the person who had worked so hard to make it.

"No, I don't think she is." Zuko said.

"Huh," Yun said, eyeing Xia-Su, "-and here I thought you were the one who was supposed to be good at this."

Xia-Su flushed. "The potter's shop is the first one."

Zuko just hummed, looking around anyways. A row of teacups caught his eye, and he smiled, unable to help but think of Uncle. One in particular caught his eye- the bright red flowers that had been painted onto it resembled fire lilies, though he doubted the person who made it had ever actually seen one. They didn't grow outside of the Fire Nation.

"You think she'd like a teacup?"

Zuko flinched, not realizing he'd picked the cup up. Hastily setting it back down, he shook his head. "Just liked the design."

Xia-Su just smiled at him, before motioning towards the door with her hand. "Come on. There's plenty of other shops to see."

Zuko nodded, following the pair of servants out the door. The kiln fires seemed almost sad to see him go.

* * *

"The glassblower's-"

"-is not a shop we're going into, unless you want Xia-Su to spend the next five hours in there." Yun finished. "Besides, we all know none of us can afford _glass_."

Xia-Su simply sighed, eying the glassblower's store with unmasked longing. "A girl can dream."

* * *

"Oh, she might like this headdress."

Zuko frowned, looking at the headdress in question. Toph _did _always keep her hair up in a large bun, so she might appreciate the functionally of the present, even if she couldn't appreciate the full extent of the craftsmanship. It wasn't a bad option.

At least, until he looked at the price tag.

"_Nope_."

* * *

"Li, I don't think the little lady needs a mask."

Zuko flushed, quickly setting down the Blue Spirit mask he'd been holding. He'd actually kind of forgotten about Toph. He'd just been so excited to see something from his mother's favorite play _here _of all places- he didn't think _Love Amongst the Dragons_ was even performed in the Earth Kingdom, given its Fire Nation ties.

"I just- it looked cool." Zuko replied lamely, his cheeks dusted with a faint tint of pink.

"Oh yeah, you like theater, right?" Yun asked.

Zuko swiftly nodded, almost wishing he was an earthbender so he could just stomp on the ground and sink himself into a pit. That would be nice.

Then he remembered Xia-Su was with them, and thought better of it.

"Anyways," Zuko cleared his throat, trying to regain some measure of dignity, "-I don't think Toph needs a mask. Let's just move on."

If the two servants shared a knowing look after he brushed past them, he didn't stick around long enough to find out.

* * *

"Is that an... Avatar Kyoshi puppet?"

"You think the little lady would like a puppet?" Yun asked.

"No." Zuko said, not taking his eyes off the wooden marionette carved in the last Earth Avatar's likeness. "I just think it's kind of funny."

"Well don't tell the puppetmaker that." Xia-Su said. "He's from Kyoshi Island originally. He'll probably just spend the next half hour lecturing you on disrespect."

Zuko eyed the puppetmaker warily, a feat he had to turn his head slightly to accomplish. The old man just smiled at him, waving a hand, oblivious to the comment he'd just made. He quickly concluded that while it wouldn't be anywhere near as bad as the _last _lecture on disrespect he had gotten- if you could call getting half his face burned of a _lecture_\- but it wasn't one he wanted anyways.

"Yeah, let's just... go."

* * *

They broke for lunch. Yun offered to pay for the both of them, and wouldn't take no for an answer from either one of them. Eventually they both just gave up.

The person running the food cart must have had _some _Fire blood in him, Zuko decided. There was no other possible reason to explain why he had actual _spices _in stock, and not just the usual Earth Kingdom assortment of herbs. Xia-Su and Yun watched on in mild horror as he dumped half a container of fire flakes into his bowl, but he didn't care. It had been way too long since he'd had food that was actually _spicy_.

He got the name of the spice merchant afterwards. He was definitely going to pay them a visit later, his cover be damned.

(His inner flame seemed to approve.)

* * *

"Do we even _need _to look in the tile shop?" Zuko asked.

"Eh, probably not." Yun shrugged.

The tile merchant, who was busy laying samples outside his shop, just glared at them. Zuko brushed it off. He could glare better, anyways.

* * *

"Yun," Xia-Su began, the air around her so icy that Zuko was briefly convinced she was actually a secret waterbender, "-the young miss is turning ten. She doesn't need _alcohol_."

"But-"

"No buts." Xia-Su said firmly. "Come on, we're moving on before you can give Li any bad habits."

Zuko chuckled in spite of himself, prompting both servants to stop and stare. He instantly flushed, ducking his head and missed their shared smiles.

* * *

"Li, no."

"But-"

"The young miss absolutely does not need a sword." Xia-Su said firmly, and then, catching his look, added, "-or a knife, for that matter."

Zuko huffed in protest, but still let Xia-Su drag him out of the bladesmith's shop. Maybe Toph _would _like a knife. Azula had been jealous of the one Uncle had sent him, and she was closer in age to Toph than he was. Mai liked knives too, so he was fairly confident that girls in general liked them.

Then again, Xia-Su was a girl too, so... maybe Earth Kingdom girls were different.

He still thought Toph would like a knife.

* * *

Gift giving, Zuko concluded, was _hard_. They'd spent all day going through the market, and he hadn't found one thing that he thought Toph would like that he could also afford. He hadn't realized it until now, since he so rarely spent any of his earnings, but living off a servant's salary was _hard_, even if he'd been assured that the Beifongs paid generously.

(Still an improvement over stretching an ever dwindling supply of coppers as long as he feasibly could.)

"Don't let it get you down." Xia-Su assured him. "You still have another two weeks to think of a present. I'm sure you'll figure out something before then."

Zuko just grunted, more tired than anything else. At least today hadn't been a _total _waste, he thought, clutching his bag of spices a bit closer to his chest almost like he expected someone to steal it. No more putting up with bland, under seasoned Earth Kingdom food.

"Just for the record," Yun began, eyeing the bag warily, "-you're not planning on putting any of that into the communal pot, are you?"

Zuko just grinned in response.

* * *

He didn't, because he wasn't _awful_. But damned if he didn't think about keeping a small pouch of the hottest spices on his person, just in case he ever had a chance to sneak them into Yang's food. The only thing that stopped him was the fact that he'd absolutely be the first suspect, and the last thing he wanted was to give the guardsman any validity to his suspicions.

But _Agni_, was it tempting.

"If you go through with it, you have to let me know." Toph said when he told her, a slightly malicious tinge to her usual toothy grin. "I want to hear him _shriek_."

Zuko snorted, his lips quirking in a grin. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"Great!" Toph exclaimed, punching a fist into her open palm. "Now c'mon. You didn't come yesterday, so I'm _itching _for a good fight."

Zuko arched his only brow, already drawing his swords. "How did you even survive without me?"

"Honestly, Scruffy?" Toph asked, taking up her stance. "Sometimes I have no idea."

Yeah. Sometimes he know how he'd managed either.

* * *

"How about tonight?"

Zuko lifted his head, looking over towards the lanterns. He could feel his inner flame flicker in response, stronger than it had been when he'd been denying his own bending, but still weak. He'd taken up his morning meditation again, properly this time- in front of a candle and everything, albeit one he'd lit by mundane methods.

It was helping. _Maybe_.

He felt... somewhat less squeamish about fire compared to where he'd been when he'd first been hired by the Beifongs. He still didn't think he'd be shooting fire blasts any time soon, but he felt less repulsed by the idea of actually creating his own fire.

He hadn't done it though, not yet. Mentally, he felt ready, but _physically_? Every time he tried to make fire, it still sputtered out in his hands, not even getting far enough to create smoke. But instead of resigning himself to it, like he had in the not so distant past, he was starting to get frustrated.

Which was... probably a good sign? He'd take it as one at least.

Closing his eyes, Zuko reached out to the flames. They were so tiny that he could fit them all into his palms, and even combined they wouldn't amount to much. He didn't feel as scared, he realized.

Maybe it was just a good day. Or maybe something was starting to change.

Either way.

"Okay," Zuko said slowly, opening his eyes, "-I think I'm ready."

Not to _create _flame, not yet. But he could, at least, snuff out the existing flame- and on purpose this time.

"You want to try holding my hand?" Toph offered, not a hint of mockery in her tone.

Zuko looked towards her outstretched hand, before slowly taking it. She gave his a squeeze, a genuine smile on her face. Exhaling, Zuko turned towards the lanterns again, calling out to the dozen little flames that danced inside of them. Drawing in a long breath, he took them under his own power, but instead of recoiling as he had in the past, he held them there, letting himself feel their energy.

Part of him had expected it to be searing hot, like the flames that had branded his face. But instead they were just... _warm_, almost reassuring. Little beacons of light in the darkness, not there to harm, but to help.

Maybe fire didn't have to be all about destruction, he realized.

With one long exhale, he snuffed the candles out.

* * *

He visited the artisan's street once more after that, under the guise of looking for a present for Toph again. In reality, he'd just gone to feel the craftsmen's fires, as much a tool of their trade as the earth and metal that they used to create their craft was. Without fire, they would be unable to create anything, their craft never taking its final shape.

He didn't do anything with their fires, of course. He just... felt them.

Felt- and _listened_. They spoke to him of hard working men and women, sweat clinging to their brows as they worked long hours to perfect a single piece. They tended to their fires, knowing their eccentricities just as well as any firebender- what temperature they needed to maintain, how to work dying embers to bring a dying flame back to life. He felt their pride when a piece came out exactly- or better- than they had hoped, and their disappointment, sorrow, and anger when things went wrong.

Maybe fire _could _create.

(He also bought the Blue Spirit mask, but that was completely unrelated to anything.)

* * *

He did not, however, succeed in finding a present for Toph.

_Damnit_.

* * *

On occasion, there were things he knew from his previous life in the Fire Nation that he should have known would carry over to noble Earth Kingdom life, but failed to realize until he actually saw them in action. He wasn't sure what the disconnect was- maybe it was because he was used to being on the other side, as part of the nobility, rather than the servant he was now.

Fancy servant robes were one of those things.

Back in the Fire Nation, whenever there was a big social function at the palace, the servants would all wear fancier robes. Even the guards wore fancier armor than usual, depending on the event. They had at his father's coronation celebration, despite the fact that it had been thrown together in something of a rush.

(There had been a party when he'd turned thirteen, too. Somehow he doubted his fourteenth would be marked by the same kind of festivities.)

But back to the robes. He knew that they were a thing, sure- he just never expected to be _wearing _one. Compared to his usual servant's wear, it was made of finer material, the usual pale green trim replaced with gold, more intricate needlework having been put into the outer robe. It was also heavier and harder to move in, but nothing that he couldn't make work.

It also made him feel like an idiot.

"I think you look _great_, Scruffy!" Toph chirped, her usual wide grin plastered on her face.

Zuko just snorted. "Thanks. That's very reassuring. You look, uh..."

"Like a poofed up poodle-monkey?" Toph asked, striking a pose so ridiculously at odds with the fancy getup her servants had spent the past half hour getting her dressed up in, that he couldn't help _but _laugh. "Because that's how I feel."

"It's not _that _bad." Zuko told her. "It's just... a little much in places."

And here he thought the formal robes _he'd _been forced to wear were a little much. They were nothing in comparison to the ornate gown and headdress Toph's mother had commissioned for her daughter- and that wasn't even touching on the shawl, with its delicate flower patterns so carefully sewn in.

"I feel like, ten pounds heavier." Toph remarked.

"Considering you only weigh like five pounds-"

Toph stomped her foot, causing the earth under his feet to shake, effectively cutting him off before he could finish. He glowered at her to no effect.

"Now then," Toph said, raising her head high and holding out her elbow, "-shall my brave guard escort me to my banquet? I would simply hate to miss anything."

Zuko smirked, taking her arm without hesitation. "You just want the food."

"A distinct possibility." Toph said. "So, ready to glare some future suitors into submission?"

Zuko arched his brow, his smirk growing. "Do you even need to ask?"

The now ten year old Toph only cackled in response.

* * *

His first formal introduction to polite Earth Kingdom society involved _a lot _of glaring.

It felt fitting, somehow.

* * *

She didn't even wait until they got to the cavern to start letting off steam.

Li just watched, amused, as she created a tidal wave of earth, one that ripped through the forest all while neatly avoiding any trees. She let out a _whoop_, confident that they were far away enough from the manor so that she wouldn't attract any attention.

"...been holding that in for awhile?" Li asked.

She didn't even deny it, just flopping on her back so she could lie in the dirt. "Ahh, that's the stuff."

"You know," Li began, looming over her in a way that would probably be intimidating if she didn't know for a fact that he was actually just a huge loser, "-if your mother could see you now, the noises she would make would be unimaginable."

Toph grinned, making no move to pull herself up from the dirt. "Oh, I think I can imagine them just fine."

She could, actually. She was well aquatinted with her mother's array of high-pitched, indignant squeaks. Li probably needed to be around for awhile longer before he picked up on them all. He'd only been here for- _huh_. He'd been here for nearly half a year now, she abruptly realized. He'd shown up in late spring, and it was firmly fall now, so... yeah. A little over half a year, actually.

Weird. It didn't feel like it had even been that long. Maybe she'd just gotten so used to his presence here that she'd stopped thinking about it.

"Something wrong?" Li asked, crouching down beside her. "You went quiet."

"Nah, just thinking." Toph said, pushing herself up with her elbows. "Speaking of which, there's something I've been meaning to ask."

"Yeah?"

"Where's my birthday present?"

Li flinched, that much made painfully obvious by the nervous stutter his heart did. "I- uh, I don't- that is, I meant to get you one, I even went shopping for it and everything, but I couldn't- there wasn't anything that you would like and what you would like was totally out of my price range, so I kind of... didn't get you one?"

He finished his ramble with an audible wince.

"Relax, Scruffy." Toph said, sitting up properly. "I'm not mad. Just having you around is present enough already."

"It is?" Li asked. He didn't have to sound so _surprised _about it. "I mean, uh- thanks. But I still should have gotten you something."

"That's okay." Toph said. "I'm sure you'll make it up next year."

"Maybe." Li said, not sounding very convinced. "But at least I can help you blow off some steam, right?"

Toph grinned, offering Li her hand. "You sure can."

Li took it without hesitation, hauling her to her feet. "Functions suck, huh?"

"The worst." Toph agreed. "That chair was so high I could only touch the ground with my toes and even then only _barely_."

She didn't think her parents had done it on purpose. They didn't even _know _about her earth sense. But it had made her feel every inch the helpless blind girl that they thought she was.

"Was it really that bad?" Li asked.

"Eh, it could have been worse." She said truthfully. "I mean, I had you there, right?"

"Yeah," he said after some hesitation, "-I guess you did."

Toph smiled- before punching Li square in the arm. He rubbed where she'd hit, but he hadn't even so much as flinched this time. Which honestly? That was enough of a birthday present in and of itself.

"Okay, that's enough sappy stuff for tonight." She said, striding forward without waiting for Li to follow. "I'm the birthday girl, and I say the day isn't complete until we've beaten the snot out of each other in the ring."

Li snorted, but trailed behind her. "If I'd known all I needed to make you happy was to let you beat me up, I wouldn't have spent so much time looking for a present."

"Now you're starting to get me, Scruffy." Toph said. "Who knows? Maybe by the time your birthday rolls around, you'll have your firebending back. Then we can _really _duke it out."

Behind her, Li came to a dead stop. She winced, wondering if she'd said the wrong thing. After all, it had been in some kind of fire duel that he'd been burnt so badly by his father. And sure, _she _knew that Li would never hurt her, but did _Li _know that? He'd been making progress, but what if she'd just managed to set him back?

She was just about to turn around and apologize, when Li finally spoke.

"Actually," he said, "-I think there might be a present I _can _give you."

Toph blinked, because that wasn't the response she had been expecting at all. But hey, she'd take it.

"Yeah?" Toph asked, turning around even though she didn't really _need _to. "What is it?"

Li shifted awkwardly on his feet, before he took several steps forward until they were almost face to face. Or more like face to _chest_, given their height difference. She waited expectantly, while Li got over whatever hang-ups he had about whatever it was he was planning on doing. He drew in a deep breath, cupping his palms before slowly exhaling- and that was when it finally clicked.

"Okay," he mumbled, more to himself, "-here goes everything."

She waited, almost holding her breath as Li drew in another breath. At first, nothing happened- and then suddenly, everything did.

She couldn't see the flame cupped in Li's hands, fragile and weak, like it would go out with even the tiniest bit of wind. But they were close enough that she could _feel _it. The flame was small, no bigger than that of a candle's, but it was _warm_, standing out against the slight chill the autumn air brought with it.

And it was _Li's_.

Toph beamed, carefully placing her hands under Li's own. The flame flickered as she touched him, but instead of going out, it just grew stronger. _Steadier_.

"I take back what I said earlier." Toph said. "_This _is the best birthday present you could have gotten me."

Li exhaled, but his flame still didn't go out.


	9. two birthdays in the earth kingdom (zuko

Hello all, I'm back from vacation and am here with a new chapter! Okay, so I got back from vacation last week, but this one was fighting me all the way. But! I finally got it just the way I liked it, so it was worth all the struggle in the end. Hopefully though, the next update of _heart of a dragon_ will come out a little quicker than this did. I at least want to get it done in time for my birthday the week after next if nothing else!

As always, thanks for reading!

* * *

**kintsugi**

**two birthdays in the earth kingdom**

**zuko**

* * *

He was sick.

Truthfully, he'd known that much since yesterday, but it hadn't been as serious then. He'd just been slightly warmer than usual, and as such, hadn't thought much of it. If he was also a little unsteady on his feet, well- it wasn't like that was anything _new_. Just because he'd mostly adjusted to being half blind didn't mean everything was _perfect_. Toph had even asked, but he'd assured her he was fine, and she'd believed it because _he'd _believed it.

Or had believed it enough, anyways.

Today, however, there was no denying it. He was _definitely _sick.

The sun had already risen by the time he woke. That was the first sign that something was off- he rose _with _the sun, not _after _it. The next sign was how just the simple act of sitting up caused his vision to swim, a wave of nausea bubbling up in the back of his throat that he had to swiftly fight back.

Groaning, Zuko placed a hand on his forehead. He was hot to the touch, even for a firebender, but there were no shakes and shivers that were normally associated with a fever.

Fire sickness, then. It wasn't his first experience with the phenomena, though the last time he'd gotten sick like this, it was back when he was still young and was just learning to firebend for the first time. If there were ever a time for a reoccurrence, it would be now, when he was learning to firebend all over again.

He exhaled, steam escaping from his mouth in an attempt to lower his temperature. He supposed he should count himself lucky it wasn't a _real _sickness. Fire sickness would fade soon enough on its own- he didn't even need to rest, not really. Sure, it would fade faster with rest, but that didn't mean he _had _to.

Besides, today was an important day. He wanted to spend it with Toph. He couldn't do that if he was confined to his bed.

Besides, it wasn't like he rested when he was _actually _sick anyways. He always just powered through it. His father took sickness as a sign of weakness, and the last thing he had wanted was to look _weak_.

_(Azula _never got sick.)

Staggering to his feet, Zuko forced his nausea down. He'd be _fine_.

Thankfully, the baths were empty by the time he got there. He hastily washed, changing into his servant's robes, before stumbling back to his room. Though the fire sickness didn't bring with it any chills, he shivered anyways, the howling winter wind outside a reminder of just how cold it was outside the thick walls of the servant's quarters. He'd been provided with thicker robes and better boots, but sometimes it didn't feel like it was _enough_. It _never _got this cold in the Fire Nation, even at the height of winter.

It had actually _snowed _last week. _Snowed_. He'd never seen snow before in his _life_. If he'd gotten a little carried away with it... well, Toph had been the only one around to see. And in snow? She was blind as well... _herself_, or at least a version of her that wasn't such an amazing earthbender.

She couldn't see anything in the snow, she'd complained. It was all water, and frozen water at that- which meant just the act of stepping in it was enough to make her regret her barefoot lifestyle, however briefly. He'd had to carry her piggyback to their usual spot- she didn't let him put her down until he had melted all of the snow around them.

He hadn't complained. It was good firebending practice, if nothing else.

Grabbing his swords, Zuko slung them over his back. If he had to pause to catch himself on the wall, it was no big deal. Shaking off the brief moment of unsteadiness, he made his way to the kitchen. At least he didn't have any morning chores- especially since entering the kitchen made him realize exactly _why _the baths had been so empty despite the post-dawn hour.

Usually he was the first person to wake up. Today he was the _last_.

(Whoops.)

"Li?" Xia-Su looked up as he entered, almost immediately frowning. "Everything okay? It's not like you to be late."

"I'm fine." Zuko lied. "Just slept in for a change."

Xia-Su arched a brow, exchanging a look with Yun. The older man frowned back, briefly tugging on his mustache before he turned his gaze on him. In response, Zuko stood up straighter, trying to ignore the wave of nausea that the aroma of food had prompted.

Guess he'd go easy on breakfast today.

"You sure that's all it is?" Yun asked. "You're looking a little flushed."

Zuko blinked, absently touching his right cheek. Shit. Was he? He hadn't exactly stopped to look in a mirror- not surprising, since he tended to avoid them. Just because he'd accepted the reality of his scar, didn't mean that he liked looking at it.

"Just got out of the bath." Zuko said. "That's all."

Yun and Xia-Su exchanged another glance, before they both glanced in the direction of Old Lady An, who then turned to look at _him_. He flinched underneath the old woman's scrutinizing gaze. It was intense even under normal circumstances, but today it felt as if she was looking right through him. It was all he could do to hold it, all while forcing himself to remain upright.

The last thing he wanted was for them to find out he was sort-of sick. He knew what would happen if they did- they'd insist that he rested, and then they'd probably insist that he should let them take care of him, even though they all had their own jobs. They didn't get paid if they didn't work, and if there was one thing he'd learned since being tossed out on his own, it was the importance of a steady paycheck.

These people already did too much for him anyways.

Whatever she saw, it wasn't what he wanted her to see. Beckoning him with one hand, the old woman rose to her feet. He shifted on his feet, having half a mind to just grab his food and leave, but something prompted him forward instead. She gestured for him to bend down, and when he hesitated, she simply straightened her bent back as much as she could instead, placing her hand directly on his forehead.

His _burning _forehead.

(If he flinched a little, hopefully nobody noticed.)

Her brows shot up, the old woman snatching her hand away as if it had been literally burned. Something twisted in his gut, a momentary spike of panic shooting through him, wondering if she actually had been- before the logical part of him caught up, reminding him that was impossible. Firebenders could do a lot of things, but they couldn't shoot fire from their _foreheads_. That was just stupid.

Besides, he could barely shoot fire anyways. In the two months since Toph's birthday, he'd managed to create steady flames- even _hot _ones- but he was still a long ways off from using his firebending combatively, much to Toph's joking frustration.

(She wasn't _actually _upset, he knew. She just liked teasing him.)

Old Lady An's hand wasn't burned. But she'd definitely realized _he _was burning.

"You," she said firmly, "-have a fever."

The effect of her words was almost immediate. At once, the already quiet table went silent. Then just as abruptly, Xia-Su was on her feet- surprisingly fast for someone with a limp.

"He _what_?"

"He has a fever." Old Lady An repeated. "A bad one, too."

Xia-Su glared at him almost accusingly. "You're sick?"

"It's not a fever." Zuko said, which wasn't _technically _a lie. "I just run hot."

"Not _that _hot." Old Lady An said. "Come now, back to your room. You need to rest."

Zuko felt himself bristle, even as part of him wanted to take the old woman's offer. "It's just a small fever. I can still work."

"I thought you said you didn't have a fever." Yun observed.

Zuko shot him a dirty look. It didn't work.

"Maybe you can," Xia-Su said, "-but that doesn't mean you _should_. You'll only get worse if you don't rest."

Zuko huffed, crossing his arms in front of him. "I've pushed through worse before."

And that was apparently the wrong thing to say, because instantly, the assembled servants' faces went from mildly concerned to _deeply worried_. He winced, wishing he could take it back, but he knew it was already too late. Nothing he could say now would smooth it over.

"That settles it." Yun said, rising to his feet. "You're taking the day off."

"I-"

"Nope." Xia-Su cut him off, just as firm. "Come on. Yun and I will walk you back to your room."

He opened his mouth to protest again, but one look from Old Lady An cut him off. Snapping his mouth shut, Zuko stared down at the floor, realizing that this wasn't a fight he could win.

And that just maybe, it was a fight he shouldn't be fighting _at all_.

(Maybe.)

"But Toph-"

"We'll make sure she knows." She promised. "Someone will have to inform Lord Beifong you're too sick to work anyways."

Something that wasn't simply the nausea twisted his gut. It was difficult to discern just where he stood with Toph's father- her mother seemed to like him well enough, or at least, she was sympathetic to what she _thought _his plight was- but it still felt like her father was looking for an excuse to get rid of him. Toph had assured him that probably wasn't the case, but it was that _probably _he couldn't help but worry about.

It was with an abrupt sense of clarity that he realized he didn't want to have to leave this place, and even more abruptly, that it wasn't just because Toph was here.

The thought was pushed away in the next second, as Xia-Su laid a soft hand on his right shoulder. He twitched at the touch, but managed to keep from flinching further when she touched his other shoulder, carefully turning him so that he faced the door.

"Come on," she said softly, "-let's go back to your room."

He opened his mouth to protest one more time, only for no sound to come out. Closing it, he slowly nodded, letting the pair of servants guide him back to his room. Fine, if they were going to be so stubborn about it, he'd give them one day of rest.

But that didn't mean he had to _like _it.

Maybe his father had been right when he'd said that he was just lucky to be born. How else would he explain that the one day of the year he actually got sick, it would be his birthday?

So much for spending the day with Toph.

* * *

Li's skin was hot to the touch.

That should be a given, seeing as he had a fever, but she could feel his warmth even through his thick robes. And while it was true that Li ran warm- which made him pleasant to stand next to in cold weather- he didn't typically run _this _warm.

Frankly, Xia-Su was just surprised he hadn't simply combusted.

She frowned, her gaze briefly darting over her shoulder towards Li. Yun had taken up the rear, just in case Li stumbled and fell over, but he was doing a surprisingly good job of not doing that for someone who was so clearly unsteady. She'd be impressed, if it wasn't clear it was from experience. He'd said it so easily, as if pushing through a sickness was something normal and expected- something _everyone _did.

He hadn't needed to admit it. She knew the signs.

(Her father had never believed her when she said she was sick. She knew.)

"I don't need an escort," he'd muttered as they'd led him out of the kitchen.

She'd firmly argued otherwise.

As they closed in on his room, Xia-Su quickened her own pace. Usually it was difficult for her to walk quickly, but Li's own halting pace made it possible for her to reach the door before he did, sliding it open so that he could enter without any obstruction. Yun helped him remove his swords, carefully placing them against the wall near where he slept, where he always kept them. He made sure they wouldn't fall over before letting them go- not that either of them thought that would be enough to actually damage them, but still. They were precious to Li, one of the few pieces of his life from _before _that he still had.

A pair of twin dao and a knife. Barely anything at all. Even _she'd _had more to her name when she had left her village- and all of its bad memories- behind.

(Both _weapons_, some tiny part of her always noted. The thought never sat well with her.)

Li shifted on his feet, stubbornly refusing to sit down, much less _lie _down, like he really ought to. She glanced towards him, then glanced towards Yun, who arched a brow, ignoring the sound of protest Li made as he dug in his things, producing his sleepwear and shoving it towards him.

"Come on," Yun said, "-let's get you changed, kid."

Li flushed, his eyes darting briefly over towards her. She gave him a quick smile, hastily ducking out of the room to give them some privacy. He didn't have anything to be embarrassed about, really. Even if she _did _look at men that way, which she didn't, Li was a _child_. She couldn't think of him as anything other than a particularly stubborn and prickly baby brother.

"I don't need _your _help either," she could hear Li grumble from inside, "-I can change my own damn clothes."

"I'm sure you can." Yun said. "But let me give you a hand with the outer layer, at least."

Li audibly grumbled, but judging from the fact that it was several minutes until Yun joined her in the hall, he'd caved anyways. He _must _be sick, she decided, if he was actually letting people _help _him. Usually Li was so independent that it was an uphill battle just getting him to admit that he even _needed _it.

Given his _obvious _noble heritage, that felt... well, _contradictory_.

(And he had to have been noble, once. There was no other reason to explain how he could be _that bad _at doing simple chores.)

"Let us know when you're done so we can tuck you in!" Yun shouted through the door, ignoring the _don't antagonize him_ elbow jab she gave his ribs.

"I can tuck myself in!" Li shouted right back, with a surprising amount of volume given how sick he was.

It wasn't just how hot his skin was that gave it away. His usually pale cheeks were flushed red, sweat pasting his newly grown in bangs to his forehead. His usually bright eyes were glazed and distant, his voice raspy- at least, more raspy than usual, though that part might admittedly just be puberty. It was amazing that he thought he could even fool them, and it seemed testament to how little the people who had once been around him must have cared that _they _had been.

(That too, felt awfully contradictory.)

Yun exchanged a glance with her, giving her a cheeky grin. She rolled her eyes, barely restraining herself from elbowing him a second time. _Honestly_. Sometimes Yun acted far more like a child than she ever did- or _Li _did, for that matter.

She wished that were different- but if there was one thing she could understand, it was having to grow up way too fast. Sometimes childhood had to take a backseat to surviving.

"Well, you better be done," Yun called out, "-because I'm coming in anyways!"

In spite of what he said, Yun waited several more seconds before sliding open the door, giving Li plenty of time to finish changing. By the time Yun actually opened the door, he was already lying down with his thick winter blanket already pulled over him, almost like a shield.

"There, see? I'm in bed." Li said, glaring rather impressively for someone so flushed. "You can leave me alone now."

"Hm, I don't know." Yun stroked his mustache thoughtfully, glancing over towards her. "What do you think? Can we leave the kid alone?"

Li shifted his glare towards her, which would have been a lot more effective if she hadn't seen him babytalking to a stray kitten once. Given how red his face had turned when he looked up to see her, he definitely hadn't thought anyone was watching.

Honestly, she couldn't understand how anyone could ever be _afraid _of Li. He was about as scary as the aforementioned kitten.

"Of course not." Xia-Su said firmly. "He's sick. Someone needs to take care of him."

"I can take care of myself." Li protested.

"Given that your idea of taking care of yourself seemed to be _pushing yourself_," Xia-Su countered, in what she hoped was her best big sister voice, "-I find that hard to believe."

Li clearly didn't have anything to say to that, because he just resorted to glaring at her some more. It hadn't worked the first time, but that never seemed to deter him in the least. She had to applaud his tenacity.

Then finally, he looked away, clutching at his blanket in a way that just made her want to take care of him _more_. "You both have work. I can't keep you here."

"I think Lord and Lady Beifong can go without a dedicated tea server for one day." Yun shrugged.

"And we don't have any guests arriving for the next few days, so there's no real need for every single housemaid." Xia-Su said simply. "It's not like you're a burden."

Li's good eye briefly widened, before he ducked his head, leaving only his burnt side visible. It was set in a permanent scowl, that entire side of his face transformed by the violence that had been inflicted on him. Even after all this time, it was hard to look at- not because of how it made him look- she barely noticed the disfigurement anymore- but because of what it _meant_.

(At the end of the day, her leg had ultimately been an accident. Li's scar, burned in the shape of a handprint, could have only ever been deliberate.)

"Do what you want." Li finally said, rolling over so that his back was turned to them. "I'm going to get some sleep."

Xia-Su exchanged a glance with Yun, smiling. He returned the expression.

Once the spring thaw began, it would be a year since Li had come here. A year ago, Li would have never agreed to let them stay and look after him. A year ago, Li was skittish, wary of getting close to anyone, keeping everyone at an arms length like he was afraid that someone might hurt him if he let them close.

And now he was letting them see his back.

"Then," she said, "-we'll stay."

* * *

"_We'll stay_, she says," Yun muttered underneath his breath, "-and then she immediately sends me out of the room."

Sure, okay, he saw the need for it. _Someone _had to go and get some cool water and rags and it might as well be the person who was less likely to spill it. But _still_. For someone who was only a scant handful of years older than Li, Xia-Su sure could be bossy.

(Of course, _he _was the one letting himself be bossed around by a teenage girl, so what did that say about him?

Well, mostly that he wasn't a jerk. Said teenage girl usually knew what she was doing.)

Balancing the water bucket on his hip, Yun knocked on the door. "Got the water."

Xia-Su opened it a few moments later, giving him a faint smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." Yun said, carefully setting the bucket down. "Ran into Old Lady An in the hallway while getting the stuff. Said she reported Li's predicament to Miyuki."

Xia-Su made a face, like she'd forgotten about that step herself. Which, fair- he'd kind of blanked on it too. Thank the spirits for old women.

"She said she relayed the fact that we would be taking some time off too." Yun added, crouching down by the bucket and removing one of the rags he had grabbed from his robe. "Always thinking one step ahead, that old lady."

"Do you think Lord Beifong will grant our requests?" Xia-Su asked, kneeling back down near Li's bedroll. "I mean, I know he'll grant _Li's_, but..."

Speaking of Li, the kid must have been _exhausted_, because he'd already fallen asleep. He'd conked out so quickly that he'd almost thought he was faking it at first, but no- he was well and truly asleep. And to think he'd actually wanted to try and push through his sickness. He knew the kid was stubborn, but that was a little _too _stubborn, even for him.

Still, he had to admit, it was nice to see him looking so _peaceful _for a change. Even his scar seemed smoother somehow, less angry now that he wasn't actively scowling.

"Don't see why not." Yun said, dipping the rag in the water. "Li's just a kid, after all, and Lord Beifong is a reasonable man. I'm sure he'll understand."

Squeezing the excess water from the rag, he passed it to Xia-Su. She placed it as carefully on his forehead as she could, but the kid _still _flinched. Thankfully, it wasn't enough to wake him up. Exhaling, Xia-Su glanced over towards him. He shrugged, removing the rest of the rags he had taken from his robe and setting them aside for later use. He wouldn't want anyone to come anywhere near _his _face either, if he had a burn like that.

"So... you know what you're doing?" Yun asked.

Xia-Su shot him a look. "I helped out at a healer's hut for several months."

Yun arched a brow. "Can't help but notice that's not a yes."

Xia-Su narrowed her eyes. "I know enough."

"So in other words... no." Yun said.

"If you're just going to be noisy, you can leave." Xia-Su huffed.

"Hey, I said I'd stay, didn't I?" Yun said, holding up his hands. "I'm a man of my word."

Xia-Su just stared at him for a few seconds longer, before she heaved another sigh. Pulling her legs out from under her into a more comfortable position, she lightly rubbed her right ankle. He couldn't help but eye it, his gaze flickering towards the window. Outside the winter winds were howling, though the snow that the clouds had been threatening for days now didn't seem inclined to fall today either.

Probably for the best. Xia-Su's leg always ached when it snowed.

If Li's scar did, he didn't show it.

"You should take a short break. Go finish eating." Yun told her. "Maybe rub some of that cream the healer gave you on your ankle."

Xia-Su opened her mouth to protest, but he just held her gaze. These kids might be stubborn as could be, but he was a proper man of Earth himself, and could damn well be more stubborn than the both of them if he wanted to be. And he knew for a fact that Xia-Su had barely gotten in two bites of food before Li had come stumbling into the kitchen, sick as could be.

And she'd almost definitely put too much weight on it when she'd stood up so quickly. He knew from experience that was _never _good.

"Fine," Xia-Su finally said, "-but I'll be back soon. And my ankle's fine."

"If you say so." Yun said. "Now go, before your stomach wakes the kid."

Xia-Su opted not to dignify that with a response, instead getting up and limping towards the door. She paused, briefly glancing back at Li, before finally leaving.

"Stubborn kid." Yun shook his head, glancing back down at Li. "And you're the most stubborn kid of all."

Li said nothing in response to that, probably because he was asleep. Leaning against the wall, Yun folded his arms in front of him, ready to be here for the long haul. Not that he minded. _Someone _had to look after the kid. Preferably someone who wasn't _also _a kid.

Damn war had babies looking after babies. Wasn't right.

Well, maybe he couldn't do anything about the war. But he _could _look after one sick kid, while making damn sure the other kid didn't run herself ragged trying to take care of him. Because he knew that if he let her, Xia-Su would absolutely do just that. Nevermind that trying to push past his limits was _exactly _what she was so upset at Li about.

He huffed again. Oma and Shu, he really was just surrounded by the Earth Kingdom's most stubborn kids.

* * *

_"Zuko."_

Turning on his heel, Zuko's barely caught a glimpse of the fluttering deep red cloak before it vanished. He _knew _that cloak. How couldn't he, when it had been burned into his memory?

"Mom?"

His voice echoed in the empty air, sounding so much younger than he remembered it being. Looking down at his hands, he realized that he _was _younger. His hands hadn't been this small since he was eleven- before his family truly started falling apart, his cousin and grandfather dead and his mother vanished.

(Azula, taunting him in the night, cheerfully declaring their father was going to _kill him_.)

"Mom?" He called again, taking a step forward, then another. "Mom, where are you?"

_"Zuko."_

Turning on his heel, the world around him shifted, transforming from an inky blackness to the familiar halls to the Fire Palace. Again, he just barely caught a glimpse of his mother's cloak as she turned a corner, just out of his reach.

"Mom!" He called out, hurrying after her, only dimly aware that his legs were longer now, of the way the armor he wore clinked as he ran. "Mom, wait!"

He turned the corner, and the scene changed once more. A row of flames flickered in front of him, and he felt himself instinctively taking a step back, a surge of fear washing through him. His father's war room spread out in front of him, faceless generals all staring back at him.

He couldn't see his father, but he could feel his eyes.

_"Zuko!"_

He turned towards the sound of his mother's voice. It sounded more desperate this time, afraid. His left eye was hot, _burning_, the smell of melting flesh clogging his nostrils, as he realized his mother's call wasn't a scream for help, but one of warning.

It wasn't enough.

The Agni Kai chamber loomed before him.

_"You __**will **__learn respect,"_ his father's voice came from behind him, just as cruel as it had been on the day of his Agni Kai, _"-and suffering will be your teacher."_

He didn't turn around this time.

Unsurprisingly, it didn't help.

* * *

Li _screamed_.

Letting the bowl of rice gruel slip through her fingers, Xia-Su bolted back towards Li's room as fast as her bad leg could carry her. She'd never heard Li scream like that before, and the mere sound of it sent a bolt of terror through her heart. She practically ripped the door off in her hurry to get inside, only to find Yun already hovering over him, clearly hesitant to actually touch him to wake him up.

She, however, had no such hesitation. Not now.

Grabbing his shoulders firmly, Xia-Su gave him a firm shake. "Li! Li, wake up!"

Li's eyes snapped open, their bright gold color hazy with something other than fever. He stared straight at her, but somehow, Xia-Su got the feeling that it wasn't her he was looking at.

"...mom?"

She froze at the softness of his voice, biting back a comment that she was far too young to be mistaken for _anyone's _mother, especially _Li's_. Just like she had never heard him scream like that before, she'd never heard him sound so _soft _before either.

Then he blinked, the haze in his eyes clearing away.

"Xia-Su?"

She exhaled, slowly nodding. "It's me."

Li frowned, narrowing his eyes as he glanced from her face to her hands. Once he realized where they were touching, he flinched, and she instantly drew them away.

"What's," Li began, glancing at her in confusion, an expression which only deepened when he noticed Yun, "-what- what are you two even _doing _here?"

"Don't you remember?" Yun asked. "You have a fever. Xia-Su and I are taking care of you."

"Oh," Li's brow furrowed, as if he really was just remembering that, "-right. I remember."

She couldn't help but notice that he still sounded shaken, his face pale- even for him. Biting down on her lip, she debated asking about it, but as usual, Yun was always one step ahead of her when it came to painful bluntness.

"Sounds like you had quite the nightmare, kid." He said it so easily, even though she could still make out traces of fear in his eyes- an expression which was doubtlessly mirrored in those of her own. "Xia-Su could hear you all the way from the kitchen."

Li swallowed, looking away. "It's nothing. Just- just the fever."

"Didn't sound like just the fever to me." Yun said.

"Well it was." Li snapped, his temper flaring. "Look, I appreciate the concern, but I'm _fine_."

"You called for your mom." Xia-Su said softly.

Li flinched. "I said it's nothing."

Xia-Su exchanged a glance with Yun, before frowning, looking back down at Li. He was still stubbornly not looking at either of them, his right eye narrowed to the point where it was no longer asymmetrical with his left.

His knuckles, still clutching his blankets, were white.

She could only sigh, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Pressing him any further likely wouldn't do any good, even if she doubted it really was just because of the fever. They all knew that Li didn't sleep well- and even if he didn't say as much, it wasn't hard to guess that it was due in large part to bad dreams.

No, if the fever was responsible for anything, it was them _hearing _him for once.

She didn't like that thought at all.

But Li was also sick, and therefore vulnerable. And the more vulnerable he was, the less likely he was to actually open up to them. He might not be that same wary, distrustful kid he'd been when he'd first arrived here, but there were still shades of that- a wall that none of them, maybe not even the young miss of the house, could fully surmount.

Besides, stressing him out further wouldn't help him get better. Best to just drop it for now and let him rest.

"Alright," she finally said, "-if you say so. But just remember- if you need anything, at least one of us will always be right here."

Yun nodded in agreement. "So don't worry about a thing, kid."

"You really don't need to do that." Li just huffed, rolling his eyes. "I could do just fine on my own."

"So you told us." Yun said. "But you can't get rid of us that easy, kid. We're sticking around until that fever of yours is down."

Li grumbled, sinking further into his blankets until his face was barely visible underneath them. Yet, for all his stubborn bluster, his grip on them had grown far more lax- and she was pretty sure that was the edge of a smile on his lips she'd seen before his face had disappeared underneath the covers.

He really was a terrible liar.

* * *

He didn't know exactly how, but somehow, Li managed to fall back asleep after that. It was a fitful sleep, sure, but at least it looked more like the sleep of someone fighting a fever than it did someone fighting off bad dreams. Heaving a sigh, Yun glanced over towards Xia-Su. He made sure to keep his tone low- the last thing he wanted to do was to wake the kid.

"Troublesome kid, isn't he?"

"Really?" Xia-Su said, a hint of teasing in her voice. "I hadn't noticed."

He snorted quietly, biting back a comment that he wasn't the _only _troublesome kid around here. "You did remember to eat something yourself, right?"

Puffing out her cheeks, Xia-Su put her hands on her hips. "Of course. I know how to take care of myself."

Yun's lips quirked upwards, holding up his hands in mock defeat. "Never said that."

Xia-Su just sighed, glancing back down at Li. "Do you think we should get a healer after all? I know Li doesn't like strangers, but..."

He'd been turning that same question over in his head since he'd first seen the kid's flushed face, but in the end, he didn't think it was a good idea. Not unless he actually really needed one, at least- in which case, he'd just have to put up with a little bit of discomfort for the sake of his overall health.

Or _a lot_ of discomfort, as the case might be for Li. But if they didn't have to put him through that, they wouldn't.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Yun said. "At least, not yet."

Xia-Su nodded in agreement, before glancing over her shoulder. He blinked, looking towards the door himself, abruptly realizing that they were far from alone. While most everyone had already gone to work, the few that hadn't were lingering outside, with Old Lady An at the forefront of the crowd.

"How is he?" She asked.

"He's sleeping again. I think the fever must be making him really tired." Xia-Su said, frowning a little. "You could have said something if you were there."

The old woman merely shrugged. "Didn't want to disturb."

Glancing back towards him, Xia-Su arched a brow. He returned it with a shrug, taking a seat next to Li's sleeping form. "You go on and finish up what you were doing. I'll look after him for a little longer."

Xia-Su nodded, pausing for the span of a few moments to look at Li, as if checking to make sure he hadn't slipped into another nightmare. Once she was satisfied that he hadn't, she made her way towards the door, the crowd parting to let her past, and largely dissolving once she'd left. Only Old Lady An lingered, watching him as he picked up the damp rag that had fallen off of Li's forehead during his nightmare.

It had barely even been half an hour, and it was already warm.

Yun merely shrugged, dipping the rag back into the bucket. Kid ran hot.

* * *

"He's _sick_?"

She wasn't usually the type to be caught off guard, but all Toph could do was stare in disbelief at her father's messenger. If her hearing weren't so sharp, she almost would have thought that she'd misheard him- because Li? _Sick_? She didn't even think he could _get _sick.

Then again, he'd frolicked like an idiot in the snow last week, and he'd been a little unsteady on his feet yesterday... maybe he really was sick, then.

There was a twinge of guilt at that realization. Surely she should have picked up on it earlier, if that were the case? She'd definitely noticed _something_, but Li had assured her that he was alright, and it hadn't felt like he was lying...

Then again, this was _Li _she was talking about. His definition of _alright _was clearly vastly different from that of her own.

Her father's messenger mumbled something about Li taking the day off to rest. Frankly that surprised her more than the fact that Li was sick. He wasn't exactly the _resting _type, even normally. Not only did he keep the same late night hours she did, but she also knew that his firebending butt rose with the sun- a concept that was utterly unthinkable to her.

Being awake before dawn? No thanks.

Which meant someone was _making _him rest. Which, hey- good on them. She knew from experience that making Li do something he didn't want to was no easy task. And there was no way that Li would actually want to rest, sick or otherwise. He _hated _staying still. Which wasn't to say he _couldn't_\- he could stay _very _still if he wanted to. But if he didn't?

Then he didn't.

"Can I see him?" Toph asked, even though she already knew the answer.

Predictably, her father's messenger told her _no_. It would be awful if she caught whatever Li had, after all. She was so weak and fragile that even a mere cold would be enough to threaten her life.

Okay, so he didn't say that last part, but it was very strongly implied.

Oh well. It didn't really matter. One way or another, she'd find a chance to see him. She was an earthbender- patience was just one of her many finely honed skills.

That, and there was _no way_ she was going to let Li be alone on his birthday.

* * *

"You don't need to do this."

Xia-Su just smiled at Li, shutting the door behind her. Yun had warned her that Li was awake when they'd traded off, so she'd been somewhat prepared for another barrage of Li's attempts to push them away.

"Maybe not," she said, "-but I want to."

Li huffed, turning his head so that he was staring at the ceiling instead of her. The sigh that escaped her was more bemused than anything, as she made her way over towards his side, setting down the bowl she had brought with her. It was hot in her hands, filled to the brim with Old Lady An's special rice gruel.

"Think you can eat something?" Xia-Su asked.

Li's stomach growled in response, causing him to flush even more.

"I'll just take that as a yes." Xia-Su said.

Li mumbled something underneath his breath, but nevertheless slowly worked himself out from the tangle of blankets. He propped himself up with his elbows, pushing away any of her attempts to help him sit up with a grumpy and extremely predictable _I can do it myself_.

"What is it?" Li asked, eyeing the bowl with a surprising degree of wariness. She hadn't seen him look that wary about food since he'd first started living here, eyeing every pot like he expected it to contain poison.

"Old Lady An's special rice gruel." Xia-Su replied. "She swears by it."

Li looked skeptical, only growing more so when she removed the lid. "It just looks like mush."

Xia-Su arched her brows. "You want me to tell her you said that?"

Li quickly paled. "I mean, it looks good?"

"That's better." Xia-Su smiled, taking the spoon and getting a spoonful of the gruel. She held it up to Li, who just glared at her.

"I can feed myself." He huffed, snatching the spoon from her hand. "I'm _sick_, not four."

"Of course you're not." Xia-Su said lightly. "You're thirteen."

Li frowned, looking at her strangely. "M'not thirteen."

Xia-Su blinked, staring at him in confusion. He didn't seem to notice, too busy chewing, apparently having realized that the rice gruel was neither poison nor disgusting.

"I thought you told Yun you were thirteen." Xia-Su said.

"I mean, I was." Li said. "Today's my birthday, actually."

All she could do was stare at him. He'd said it so easily, like it wasn't a big deal. She couldn't shake the sinking feeling that was exactly what he thought. The subject of Li's birthday was one that had come up among the servants- they always tried to hold small celebrations for one another- but none of them actually knew when it was. They'd all assumed that he'd tell them when it was getting close, but from the sound of it, if she hadn't brought up his age, he might never have mentioned it at all.

He would have just let it pass, unmarked and unnoticed.

And that was extremely unacceptable.

"I suppose I should wish you a happy birthday, then." Xia-Su said, hoping that he hadn't noticed her continued silence. "You're fourteen now, right?"

Li just nodded, still more focused on eating than he was on the conversation.

"I guess you wish it was happening under better circumstances, huh?" Xia-Su asked.

"Pretty much." Li admitted, briefly glancing over at her with a frown. "What is it?"

"Nothing!" Xia-Su said quickly. "I'm just... why didn't you tell us it was your birthday?"

Li tilted his head. "I did. Just now."

Which was fair, she supposed. He had indeed told her just now. But normally people mentioned their birthdays a little sooner than the _day of_.

"Well... is there anything you want?" Xia-Su asked.

"...to be let out of bed?" Li ventured.

Xia-Su's gaze sharpened. "Not happening."

Li clicked his tongue, muttering something underneath his breath that sounded a lot like _worth a try_. "Then not really, no."

Was there really nothing he wanted? Or was he just saying that because he didn't want to be a burden? Her heart sank at that thought. As stubborn as he was, she would have thought he would have realized how important he was to all of them by now.

And he was, whether he realized it or not. He was a part of their family- how could he possibly _not _be important?

This, Xia-Su resolved, was not something she could allow to continue.

* * *

"Are you finished?"

Setting down the bowl, Zuko nodded his head. He'd only eaten about half of the rice gruel, but his stomach was already protesting. The last thing he wanted to do was throw up, and give Xia-Su something else to fret over.

She didn't need to be fretting _at all_\- her or Yun, or any of the other servants. It was bad enough that they'd all heard him having a nightmare- and he wasn't even going to touch on having apparently mistaken Xia-Su for his _mom_\- but he didn't want to give them any further cause to worry about him. He really was fine- or he would be soon enough. Fire sickness would go away on its own. It always did.

Though, he guessed she didn't know that. She didn't even know it was fire sickness. And frankly, it was probably better to keep it that way. A sickness that only firebenders could get? Yeah, it was definitely better to keep something like that a secret.

At least they hadn't called for a healer. He'd heard them talking about it when he'd been pretending to sleep, but he was really glad they had decided against it. He didn't know if there were even any healers in the Earth Kingdom that could diagnose fire sickness, but he'd rather not take his chances.

As for they reason they had given...

...well, they weren't wrong. He wasn't found of strange people- or even people he knew- touching him. He'd expected that fear to fade as he slowly got used to his fire again, but it was still just as strong as ever. It made him feel kind of pathetic. Most people weren't his father, out to do him harm.

Most people were good and kind. Like Toph. Like Xia-Su and Yun, and all the other servants who lived here. Even Toph's parents had their own kind of kindness. He wouldn't be here if they didn't.

...he wondered if he was kind too.

"Li?"

Xia-Su's voice startled him out of his thoughts. Jerking his head up to look at her, she just gave him one of her usual smiles. "Can I take your bowl? I can keep it in the kitchen to warm it up later."

He opened his mouth to say that he could warm it up later himself, before catching himself. His heart pounded in his chest, internally cursing his own carelessness. He couldn't say something like that. Whatever happiness he had here, it was bound to end the moment these people found out that he was a firebender.

He couldn't give himself away.

"Sure," Zuko nodded, passing her the bowl, "-thanks."

"No problem." Xia-Su said, taking the bowl from him. "Then, you rest. I'll be right back."

He watched her go, before heaving a sigh and lying back down. He really didn't want to rest, but he guessed he had no choice. He had promised, after all.

* * *

Servant found!

Toph grinned to herself. She'd wanted to go straight to Li's room, but she could sense someone in there with him. So instead she'd opted to search for someone that she could grill for information- er, ask about Li's well being.

But also grill them for information.

She'd shifted her feet slightly to get a better look at the servant. He hadn't noticed her yet, too engrossed in drawing water from the well. She was just glad the snow from last week had cleared up, or she wouldn't be able to see him at all- or anything else, for that matter.

Ugh. She hated winter.

The servant, she determined, was one she knew- she recognized him as her family's tea server. Li had described him to her as having a dumb mustache, and had said his name was... _Yun_, she thought. And if Li talked about him...

Her grin widened. That made him the perfect person to pump for information.

* * *

"How's Li?"

In later retellings, Yun would leave out the fact that he'd nearly leapt out of his skin, flinging the bucket of water that he'd come to collect into the air. It thankfully managed to avoid splashing him- or the young lady of the house, for that matter.

That one would have definitely been worse.

"Miss Beifong!" Yun exclaimed, nervously glancing around to check if anyone was watching, only to find that there was no one around but the two of them. There was no sign of any guards, nor even a single maidservant or retainer.

It was just Lord Beifong's daughter.

Alone. By herself. Which she definitely wasn't supposed to be.

"That's me." Toph said, her voice surprisingly level. "How's Li?"

"I," Yun opened his mouth to reply, uncertain, "-he's resting. He's not feeling well today."

"So I've heard." Toph said- and he swore the edge of her mouth quirked upwards in a grin. "Can I see him?"

"I don't think," Yun frowned, shifting nervously on his feet, briefly wondering if this was some kind of test, "-I don't think your father would approve."

Toph narrowed her eyes, tilting her head so that she was looking in the general direction of his face. If he didn't know any better, it was as if she was trying to intimidate him.

Well, it was working.

Not that he'd give in. No sir, not him. He was a grown man, and she was a ten year old girl. He was not going to let a ten year old girl intimidate him. He got enough grief from Li and Xia-Su as it was already.

Eventually, Toph lowered her gaze- and he swore she clicked her tongue. Or maybe it was someone breaking a branch somewhere off in the distance. That would make more sense.

(All he could suddenly think about was how Li had wanted to buy a knife for her.)

"What's he sick with?" Toph asked. "I asked, but nobody would tell me."

"It seems to be a fever." Yun told her. "I'm sure it's nothing a day of rest can't cure."

Abrupt appearance aside, she'd probably just come because she was worried about her friend. He was certain Li would be delighted to hear that she'd come to check on him- though probably less delighted to hear that he'd turned her away.

But no. If Lord Beifong found out he'd let her in the same room as a sick person, he'd be fired for sure. He liked having a job, thanks.

"I can pass a message to him, if you want." Yun offered.

Toph tilted her head, seeming to consider this, before nodding. "Tell him he better get well soon."

That sound amazingly like a threat, Yun marveled.

"Oh," Toph added, "-make sure to tell him I said happy birthday too."

"I'll be sure to tell-," was all he managed to get out before what she'd said actually caught up with him. Opening his mouth, Yun could only gape for a few seconds, processing what he'd just been told.

Today was Li's birthday?

Today was Li's birthday, and he _hadn't told them_?

He was just about to ask Toph if she was _sure_, only to realize that she'd already left. He scanned the area for her, but failed to find the Beifong heiress anywhere. She'd vanished, seemingly in the blink of an eye, making him wonder if she'd ever actually been there at all. Though given that the alternative was him hallucinating his employer's daughter...

...yeah, she'd definitely been there, he quickly decided.

* * *

"I need to talk to you."

Xia-Su blinked, just as Yun did the same. It was fortunate that she'd run into him in the hall on her way back from putting away Li's bowl, but she hadn't expected the echo.

"You go first." Yun said.

Xia-Su nodded, taking in a deep breath. "It's Li's birthday."

Rather than look shocked, Yun just blinked. "You knew?"

"I just found out." Xia-Su said, frowning. "Wait, _you _knew?"

"_I _just found out!" Yun was quick to defend himself. "I met the little lady outside. She's the one who told me."

Xia-Su blinked again. "The young miss was here?"

"She came to check on Li, apparently." Yun told her. "She was worried."

In spite of herself, Xia-Su couldn't help but smile at that. It was obvious that Li cared about the young miss- he had fretted far too much about finding her a good present to not- but it was nice to know that the sentiment was apparently returned.

But she'd be lying if she wasn't a little jealous- and more than a little hurt- that Li had apparently told _her _today was his birthday, and not them. Did he really think they wouldn't care?

Well, that was just all the more reason to prove him wrong.

"We need to do something about this." Xia-Su said.

"What, about the little lady?" Yun asked.

"No, not about her." Xia-Su rolled her eyes. "About Li! We need to show him we care."

"We do care." Yun blinked. "What, does he not know that or something?"

"I don't know." Xia-Su admitted with a frustrated sigh. "He didn't tell us it was his birthday today. His birthday! We should have all celebrated it together, but he didn't even mention it."

"And you think that means he doesn't think we care?" Yun asked.

"Maybe." Xia-Su said. "Or maybe he just thinks he's not important enough."

"Well _that's _bull." Yun snorted. "Of course he is."

"Right." Xia-Su said. "Which is why we need to make sure he understands that."

Crossing his arms in front of him, Yun nodded. "Makes sense. So? What do we need to do to accomplish that?"

Xia-Su blinked, frowning. She hadn't actually thought that far ahead.

"I... suppose we could get him a present?" She suggested. "I don't think he expects to get anything, so a present might show that we think he means something."

And that he's worth something, she mentally added.

"What kind of present?" Yun asked. "It would have to be something he likes."

Her eyes narrowing in thought, Xia-Su rested a hand on her chin. What did they even know about what Li liked? He had so few personal possessions, that it was difficult to pin him down. Other than the single theater mask he'd hung on his wall as a decoration, and the swords and knife he'd had with him when he'd arrived, he really didn't have anything that was his. His clothes, maybe, but somehow a present of clothes didn't sound right.

"Spices?" She finally ventured, "-and masks."

Yun snorted. "Spices and masks."

Xia-Su just glared at him. "Then what do _you _think he likes?"

Yun very purposefully did not meet her eyes. "...swords?"

"Swords." Xia-Su repeated, before heaving a deep sigh. "Anything else?"

"...theater scrolls?" Yun suggested.

"Well, it's better than _swords_." Xia-Su admitted. "But what if we just got him something he hates? What if he took it the wrong way?"

"I think you may be overthinking this." Yun said. "Weren't you the one who said it's the thought that counts?"

"That was then, and this is now." Xia-Su glared at him, before heaving a long sigh. "At least if we had some idea of what he wanted..."

A vague image flickered in her mind's eye, causing her to blink. Narrowing her eyes, she tried to recall just what it was. If she recalled, during their shopping trip with Li...

"You have an idea?" Yun's voice broke her from her thoughts.

"Maybe." Xia-Su said, still somewhat uncertain. "Do you remember when we took him to the artisan's street?"

"How could I forget?" Yun asked. "He tried to buy the little lady a knife."

"And you tried to suggest buying her _alcohol_." Xia-Su pointed out. "Anyways, that's not the point. Do you remember the first shop we went to?"

"The pottery shop?" Yun asked. "What about it?"

"Do you think they still have that teacup?" Xia-Su asked.

"Teacup?" Yun asked, before seemingly remembering. "The one with the red flowers?"

Xia-Su nodded. "He seemed to like it."

At least, she thought he did. The look on his face... it had almost been nostalgic. But he'd set the cup down so quickly when she'd called out to him, that she couldn't be sure. But he did say he liked the design...

Yun hummed in consideration, stroking his mustache. "Well, it's better than more spices. You'd swear that kid had a Fire tongue."

Xia-Su snorted, but didn't deny it. "Don't tell Yang that. He'll take it the wrong way."

He was already convinced that Li was some kind of Fire Nation spy. None of them were exactly about to volunteer information that might make him think he was actually _right_. It was why she kept silent about the color of his eyes, and the way they reminded her of the soldier that had carried her to the healer's that night almost five years ago now.

And if his hands had twitched as if he had wanted to touch his scar when she'd mentioned her father, well, that was a secret between survivors, not something to be shared.

"Wouldn't dream of telling that bastard anything." Yun said. "I'll head down to the shop now. Maybe I can get something for Li's fever while I'm out too."

Xia-Su nodded. "Good plan."

"You be sure to keep an eye on him." Yun said. "I get the feeling he's going to become even more of a handful once he actually starts getting better."

Xia-Su laughed. That was far too easy to see. They might not know that much about who Li was, or where he had come from, but they certainly still _knew _him. And if there was one thing they had learned about Li, it was that he was as stubborn as they came.

And frankly, she wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

Blinking awake, Zuko frowned. He didn't even remember falling asleep, but he must have. That was the only explanation for why the sun had already set.

Beside him, someone stirred. He tensed, reaching for the knife he kept hidden underneath his pillow, only to relax once they called out to him, recognizing the voice as Xia-Su's.

"Li?" She asked. "Are you awake?"

Guess she hadn't been kidding about staying by his side.

He nodded, pushing himself up into a sitting position. His vision didn't swim this time, he noticed. Placing a hand on his forehead, he realized that his temperature was back to normal. His fever was gone.

The fire sickness had passed.

"How's the fever?"

Zuko started a bit, glancing in the other direction, surprised to find that Yun there. Guess they _both _hadn't been kidding about staying by his side, then.

"Better." Zuko said. "I think it's gone now."

"Really?" Xia-Su asked, holding out her hand with a questioning tilt of her head. "Is it alright if I check?"

Zuko bit his lip, before nodding his head. Xia-Su smiled, resting her hand against his forehead, careful to avoid touching his scar. Her hands were chapped and dry, and he couldn't stop his heartbeat from picking up at the simple touch.

"You're right," Xia-Su said, pulling her hand away, "-it's back to normal."

"So does that mean I can stop resting?" Zuko ventured. It couldn't be that late. Maybe he could still catch up with Toph.

"Not a chance." Xia-Su said firmly. "When you're just about recovered is the most time dangerous time for fevers."

Zuko opened his mouth to protest, before his own stomach cut him off, loudly growling. He felt his cheeks heat up, ducking his head in embarrassment. With his fever gone, his nausea had vanished too- which meant he was back to being hungry. Come to think of it, all he'd eaten today was half a bowl of rice gruel...

Yun, damn him, let out a bark of laughter. "I think the kid's hungry."

"I think you might be on to something there." Xia-Su teased. "Hold on a minute. We still have some rice gruel left. I'll go heat it up."

"I'll help." Yun said, getting to his feet. "Don't you go anywhere kid."

Zuko only nodded, too embarrassed to look up. Thankfully, they pretty quickly. Exhaling, he glanced towards the door, briefly entertaining the thought of leaving while they were both gone.

Then his stomach growled again, and he quickly dismissed it. Food first.

They returned soon enough, Yun carrying a tray that contained a bowl of rice gruel and a teapot- but curiously enough, no teacup. He set them down next to him, crouching down to pick up the teapot, only to blink, as if only now realizing his mistake.

"Huh," he said, "-there's no teacup here."

"There sure isn't." Xia-Su said, her tone more than a little strange. "What should we do about it?"

Glancing up at her, he couldn't help but notice that she seemed to be hiding something behind her back. Arching a brow, he glanced back down to Yun, who almost seemed to be smirking.

Was this a prank? Was he being pranked?

"Well," Yun said, "-I guess we'll just have to find a teacup somewhere."

Xia-Su hummed. "Well, if it's a teacup you're looking for..."

She crouched down next to him, producing what she'd been hiding behind her back with a smile. "...then I might just have something you could use."

Zuko blinked, staring down at her hands. Sitting in it was a familiar teacup, vividly painted with a decoration of red lilies.

It was the same one he'd looked at while searching for a present for Toph, two months ago. The one that had reminded him so much of fire lilies- and of home. Looking up at Xia-Su, she met his perplexed expression with a smile still, placing the cup down.

"We both remembered how much you seemed to like it." She said by way of explanation. "We thought it would make a good gift."

"You didn't think we'd let your birthday pass without a present, right?" Yun chimed in, beaming.

"I-"

He _did_, actually. That was why he hadn't even bothered to mention it to anyone but Toph. Not because he expected Toph to give him a present, but just... he didn't think it was that important. Even when he was still a prince, birthday celebrations had been more about putting on a show for the nobility than they had actually been about him. Father certainly never gave him any presents- only his mother had.

And then she'd vanished, and the only person left who gave him presents was Uncle.

"I don't-"

Ducking his head, he sucked in a breath. Was it really okay for him to keep doing this? To keep taking advantage of these people's kindness like this? They didn't even know what he was, much less _who _he was.

"Do you not like it?" Xia-Su asked.

"No!" Zuko said, snapping his head up. "I just- you didn't have to do this."

"I know." Xia-Su said. "But we wanted to."

Swallowing, Zuko looked at the both of them- at their smiles, their kind faces. He still didn't know what was right, but there was one thing he knew for sure- that he was happy. Not only had they spent all day looking after him while he was sick, they had also bought him a present- had remembered something so small as him looking at a teacup once. How could he _not _be happy?

"Thank you," Zuko said, "-really. Thank you."

Xia-Su and Yun exchanged a glance, before they turned to look back at him with a smile.

"Happy birthday, Li."

* * *

Outside of Li's room, Toph smiled to herself, leaning against the exterior wall of the servant's quarters.

She'd been worried about Li being alone on his birthday, but she guessed her worries had all been for nothing. She should have known- it was obvious from the way most of the servants spoke of Li that they cared for him a lot. They knew what she knew- that Li was less of a raging inferno, too dangerous to get close to, and more like a warm campfire- a constant, reassuring presence that kept people warm even on the coldest nights.

For sighted people, they weren't bad, she decided.

Pushing off the wall, she walked away. If she knew Li- and she did- she'd see him tonight at some point. For now, she'd let the rest of his family look after him.

* * *

"Happy birthday, Scruffy!"

"Tha-"

"Now come here and let me beat you up for pretending you weren't sick."

Zuko took one look at the glint in Toph's eyes, and _ran_.


	10. earth rumble five

Hooray, here it is! At long last, it's time for Toph to take her crown as the Earth Rumble champion. After this, there's just one more story arc to cover before we start heading into canon territory- but seeing as it's going to be a sort of "finale" to this section of the story, it's going to be a big one. Get ready to go to Ba Sing Se and find out what the city of walls and secrets has to offer for our kids before they return there with the rest of the Gaang later in season two!

That said, the next work I'll be updating won't be an Avatar one, but I'll be back to working on heart of a dragon after that! I'll also be gone from Thursday to Sunday on a short trip, so I probably won't get in a ton of writing time during that period so expect something of a short hiatus! As always, thanks for reading!

* * *

**kintsugi**

**earth rumble five**

* * *

"What do you _mean_, The Boulder's not going to be in Earth Rumble Five?"

Zuko blinked, glancing over his shoulder. In spite of its status as an underground event, it wasn't _that _unusual to overhear people talking about the Earth Rumble, especially not young kids, if the squeaky voices were any indication. But The Boulder not being in the next Rumble? He hadn't heard anything about that.

Toph would no doubt be very, very interested.

Turning back to the spice merchant, he held up a finger. "Give me just a second."

The merchant just flashed him a smile, almost invisible underneath his massive beard. "Anything for my favorite customer."

Zuko quirked a faint grin, before scanning the marketplace crowd for whoever it was that was gossiping about the next Earth Rumble so openly. They weren't that hard to find, actually- he took one look at the stupid hairstyle one of the kids was sporting, and knew right away that the only reason someone would wear their hair like _that _was if they were a big fan of The Hippo.

They were also, he noted, taking in the uniforms, students of Master Yu.

Perfect.

Weaving through the crowd, he made a beeline for them, stopping in front of the pair. They jumped at his sudden appearance, then flinched at the sight of his scar. He brushed it off, folding his arms in front of him. He already knew it was ugly- he'd long since passed the second year anniversary of getting the damn thing, so he'd had plenty of time to become infinitely familiar with his changed face. He'd also learned to stop taking every flinch so personally.

Having people who didn't even bat an eye at it definitely helped.

"What's this about The Boulder not being in the next Earth Rumble?"

One of the boys, probably the one with more guts, but absolutely more stupidity, squinted suspiciously up at him. "Why should we tell you?"

Zuko frowned. He didn't see any point in them withholding the information from him. The Earth Rumbles were pretty much an open secret. They even let _kids _in, for Agni's sake.

But if they were going to do it the hard way...

...well, two could play at that game.

And he could play at it much, _much _better.

Zuko bared his teeth, using every precious inch he'd gained during his most recent growth spurt to loom over the boys. His scar made him look intimidating by default, but in the last year and a half he'd gotten glaring down to almost an art form. There was never any shortage of noble boys that Toph's father brought to the manor to meet her, so he'd gotten plenty of practice staring them down.

"Because," he told them, grateful that his voice had finally stopped cracking two weeks ago, "-I can't guarantee what will happen if you _don't_."

The boys swallowed.

* * *

"The Boulder's _what?_"

"Taking time off to take care of his sick mother. At least that's the word on the street." Zuko said, avoiding the wayward rock Toph hurtled in his direction, too close to his head for comfort.

"Huh." Toph said, recovering her lost focus. "Wouldn't have pictured him for a mama's boy."

Zuko's lips quirked in a grin. "Really? He seems the type to me."

"Well, you know what they say," Toph beamed, and in that moment, he knew he'd somehow made a mistake, "-takes one to know one."

He could only wince. "...I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

Toph just chucked another rock at him in reply. He knew he should never have told her about his mother. He'd definitely skimped on more than a few details, but he'd told her enough that she got the impression of how close they had been, at least. She'd teased him about it ever since.

Then again, given Toph's relationship with her _own _mother... he couldn't exactly begrudge her any teasing. At least he'd had a mother who had loved and supported him unconditionally- and not just some version of him that only existed in her head. He was sure she'd be proud of him even now, even if he had kind of broken his last promise to her.

(But then, it wasn't exactly like he'd _forgotten _who he was. It was just... that person was changing. He just wasn't fully sure into _what_.)

Evading the rock, Zuko inhaled, before punching out a pitiful excuse for a fireball. The flames were barely even hot- which he guessed for purposes of training was fine. He wasn't trying to _hurt _Toph, after all. Not that it mattered much anyways, given how swiftly she blocked it with a wall of earth.

"Not bad, Scruffy," she said, "-that one looked pretty good."

The edge of his lip twitched upwards. "You know I never fall for that, right?"

She was right, though. Compared to when he hadn't been able to throw fire _at all_, even that measly excuse for a fireball was a vast improvement. And if he had to be honest... yeah, it had been pretty measly. If he'd made a fireball like that around one of his old firebending teachers, he would be doing drills well into the evening to make up for it.

And if he made one like that around his _father_...

...well, there were things worse things in the world than endless drills.

But it _was _progress. He had to try and not let himself forget that. He wasn't afraid of his own fire anymore, not like he had been. Unfortunately, while his previous epiphany had helped him to not fear his flames, and allow him to create them again, they hadn't done much in replacing his drive. The anger and rage that had used to fuel his firebending just didn't sit right with him anymore- though looking back, he wasn't sure if it ever had. Until he found something that could substitute for it, his flames would probably _stay _weak.

He _had _gotten pretty good at manipulating heat. Just... kind of on its own and mostly for the sole purpose of keeping himself warm during the brutal Earth Kingdom winters. Xia-Su had told him that there were places in the Earth Kingdom even colder than this, and he shuddered to think what it was like to even live there.

Maybe he didn't miss a lot from the Fire Nation these days, but _Agni_, did he ever miss the climate.

"Worth a try." Toph shrugged. "You never know when I'll meet someone who will. Gotta stay sharp."

"Well, if you do," Zuko's gestured towards his left eye, "-count me in."

He'd kept hoping the vision in his left eye would improve with time, but it was still just as blurry as ever. His hearing, on the other hand, had improved somewhat- but not enough that it was anywhere near back to normal. He'd shifted gears from hoping to adapting, an effort which Toph helped out with by _constantly attacking his left side_.

"Joint effort, huh?" Toph was still beaming as she let her rock wall crumble, repurposing it into projectiles. "I like the sound of that."

Zuko ducked low, avoiding the rocks. The faint tremor of the earth was all the warning he got that something was about to happen, but it was enough- once the rocks were clear, he sprang to his feet, jumping backwards just in time to avoid the rocks jutting out from the ground where he had been mere seconds ago.

"Yeah?" He asked as he landed. "I thought you would."

"Sounds like you know me pretty well then, Scruffy." Toph observed. "So, did you find out anything else about the next Earth Rumble? I don't suppose your new friends gave you any details about how to sign up, did they?"

"They didn't say." Zuko shrugged. "Maybe you should just stick to the original plan."

"Show up and beat everyone up?" Toph asked.

"Show up and beat everyone up." Zuko repeated.

"Yeah," Toph's grin widened, "-I think I like that plan."

Looking at that smile, Zuko almost felt sorry for all the unsuspecting earthbenders who were about to get their asses handed to them by a ten year old girl. Then he thought about Fire Nation Man, and somehow, he didn't feel so bad about it anymore.

Actually, he was kind of starting to look forward to it.

* * *

"You know," Toph said, "-I'm starting to think you're just excited for the Rumble so I can beat someone _else _up for a change."

"It's a distinct possibility."

* * *

"What do you think my catchphrase should be?"

"Catchphrase?" Zuko asked, arching a brow as he looked down at Toph.

The little earthbender was navigating through the dark forest like only a blind girl with an earth sense could do. He'd had to resort to summoning a flame just to see- it was pitch black out, the moon covered entirely by clouds. It had been raining until just an hour ago, a sudden summer storm blowing over without any warning in the afternoon that had stuck around well past its welcome. Toph had been grumbling about it the entire time, annoyed about possibly losing her precious practice time to rain.

He almost wished it had kept raining until tomorrow. He _hated _mud and the forest floor was now ninety percent mud. Toph, on the other hand, was completely unbothered by it, and even seemed to enjoy the squelching sound her bare feet made as she marched through the mud. He felt a pang of sympathy for the maidservants who would doubtlessly be tasked with getting it out of her toenails come tomorrow morning.

"You know," Toph said, pausing to dig her toes a little into the mud, "-my catchphrase. Something to say whenever I wipe the floor with someone."

Zuko stared at her for a good few seconds, before slowly narrowing his eyes. "...you're just messing with me, aren't you?"

Toph beamed, an eerie sight in the flickering light of his tiny flame. He exhaled, making the flame in the palm of his hand grow larger, but that only seemed to make the effect _worse_, the flame illuminating the mischievous glint of her eyes.

Then again, with his scar, he probably looked a bit frightening in this light too.

Or, well. Any light, really.

(He wondered if Mai would think he looked ugly. Not that it would matter, since he was probably never going to see her again.)

"_Of course_ I'm messing with you, Scruffy." Toph said. "I mean, a catchphrase? Can you imagine? I might as well start speaking in the third person like The Boulder."

Zuko grinned. "You think The Boulder talks like that out of the ring too?"

"Pssh, no way. He's obviously just putting on an act." Toph said. "Can you imagine what it would be like to go shopping with him if he did?"

"Can _you_?" Zuko asked, quirking a grin. "Because I seem to recall that you've never actually been shopping in your life, Lady Beifong."

"Hey, you only started going shopping yourself not all that long ago, mister ex-Fire Nation noble," Toph said, pointing accusingly at him without looking at him, "-so I'm not about to sit around and listen to you criticize my basic life skills."

"Point taken." Zuko said. "But I think you're wrong. I bet The Boulder absolutely talks like that, even out of the ring."

"Yeah?" Toph leered at him. "You wanna make that a _real _bet, Scruffy?"

Zuko leered right back. "You're on, _Blind Bandit_."

"Loser has to talk in third person for the week," Toph said, tilting her head and lifting her brows, "-unless, of course, you're scared of being wrong."

"I'm never scared." Zuko said.

"You sure about that?" Toph asked. "Because I seem to recall a _certain someone's_ heart beating like crazy when I introduced him to my masters."

Zuko glared at her. "That's because you didn't warn me your masters were _badgermoles_!"

"Duh," Toph said, "-it wouldn't have been any fun otherwise."

Zuko frowned, narrowing his eyes. "You are a terrible person, Toph Beifong."

"Yeah, yeah," Toph grinned, "-you're my best friend too, Li."

The sound of his false name spoken so earnestly made him twitch, but only a little. The guilt stayed with him, but he'd gotten used to it. Deep down, some part of him knew that he could probably tell Toph the whole truth. It wasn't optimism- he just knew Toph well enough to know that when she said she didn't care, she meant it. Especially not now, not after they had spent so much time together, had discovered that while they might have entirely different elements and were from entirely different places, they still had so much in common. Toph understood him in a way no one really had before- and he knew she felt the same way. They had a bond, one forged of steel so strong, that not even the most powerful firebender could melt it.

But he still didn't want her to know. Like maybe if he never talked about it, he'd just... stop being a Fire Nation prince entirely. Like maybe he could just be Li.

Wouldn't that be great.

"Thanks," Zuko said, "-but get back to me on that when I'm not your _only _friend."

"_Touché_."

* * *

"...so how do we actually figure out who wins the bet?"

Toph paused mid-kata, narrowing her eyes. "Shit. I didn't think about that."

Actually, Toph's father wouldn't even need to find out about him being Fire Nation to find a reason to get rid of him. He'd just need to listen to his daughter swear.

Oh well. What's done was done.

* * *

"So do you think you'll need-"

"For the last time Li," Toph cut him off, "-_I don't need a mask_."

Zuko huffed. _He _still thought a mask was a good idea, no matter what Toph said.

* * *

"Hey." Toph's grin was nearly as wide as her face, the white of her teeth visible underneath the thin sliver of moonlight that shone through the gap in the trees. "Guess what?"

"What?" Zuko asked, even though he already knew.

Toph's grin somehow managed to grow. "Earth Rumble Five is _tomorrow_."

Zuko snorted, cracking a grin of his own. It was hard not to, when Toph's was so infectious. "You sound pretty excited."

Toph playfully punched his arm. "You think?"

"I definitely think so." Zuko said, rubbing his arm where Toph had punched him. He'd gotten used to her unique brand of affection, but that didn't mean her punches didn't have some real... well, _punch _to them. He wondered where the arm strength came from, seeing as she didn't have any visible muscles.

(He barely flinched anymore when she touched him. Toph would never hurt him. Not in any way it counted. He could trust that- and her.)

"I think you're right," Toph said, "-and I think you should be ready to get your ass kicked tonight. Don't think for one second I'm going to go easy on you just because I've got a big fight coming up."

"You?" Zuko asked. "Go easy on someone? I don't think you even know _how_."

Toph's cackle was all the response he got- but it was all the response he needed. Holding back was not, and had never been a part of Toph Beifong's dictionary.

* * *

He did, in fact, get his ass kicked.

Eh. He was kind of used to it at this point. Even getting his firebending back somewhat hadn't been able to turn the tables on Toph. Then again, something told him that even if he got his firebending back to what it once was and then some, it _still _wouldn't be enough to beat Toph.

But honestly?

He was okay with that. Sparring with Toph had become less about winning, and more about having fun. And if that meant getting his ass kicked every time they fought, well... maybe that wasn't so bad. He was sure his father would call him weak for losing to an earthbender that was younger than him, but he was pretty sure his father had never fought anyone like Toph.

His father had never fought _anyone _he might lose to. Maybe... maybe it was actually his _father _who was the weak one, not him.

(Wouldn't it be nice if he could actually believe that.)

* * *

The night of Earth Rumble Five was clear, not a cloud in the sky. The moon was little more than a thin sliver, but combined with the stars, it provided more than enough light to illuminate their path- or _his _path, since Toph didn't exactly need the light. The Earth Rumble arena was easy to find, as it had been last time, but there was an excitement, an anticipation in the air that hadn't been there when they'd come to watch Earth Rumble Four.

After all, they hadn't come to just _watch _this time.

Or well. _He _was. Toph wasn't. Toph was going to be kicking ass.

"You remember the plan?" Zuko asked as they closed in on the arena.

Toph grinned, punching her open palm. "I bust in there and beat everyone up."

"Good." Zuko nodded. "Glad we're on the same page."

* * *

Earth Rumble Five was open entry.

Zuko could only watch in amusement as a line of earthbenders formed outside of the arena- all hopefuls wishing to take part and have a chance at becoming champion in The Boulder's absence. For an underground tournament, it was surprisingly orderly- there was a sign up sheet and everything, though he was going to take a wild guess that most weren't signing with their actual names.

There was also an entry price- an entry price of _five whole gold pieces_. It made the part of him that had pinched every last copper he'd been given when he'd first been banished hurt. All he could think about was how much longer he would have lasted if he'd been given five gold pieces. He probably would have had to resort to theft a lot later.

Then again, given the results... he couldn't exactly complain.

"So," Zuko glanced down at Toph, "-change of plans?"

"Depends," Toph said, "-you got five gold pieces on you?"

"As if." Zuko huffed, the part of him that still clung to some misplaced sense of noble pride annoyed beyond measure at having to admit it. "I don't think I've even _seen _a gold piece since being kicked out of the Fire Nation."

"Well, I don't either, but," Toph shrugged, "-I think there's going to be a change of plans."

In the dim moonlight, Toph's grin looked downright _menacing_. More importantly, he _knew _that look.

"So what's the new plan?" He asked. "Wipe everyone else out so you're the only one left standing so they _have _to let you fight?"

Toph's grin only grew. "Wow, Scruffy. You really _do _know me well."

Zuko heaved a short sigh, casting a glance towards the line of entrants. They all looked big and burly, some with biceps that were bigger than Toph's head and others who would loom even over Yang. Pretty much what anyone would picture when they imagined the ideal earthbender, a total contrast to Toph's petite even for a ten year old stature.

And not a single one of them stood a chance.

"So what do you think?" Toph asked. "Sound like a solid plan?"

Zuko eventually shrugged, seeing no reason to protest. "Sounds solid to me."

"Great!" Toph pumped her fists, letting out a loud _whoop_. "Let's go kick some ass!"

Her proclamation was loud enough to garner more than a few stares- and a couple of chuckles once they locked onto the source of it. No doubt that they had taken one look at Toph, and decided that she was all bark and no bite. He probably could glare them into submission, but frankly, it wasn't worth the effort.

Not when Toph's actions would speak loudly enough.

Besides. Where was the fun if he gave them a warning? Sometimes you just had to learn things the hard way.

* * *

Fifteen seconds.

It had taken exactly _fifteen seconds_ for Toph to knock every single would-be challenger out- and it had only taken _that _long was because she'd spent ten seconds of that time just getting to the center of the arena. Once she had, no one stood a chance against the wave of earth that her single stomp sent out in every direction.

When the dust settled, only Toph was left.

"I'm the Blind Bandit," she loudly declared, acting for all the world like she'd already won the entire tournament, "-and I can kick every last one of your sorry asses, so bring it on!"

A hush fell over the crowd, before a burst of laughter broke it. He recognized the man who stepped out of the wings of the arena, bending himself a bridge as he walked. He had been the one who had served as the announcer for the previous Earth Rumble- someone that he strongly suspected was also the event organizer. He certainly _looked _the type.

If he recalled correctly... he was pretty sure he'd said his name was _Xin Fu_.

"That sounds an awful lot like a challenge, little lady." Xin Fu said, coming to a halt in front of Toph. "Are you sure you have what it takes to live up to that?"

Watching him, Zuko could pinpoint the exact moment when he noticed Toph's cloudy, clearly blind eyes, as well as the exact second where he was switched to chalking up Toph's earlier display of earthbending prowess as a fluke. Narrowing his eyes, he instantly decided that he didn't like this guy- not only did he seem shady, he probably also was.

But this was Toph's fight, not his. She could handle this.

Toph just grinned, her blind eyes gleaming dangerously. "How about you fight me right now and find out, old man?"

Something very different gleamed in Xin Fu's eyes, as he turned on his heel, sweeping a hand theatrically out towards the audience, pointedly ignoring Toph's challenge.

"What do all of you think, ladies and gentlemen?" Xin Fu's voice carried through the arena. "Should we allow the Blind Bandit to challenge our seasoned earthbenders?"

The audience, which up until then had been left in a state of stunned silence, _erupted_.

"Well then, I think we have our answer!" Xin Fu said. "Tonight, we'll see just how far the Blind Bandit can go!"

Zuko smiled, took his seat, and got ready to watch the show of a lifetime.

* * *

Oh yeah, this felt _good_.

And to think, she hadn't even started _fighting _anyone yet. But man, did being cheered for really get her blood pumping. The awed silence after she'd washed the floor with those would-be Earth Rumblers had been pretty nice too, but _this_?

She could get used to this.

She'd been worried that without The Boulder to draw in crowds, there would be fewer people than last time, but unless her feet were playing tricks on her, it almost seemed like the crowd was _bigger_. These people were clearly expecting a show, and she wasn't about to let them down. She could feel them packed in in the back rows- with a handful of people who didn't know any better sitting closer to the arena. She was going to completely ignore the fact that the last time she'd been here, _she'd _been one of those people who hadn't known any better. Li had been the sensible one who had made her move.

_Speaking _of Li...

Her lips curled into a smile as she picked him out from the crowd. It was easy. She knew Scruffy better than she did anyone else here- even if he wasn't quite so _scruffy _anymore. The nickname stuck, much to his annoyance- which was part of why she kept it.

(Also what else was she supposed to call him? _Sparky_? Not in Yang's earshot, she wasn't.)

Turning her attention away from the stands, she sensed the approach of her first challenger. Baring her teeth in a fierce grin, she instantly recognized who it had to be- there was only one earthbender around these parts that could make the earth shake half as much as he was just by walking.

It _had _to be The Hippo. Looks like Xin Fu was sending out the heavy hitter first. Probably hoped he'd scare her away or something.

Well, he was going to be sorely disappointed.

This was just perfect, actually. If she laid waste to someone The Hippo's size, then anyone that came after him would _have _to take her seriously. She might be blind, but she knew damn well how she looked to other people- like she was every inch the tiny, helpless blind girl he parents thought she was, too delicate and fragile to do anything for herself.

They'd only be able to cling to that delusion for a short while longer.

"Round one," Xin Fu's boomed, all safe and sound in the announcer's box, "-The Big Bad Hippo versus the newcomer, The Blind Bandit!"

"_Big bad_, huh?" Toph's grin grew. "We'll just have to see about that."

"Tiny bandit girl mocks Hippo? Hippo will _crush _tiny bandit girl!" The Hippo bristled as if personally insulted, stomping forward with enough force that the rock around him shook, sending a tremor in her direction.

She refused to let it move her, standing her ground and cackling- which only served to make The Hippo even _angrier_. The tremor became a rocking, as The Hippo jumped up and down, shaking the very arena that they stood on. If she hadn't expected it, it might have actually given her some trouble.

_If _she hadn't expected it.

But she did. In fact, it was the _same _opening move The Hippo had used during his match against The Boulder last time. It hadn't worked on him, and it sure as anything wasn't going to work on _her_. Using the earth itself to keep one foot rooted to the ground, she slid the other foot forward, striking out with her hands. The rocking earth turned against The Hippo, a hefty slab of it shooting up in front of the earthbender and striking him in just the right position to knock him off his feet and put a stop to the rocking.

After that, knocking him out of the ring was practically a breeze.

For the first few seconds, the audience was dead silent again. Then a single cheer cut through the silence, at which point, the audience erupted into chaos. Beaming, Toph turned her head, looking in the general direction of that first cheer. Sticking out her hand, she gave them a thumbs up.

She was positive Li was beaming right back at her.

* * *

"You know her?"

Zuko frowned, glancing behind him as he sat back down. He didn't recognize the middle-aged man who'd spoken to him, but that didn't exactly surprise him. His social circle pretty much consisted of Toph and the other servants who lived at the Beifong manor- and also maybe the spice merchant, though he would hesitate to classify the latter as a _friend_.

"Yeah," he grinned, seeing no reason to hide it, "-you could say that."

"Huh," the man said, looking him up and down, pausing for only a moment on the scar before doing the same to Toph, "-she your little sister or something?"

Zuko blinked- but then smiled. That... didn't feel wrong, actually.

It actually felt pretty _right_. He had a closer relationship with Toph than he did with his _actual _sister, banishment not withstanding. He and Azula had been closer once... but that was a long time ago now. Ever since she'd begun to firebend, things had started to change.

(He wondered if the new Crown Princess ever thought about him at all.)

"Yeah," he said, "-I guess you could say that too."

* * *

It was official.

She _loved _this.

The next two opponents after The Hippo went down just as easy, but somehow, that didn't make her feel dissatisfied. What Li had told her during one of their earlier sparring matches had kind of stuck with her ever since- that it was a pretty bold claim to say that she was the greatest earthbender in the world when she had no one to really compare herself to. She'd kicked his ass over it, but he definitely hadn't been wrong.

But here she was, trashing grown men at their own game- and it wasn't even _hard_.

So yeah. Greatest earthbender in the world? Totally not an exaggeration.

* * *

"The Blind Bandit continues her reign of terror!" Xin Fu crowed. "Is there anyone who can stop her? Or are we witnessing the birth of a new champion, ladies and gentlemen?"

Zuko huffed in amusement, arching his only brow. Xin Fu was definitely a showman, even if he could vaguely sense an edge of annoyance to his voice. Clearly, he hadn't thought Toph would get this far, and was starting to wonder just how this little girl was managing to beat all of his star earthbenders.

Probably because said little girl really _was _the greatest earthbender in the world. Guess she'd been right all along. He felt kind of stupid for ever having doubted her, however briefly it had been. That ass kicking had been downright _justified_.

As it was, he was kind of having the time of his life here. There was something that was so satisfying about watching Toph take down earthbender after earthbender. He'd almost been afraid that he might have flashbacks to his Agni Kai, but that hadn't happened. It helped that Toph knew exactly who she was fighting against, and could more than defend herself.

That thought sat in his stomach like a bitter coal, a reminder of how awful his father was- and a reminder of how stupid he'd been for not having seen that sooner.

He shook the unpleasant thought off, focusing back on Toph. If just watching her was satisfying, he couldn't imagine how satisfying this all was for her. She never acted like she needed validation of her skills, but it definitely wasn't something that would hurt.

"Next match," Xin Fu boomed, "-The Blind Bandit versus Fire Nation Man!"

Well. Guess today really _could _get better.

* * *

Staring down the Fire Nation imposter, Toph grinned her fiercest grin. She already knew this was going to be an easy fight- he'd barely put up one last time.

But for Li's sake, she wasn't going to let him go down that easy. Taking a step forward, she exhaled, before striking out with her fists. The earth underneath their feet rumbled, before it burst out in the form of a giant fist, barreling down towards Fire Nation Man. Somehow, she didn't think the quaking in his boots he was doing was part of his act.

She used her giant rock hand to grasp Fire Nation Man, giving him just the lightest of squeezes- not enough to do any real damage, but definitely enough to bruise. She then tossed him up into the air, caught him by the hem of that stupid cape, and deposited just outside of the ring.

It was a completely unnecessary amount of flair, and it was all for Li.

"That," Toph yelled, making damn sure he could hear her, "-is for your stupid anthem!"

In the stands, nobody cheered louder than Li.

* * *

The Gopher tried to sneak up on her from underground. She was quick to show him why that was a _huge _mistake.

* * *

The Gecko was quick and light on his feet, especially for an earthbender.

But Li was still faster- and had in turn pushed _her _to be faster. If this guy thought mere speed was enough to get the drop on her, then he had another thing coming.

* * *

The Headhunter might have almost given her trouble, if he didn't _scream _so much- which totally gave him away. In the end, he wasn't hard to beat- when it came down to it, he was just a guy with a rock and rope. Compared to some of the aerial attacks Li had pulled on her during their sparring matches, that was nothing she couldn't handle. Using the sound of his screaming to pinpoint his location, she'd spun on her heel and thrown a rock of her own at him, knocking him right off his rope and out of the ring.

She'd have to ask Li to describe his expression later. It was _bound _to be hilarious.

In the meantime...

"Is that all you got?" Toph spat. "I thought this was Earth Rumble Five, not a daycare for big babies!"

There were some jeers mixed in with the cheering this time, but you know what? She kind of liked that too.

* * *

Xin Fu twitched.

When he'd learned The Boulder would not be returning to Earth Rumble Five to defend his title, he'd only been briefly annoyed. But instead of a potential loss of profit, he'd seen a chance to make some additional revenue, by letting anyone compete in this year's Rumble- for a fee, of course. Things had been working out perfectly, and Earth Rumble Five was well on it's way to turning a bigger profit than the one before it.

That was, until _she _had shown up.

When she'd knocked everyone else out of the ring, he'd been forced to admit that the so-called Blind Bandit had some skill, but he'd been confident that The Hippo would be enough to deal with her. She was small enough that she couldn't possibly be any older than eight- and on top of that, she was _blind_. Clearly, she was just some rich noble's child that had gotten it into her head that her earthbending was better than it actually was.

But then she'd defeated The Hippo.

She'd defeated almost _every single one_ of his earthbenders.

And that was when he started to get really annoyed. He'd been hoping to chase her off, but instead she was well on her way to becoming Champion.

Yet for all his frustrations, the crowd was practically eating it up. That was the only thing stopping him from putting an end to this farce himself. Perhaps if he played his cards right, he could even make this work in his favor. People might pay quite a bit of money to see someone as tiny as the Blind Bandit lay waste to men more than twice her size. He wasn't keen on the idea of offering someone who barely even came up to his hip a contract, but maybe...

...though perhaps he was getting ahead of himself. She'd certainly had a lucky streak thus far, but there was no way this little girl could beat _all _of his earthbenders. She might be talented, but she was _still _just a little girl.

There was no way she'd be able to win.

* * *

"The winner, and your new Earth Rumble Champion, The Blind Bandit!"

Pumping her fists in the air, Toph let out a _whoop _of victory. In the stands, she felt Li leap to his feet, before the rest of the audience could even react.

And here she thought that they'd _stopped _with the stunned silences. Guess they must have not really thought she could actually win. Judging from Xin Fu's raging heartbeat and tightly clenched fists, they weren't the only ones.

Well, she sure showed them.

* * *

Xin Fu wanted to scream, but he would not. He was a professional showman. He would _not _scream while on stage- _especially _not because of a little girl.

"So," the Blind Bandit tilted her head, extending her hand towards him without really looking at him, "-where's my belt?"

Xin Fu ground his teeth, but nevertheless presented the belt to her. Judging from the cheers she was getting, he'd had a riot on his hands if he didn't. It practically dwarfed her in size. He somehow suspected that even as an adult, she likely wouldn't get very tall. The Blind Bandit smiled a wide, toothy grin that took up nearly the whole of her face. Taking the belt from him, she hooked it around her waist. Somehow she managed to get it to stay in place, a miracle that no amount of bending or Spirit interference could explain.

"Now," she said, before extending her hand a second time, "-where's my cash prize?"

He was reconsidering screaming.

* * *

Zuko heard Toph coming before he actually saw her, proud yet tiny footsteps that could only belong to the newly crowned Earth Rumble champion. They'd arranged a place to meet after the tournament ended in advance, unsure of what the reaction would be once Toph had won. She might not be recognizable, considering most of Gaoling didn't even know she existed, but _he _sure as heck was. They didn't exactly want anyone tracing him back to her and getting them both in trouble.

"So was I amazing," Toph beamed, chest pushed out with pride, "-or was I amazing?"

Zuko quirked a grin. "Yeah, you were amazing."

"Darn right, I was amazing!" Toph's grin grew, elbowing Zuko in the rib. "Plus I kicked Fire Nation Man's ass just for you. Even made a little showy."

"An effort which I greatly appreciate." Zuko said, before glancing down towards the bag of gold coins tucked underneath her arm. "So what are you going to do with your winnings?"

"Don't know yet," Toph shrugged, "-but we should probably find somewhere to hide it where nobody can find it."

"Good idea." Zuko agreed. "I'm pretty sure either one of us having a bag of two hundred gold coins would raise a few questions."

More than just a _few_, in his case. It was ironic, considering the fact that he used to be pretty rich himself. Then again, none of it was actually _his _money- and being a Fire Nation prince, he was willing to bet a fair amount of the money in the royal family's personal coffers was nothing short of blood money.

It churned his stomach just thinking about it.

"We can swing by the cave on the way back," Toph suggested, "-bury it there. No one there to find it but badgermoles and they aren't exactly interested in gold."

"Solid plan." Zuko said. "So, how was being up on stage?"

"It's an _arena_, Scruffy," Toph corrected, "-not a stage."

Unbothered, Zuko just shrugged. "Eh. Same thing."

"You know, normally I'd argue." Toph said. "But I think you might actually have a point. You know. For once."

"For once?" Zuko said, arching his brow, not even attempting to sound offended. "Oh, I see. So that's how it is."

Toph just grinned, not taking his bait. "Hey, I have to call it like I see it."

And apparently tossing out some of her own.

Snorting, Zuko returned the favor from earlier, lightly punching Toph on the shoulder. She grinned and punched him right back, before tossing the coin sack up in the air- and promptly failed to catch it, just barely moving her foot out of the way in time so she didn't have her toes crushed by two hundred gold pieces.

"...that wasn't my best idea."

"Maybe _I _should carry this." Zuko said, stooping down to pick up the bag. "Come on. If we make good time, we might be able to get in a spar of our before dawn."

"Sweet. I was just thinking I hadn't fought enough tonight." Toph said. From anyone else, it might have been sarcasm, but she was nothing short of sincere. "Maybe we can even get some work done on those puny fireballs of yours."

Zuko narrowed his eyes. "I thought you said my fireballs were getting better."

"And they are!" Toph said. "You know, compared to _nothing_."

Zuko glared at her for a second longer, before cracking a smile, dropping the act. "Yeah, okay. That's fair."

"Chin up, Scruffy." Toph said. "Maybe by the end of the year, you'll actually be throwing some _real _fire around."

Zuko laughed, falling into step behind Toph. From anyone else, those words would have stung, but he knew that Toph didn't actually mean any of it. She didn't actually care if he was a strong firebender or not- no part of their friendship hinged on his ability to live up to impossible expectations. After spending so long living in his sister's shadow, it was nice to be around someone who didn't care about the color of his fire.

Well, not that Toph could _see _the color of his fire, but still.

Speaking of Azula... it was strange how different she and Toph were, in spite of both of them being bending prodigies. Maybe Azula wasn't the _greatest _firebender in the world yet, but she was well on her way to being one. He wouldn't be surprised if in a few years, she learned how to wield lightning, the same way father and uncle could. It was a technique he'd never been able to master- or one that anyone had ever bothered trying to teach him.

After all, why bother? He was clearly an inferior firebender.

"You okay?" Toph's voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Your heartbeat's doing that thing again."

"Just thinking." Zuko said. "Someone asked me if you were my sister today."

"Neat." Toph said. "Always wanted a brother."

"Thanks." Zuko smiled. "I've always wanted a sister that doesn't try to kill me."

Toph whistled, the sound cutting through the night. "That bad?"

"It wasn't always like that." Zuko admitted. Strange as it was to think, there _was _a time he'd gotten along with Azula- but that time had long since passed.

"Yeah, well, your family sucks." Toph said. "But then, mine does too."

Zuko thought of the way the Beifongs spoke about their daughter, and had to agree. There might be actual love there, but it was clear that it was directed towards someone that didn't actually exist. At least his father had always been open about how much he'd loathed him- he'd just been too stupid to pick up on the signals.

Not anymore.

"Well, if _my _family sucks," Zuko began, "-and _your _family sucks, why don't we just... be each others family instead?"

Toph came to a halt, staring up at him. Zuko froze, suddenly feeling embarrassed and second guessing himself. What if he'd read the signals wrong? He'd thought...

"Wait," Toph said, "-I thought we were _already _family."

Zuko blinked, staring at her. "You thought...?"

"I mean... yeah?" Toph said, frowning. "Did you not...?"

"No," Zuko said quickly, "-no I thought- I mean yes. Yes, I do. Think of you like a sister."

"Oh." Toph blinked- then grinned. "Well in that case, welcome to the family, big brother! How about an ass kicking to make it official?"

Zuko scrunched up his nose. "Actually you know what? I take that back."

"Nope," Toph shook her head, "-too late for take backs. Time for your inaugural ass kicking."

Cackling, Toph took him by the wrist while he pretended to drag his feet. It was kind of funny- she'd taken him by the wrist like this the first time they had met too. Back then, he never could have imagined that they would have become friends- much less family. But Toph had worked her way into his heart, winning her over with the same kind of ease she'd taken down those earthbenders tonight.

"My name," he blurted out before he could stop himself, "-it's actually Zuko."

Toph paused, partially releasing his wrist- before grasping it just as firmly as before. He didn't know if she'd recognized his name or not, but deep down, he knew it didn't matter.

"_Zuko_, huh?" She asked. "Well, you still look more like a Scruffy to me."

"You realize those are fighting words, right?" Zuko asked.

Toph just grinned.

* * *

She kicked _Zuko's _ass.

Somehow it was way more fun than Earth Rumble.


	11. two kids loose in ba sing se (what will

Hey y'all, long time no see! Here at long last is the start of the (first) Ba Sing Se arc. It should be around four chapters long, including this one, and hopefully if everything goes as plans, it should be a lot of fun! It also should be the last pre-canon bit before we hit canon territory, although there will still be awhile before we actually hit The Blind Bandit and Zuko and Toph joining the Gaang. There's some season one stuff that needs to be addressed before we can get to that!

Anyways, as always, thanks for reading!

* * *

**kintsugi**

**two kids loose in ba sing se (what will they do)**

**part one**

* * *

"Ba Sing Se?"

Glancing up from his food, Zuko looked across the table at Xia-Su. Around them, the usual ebb and flow of that day's gossip continued, but he tuned it out. It was more comforting than anything else anyways.

"Yeah," Xia-Su said, snatching another dumpling from the communal table, "-every few years, Lord Beifong goes there with his wife. Something about _making connections_."

Xia-Su rolled her eyes, and he had to bite back a snort. Back when he'd still been a prince, there had never been any shortage of nobles who came to the palace for no other reason than to schmooze. It had been exhausting even back then, listening to the way they tried to butter up first to his grandfather and uncle, and then to his father. Sometimes they'd even attempt to do it directly to him and Azula- especially those with daughters and sons, hoping to find an advantageous match for their family.

He'd hated it.

"Anyways," Xia-Su continued, nibbling on her dumpling as she spoke, "-they're planning another trip for early fall."

Zuko hummed, glancing briefly out the window. The summer solstice had only just passed. Fall was _months _away, but if he knew one thing about noble processions, it was that they could take that long just to plan. Even just going to Ember Island when he was a child had been a production, and that was back when his father was just the second Prince. He couldn't imagine how much more complicated it was for Earth Kingdom nobles traveling in the middle of a war.

Zuko took a bite of his rice, before reaching out to snatch another dumpling for himself. "So how long are they usually gone?"

"It depends." Xia-Su said. "They've only gone on one other trip since I joined the staff, but the last time they went, they were gone for maybe a month."

"A month, huh?" Zuko asked. "That's a pretty long time."

"It'd be longer if they went by land, but they make most of the trip by boat." Xia-Su said. "At least, that's what Yun told me. He went with them on their last trip."

He tried not to grimace at the mention of the word _boat_. The last time he'd been on one, he'd been delirious with fever, a recently banished prince being sent into exile. It had been nearly three years since then, and he didn't doubt that most of the Fire Nation thought him dead.

In a sense, they'd be right. He wasn't dead, but _Prince _Zuko had definitely perished somewhere between Sei Wan and Gaoling. Now he was just Zuko.

Or depending on who you asked, _Li_.

"So do you think he'll go again this year?" Zuko asked. It'd be kind of lonely not having him around for a full month, maybe longer. He sometimes reminded him of Uncle- if Uncle gave out questionable advice instead of indecipherable proverbs.

(He'd yet to figure out which was worse.)

"Are you kidding me?" Xia-Su laughed. "He got so seasick that he said he never wanted to get on a boat again, even if it _was _a direct request from Lord Beifong."

Zuko chuckled, only feeling a little bad for laughing at someone who wasn't here. Yun was busy serving the Beifongs their nightly tea, Toph included. He'd eat his dinner later, once they were done, with all the other servants who served the Beifongs their nightly meal. For his part, once he was done eating he would head back to wait for Toph, so that he could escort her back to her room after dinner. Since dinner service was so long, he was able to take a break to eat during it.

Unless they had guests. Then he'd have to wait.

"Yeah," he said, "-that sounds like Yun."

"He'll deny it, but we've got him pegged." Xia-Su grinned. "Miyuki should announce the list of who's going closer to the trip. I'm just hoping its not _me_."

Zuko blinked, somewhat surprised by that. "You don't want to go?"

"Let me put it this way," Xia-Su said, leaning in close, "-I had a choice between coming here, and going to Ba Sing Se, and I chose _here_."

"What's so bad about it?" Zuko asked, genuinely curious. "I thought it was supposed to be one of the Earth Kingdom's greatest cities."

At least, that was how Uncle had described it in his letters. He'd always try to envision it whenever they got a new one, attempting to picture the great city with all of its magnificent walls in his head.

And then Lu Ten died, and Ba Sing Se was the last thing he wanted to think about.

"Oh, it is." Xia-Su agreed. "But I also heard that its local police force isn't beyond sinking people into pits of earth for minor infractions."

"Ah," Zuko arched a brow, "-that explains why."

"Yeah, I'm not exactly in a hurry to repeat _that _particular trauma." Xia-Su said. "But what about you? Have you ever been?"

Nearly choking on his food, Zuko quickly shook his head. "No. Never."

If he had, the world would look a lot different now. For one thing, he wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation with Xia-Su. He'd still be a prince, and his Uncle would probably be Fire Lord by now. His family would be whole and intact- his mother still around, and Lu Ten still alive.

And the Earth Kingdom would be in chains. Xia-Su, and everyone here, might be _dead_.

So no. He'd never been to Ba Sing Se.

"What about Toph?" Zuko asked, half trying to change the subject. "Do they take her?"

"The young miss?" Xia-Su frowned. "She stayed here the last time. I'd be surprised if they took her this time."

Yeah, that was about what he thought. They'd never take the risk, not when they (incorrectly) thought of Toph as someone who was delicate and fragile. It would be much safer for them to keep her here, where there was much less chance of a Fire Nation attack.

"Why?" Xia-Su asked. "Do _you _want to go to Ba Sing Se?"

Choking on his food again, Zuko quickly washed it down with tea. Right. If Toph went, then that would mean _he'd _have to go too.

"I'm... not so sure that would be such a good idea."

He might be exiled now, but he'd still been the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation at one point. Ba Sing Se was basically the heart of enemy territory, and even worse, was filled with people who might possibly recognize him- provided he _was _still recognizable, which was up for debate. He had a hard time connecting the person he saw in the mirror now with the person he'd been before, but the same might not be true for everyone.

If he was exposed behind Ba Sing Se's walls, there would be nowhere to run.

Xia-Su just hummed. "Guess there's people there you wouldn't want to see again."

It took him a second to figure out what she meant, before he remembered that most of the servants had already pegged him as an ex-noble long ago, which... wasn't _wrong_. They just thought he was one of the _Earth Kingdom_ variety.

"Yeah, something like that." Zuko lied. He was no more comfortable with it than he was when he first arrived, but he'd learned to live with it. "I'm not embarrassed about being a servant, but I'd rather not... there's things I'd rather not be forced to remember."

Xia-Su very pointedly did _not _look at his scar, but from the way she shifted her feet underneath the table, he knew she was thinking about it. Her limp hadn't improved, nor had it gotten any worse- and for that matter, neither had his scar.

"Yeah," she said, "-I can understand that."

Zuko nodded, quickly finishing his food. It wasn't like he was trying to run away from the conversation or anything, it was just that he should probably get back. He didn't want to be late and make a bad impression on Toph's father. Not that it mattered, since he was certain the man _still _didn't like him, but he didn't want to go out of his way to make himself look bad.

"I should get going," he said, collecting his dishes and getting to his feet, "-don't want to keep Toph waiting."

"Don't forget you're on laundry duty with me tomorrow morning!" Xia-Su called out, seemingly unbothered by his hasty exit.

"I won't!" He called back. "When you see Yun, make fun of the seasickness thing for me!"

"Don't worry," she called after him, "-I will!"

* * *

"Going somewhere, kid?"

"Yeah, to do my _job_," Zuko breezed past Yang, "-which you should probably be doing too."

Next to Yang, Huan bite back a snort. It didn't stop Yang from glaring at his partner- or at _him_, for that matter. But it had been three years, and he'd more than gotten used to Yang's bullshit in that time. It wasn't like they were ever going to get along, so why bother even trying?

Besides, his glare was better.

"You've got a pretty smart mouth for a street urchin, kid." Yang said, unfortunately not one to be deterred. If the Fire Nation propaganda machine ever needed a terrible example of Earth Kingdom stubbornness, then he had a recommendation.

"I thought I was a spy, not a _street urchin_." Zuko remarked, glancing back at him. "You really should make up your mind."

"He's got you there." Huan grinned, giving his partner a less than friendly shove. "He's also right about getting back to work. Break's over. We wouldn't want any more _street urchins _getting in."

Yang shot him another glare before stomping off, muttering something underneath his breath about _stupid Fire Nation brats_. Zuko just huffed, briefly catching Huan's eye, who in turn gave him a sympathetic look.

"Sorry as always," he said.

"Sorry you always have to put up with him." Zuko said.

"Oh, it's not that bad." Huan said. "He actually has a lovely singing voice."

Zuko arched a brow. "...he does?"

"No," Huan said, "-I lied. He's as tone deaf as Avatar Qiang."

Zuko chuckled, picturing that far too easily. "As long as he doesn't go serenading any spirits."

The local players' rendition of _that _particular saga had been one to remember. They put on free public plays ever few months, and going to them had become something of a tradition ever since Yun had invited him to their first. They were better than the ones from Ember Island, even if they had _way _less of a budget. They always covered stories about the Avatars past, and he'd learned a lot from them.

(They never covered the ones from the Fire Nation. But then, they never spoke of _any _Avatars in the Fire Nation- not even their own.)

"Let's hope not, huh?" Huan laughed, before waving him off and hurrying to follow after his partner.

He watched him for a second, before turning on his heel, hurrying down the hall towards the dining hall. He hadn't meant to be held up so long, but he'd still probably make it in time. He'd long since memorized the routine here- and had long since gotten used to being on _this _side of the hustle and bustle of a noble manor. If anyone were to ask him if he missed palace life... well, probably not. He might be hiding who he was, but there was no denying that he was freer here than he'd ever been anywhere else. He had things that he hadn't since his mother left- people who cared about him, and someone to call a friend.

Compared to that, the life of a pampered prince seemed _lacking_.

Azula would probably laugh if she heard that, and accuse him of having let the peasant lifestyle afflict his brain. He didn't even _want _to consider what his father would think.

He just knew whatever it was, they'd both be wrong.

* * *

"So are you gonna spit it out, or am I going to have to beat it out of you?"

Zuko just snorted, long past wondering how Toph knew when something was on his mind. Anyone who thought that they could pull a fast one on Toph Beifong was a fool.

He'd picked her up from the dining hall as per usual, though her parents had lingered behind for another cup of tea. That too, was as per usual- that was when they discussed matters that they didn't want to say within earshot of Toph. Although considering that everything they said was still in earshot of Yun, who then told it to _him_, nothing around here stayed a secret from Toph for that long.

Like Ba Sing Se, for example.

"It's nothing serious." Zuko said. "I just heard from the other servants that your parents are planning a trip to Ba Sing Se."

It felt a little strange to talk to Toph about the Earth Kingdom capital now that she knew his real name, but if she'd recognized it, she'd never once remarked on it. She either didn't know or didn't care, both of which were strong possibilities. He wasn't sure how well known the name of a disgraced Fire Nation prince would be in the Earth Kingdom, even one who had once been the _Crown _Prince.

(Not that he'd been the Crown Prince for very _long_. By now, Azula had probably been the Crown Princess for longer.)

"Wait, they _are_?" Toph asked in surprise, crinkling her nose. "How am _I _the last one to hear about this? No- wait, nevermind. I know why."

Zuko hummed in response, trailing half a step behind the tiny earthbender. "Xia-Su told me that you didn't go the last time either."

"No_p_e," Toph said, popping the _p_, "-stayed here. Just like I have every time. They're not exactly big on letting me leave the house."

"I've noticed." Zuko said dryly.

Toph snorted, the edge of her lips twitching upwards. "Don't get me wrong, Scruffy- it's not like I actually _want _to go to Ba Sing Se. Everything I've heard about it makes it sound like it has way too many rules- which _boring_. What's the point of going somewhere new if you have to follow a bunch of stuffy rules?"

"Sound logic." Zuko said.

"You're darn right it is!" Toph said, gesturing emphatically with one hand. "But I just at least would like the _option_, you know?"

"Yeah, I think I know what you mean." Zuko agreed. "It's not fun when someone else controls every aspect of your life."

"Tell me about it." Toph grumbled, before perking up just as quick. "Then again, it's not like they control _every _aspect of my life."

"_Nobody _could control every aspect of your life." Zuko said, briefly reaching out to ruffle her hair. Toph no doubt sensed it, but although she grumbled and swatted his hand away, she made no attempt to actually stop it from happening.

"You're darn _tooting _they can't." Toph beamed.

"Although if your parents catch you talking like that, I'm pretty sure they'd wash your mouth out with soap." Zuko pointed out.

"Says the one who taught me." Toph shot back.

"Hey, I didn't teach you all of that." Zuko said, holding up his hands in protest. "You and I both know you learned most of that from the Earth Rumble."

"Okay, fair point." Toph shrugged, before coming to a stop just in front of the door to her room. "Well, this is me. See you later, I guess."

"Yeah, see you later," Zuko agreed, a gleam in eyes his eyes as he added, "-later tonight."

The last thing he saw before Toph shut her door was her broad, tooth-baring grin.

* * *

"I want to bring Toph with us."

Glancing up from his tea, Lao looked at his wife with a deep frown. She was watching him carefully, teacup in hand, waiting for his response.

"Bring Toph where?" He asked, every so slightly narrowing his eyes. "Surely you cannot mean to Ba Sing Se?"

It wasn't often that they risked the journey to the great city, but it was necessary every once in awhile if they wanted to maintain connections. With the war going on, many noble families had fled to the Upper Ring of the city, exchanging their ancestral lands for the safety of the walls. Indeed, his father had purchased a stately home within the walls of the city back when Lao was still a boy, but they had chosen to remain within Gaoling, a decision that he had continued upon becoming the head of the Beifong family.

Still, they did go every so often. Usually it was just the two of them and a few members of their household staff- they had more at their Ba Sing Se manor, but they'd never brought Toph with them before.

At least, not since she was a mere infant.

The journey was simply too risky, and Toph was so fragile. The boat trip alone would be stressful enough for her, and that was without the ever present threat of the Fire Nation. The route they took was relatively safe, but if there was one thing that the Dragon of the West's infamous siege had proved, it was that nowhere in the Earth Kingdom was _truly _safe.

Thankfully, Lao thought, it didn't seem as if there were any others of the Dragon's caliber within the Fire Nation army- and the Dragon himself had apparently retired. His brother, Fire Lord Ozai was a ruthless man to be sure, but with the way he waged the war, his nation would burn out of people long before they managed to burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground.

(But he would still _try_, he thought- and that was what he was worried about.)

"Where else?" Poppy asked.

"You know how dangerous the journey would be for her." Lao reminded his wife. "And the city itself, with all the _refugees_-"

"We have Li now," Poppy said firmly, "-and the war..."

She didn't finish her sentence, but he knew what she was going to say. The war was still far away from Gaoling, but the Fire Nation's presence in the Earth Kingdom had been growing stronger every year, ever since the new Fire Lord had been crowned. Perhaps it would only be a matter of time before Gaoling was no longer free.

In which case, fleeing to Ba Sing Se would be their only option.

(Omashu, with its lunatic king would _hardly_ be a good fit for Toph.)

"I simply think it would be a good chance to help familiarize Toph with our estate there, in case the worst should happen before she's of marriageable age." Poppy finished. "I know you are concerned for her safety, but know that I am always thinking of it too. And I believe that taking Toph with us would be for the best in the long run."

Lao arched a brow, but he was forced to admit she had a point. Should they ever be forced to flee Gaoling, it would help calm Toph if they fled to somewhere she was already familiar with, rather than somewhere she had never been. Still, even with Li to protect her, the mere thought of taking her out of the safety of the manor grounds caused his stomach to churn.

The knowledge that Li would protect her was a cold comfort, really.

And he _would _protect her. He'd had his doubts at first, but the child had proven himself both loyal and skilled- mostly loyal. There had thankfully been no incidents in these past years that warranted the drawing of his swords, but he did not doubt that he would lay his life on the line to protect his daughter. Likely, he understood that without Toph, he wouldn't have the life he did today.

Gratitude was a powerful motivator.

Of course, he fully believed that the friendship he felt towards his daughter was genuine, but there would always be that underlying debt between the two of them, even if Toph didn't realize it. All that mattered was that _Li _did- and that was all the reassurance he needed to know that their friendship would never go beyond what was acceptable for their difference in station.

(He still didn't entirely _like _the boy, but he at least _trusted _him.)

"I suppose you have a point." Lao admitted. "I shall consider it."

Poppy smiled, and there was something in it that made him feel as if she'd already won.

* * *

Toph sneezed, then proceeded to wipe her snot on the sleeve of her nightclothes.

"Huh," she said, "-I wonder if Scruffy's talking about me."

* * *

Zuko sneezed, the candle he was meditating in front of flickering erratically in response.

"Ugh," he crinkled his nose, "-I hope it's not Azula. She never says anything nice."

* * *

He scored a lucky hit that night.

Toph proceeded to ensure it was his _only _one.

* * *

Lao woke the next morning already knowing his answer. Judging from the look on her face, so did his wife.

"Very well," he said, "-she can come."

* * *

"Is something the matter, Toph?"

Toph, who definitely had _not _been touching where Zuko had scored a lucky hit the previous night, just smiled at her mother. She'd woken up this morning with a nasty bruise on her thigh from his sword hilt, but that was okay- she'd made sure to give Zuko one to match.

"Everything's fine, mother." Toph only half-lied. A little bruise wasn't about to do anything more than mildly annoy her, but best to keep it from her mother. "Didn't you say you had something you wanted to discuss?"

"Yes, of course." Poppy said, sounding just a touch distracted. "You know how your father and I sometimes take trips to Ba Sing Se, right?"

Yeah, that's what she thought. When her mother had asked her to stay behind after their morning meal, she'd had a feeling this was about their trip. She couldn't _wait _to hear about how much they'd miss her while they were gone, but for her safety, she had to remain here. It was just too _dangerous _for her to travel when she was _clearly _so fragile and helpless, unable to do anything for herself.

Ugh.

And yet, she managed to say none of that, instead plastering a perfectly neutral expression on her face. "Of course, mother."

"Your father and I were planning to take another one early this autumn," Poppy began, "-and we were wondering if you would like to come with us this time."

Yep, just as she-

...wait.

_What?_

Toph's mouth hung slightly open, caught in the beginning of a rote reply. Just outside, she could sense Zuko nursing the back of his head, seeing as he'd jerked into attention so fast that he'd smacked it against the wall. And honestly- she couldn't blame him.

She couldn't blame him at all.

"I thought," Toph began, part of her wondering if this was some kind of test, "-I thought it was too dangerous for me to go."

"That was before we had Li," her mother stated, "-now that he's here, we have someone around who can ensure your safety at all times."

"And father-?"

"Your father was against it at first, of course," her mother's tone was ever so slightly sly, "-but I managed to wear him down."

It wasn't often that she found herself struck speechless. The last time it had happened, it was when she'd made the connection between Zuko's scar and his father. She'd been horrified, because as much as her parents isolated and confined her, they would _never _lay their hands on her. So that someone could do that to their own _child_...

...it had been beyond her understanding.

Just like this, actually. _This _was so outside the bounds of what she expected from her mother, from her _parents_, that for a moment, she honestly had no idea how to respond.

And then she did.

"_Yes_," she said quickly- maybe a little _too _quickly, "-yes, I would."

"Wonderful!" Poppy exclaimed. "I just know you'll love Ba Sing Se. It is such a lovely city."

Toph almost made a comment that she had no way to discern what was lovely and what wasn't, before she remembered who it was she was talking to. Instead she simply nodded her head, using her connection to the earth as an anchor to ground her. She could feel Zuko through her earth sense, his heartbeat doing that thing where it spiked for reasons only ever known to him.

(He'd told her his real name like it had meant something to the _world_, and not just to her. But whatever that first meaning was, she had no idea.)

(If it meant more to the world than it did to her, she'd be very surprised.)

"Now go on," the way her mother didn't even wait for an answer brought some needed familiarity to the situation, "-you shouldn't keep Li waiting much longer."

At a loss for what else to do, Toph rose to her feet, heading towards the door- before she paused. Turning her head, she inclined it in her mother's general direction. "Thank you."

For once, she actually _meant _it.

* * *

"I thought you _hated _Ba Sing Se."

"I do," Toph said, "-I'm just also not stupid enough to refuse any offer to actually _leave_ this damn place."

Zuko chuckled, even though his heart was still doing that weird anxious pitter-patter. "So when do you think your parents plan on informing _me_?"

The edge of Toph's lips quirked upwards. Figures they wouldn't bother briefing the person who was supposed to protect her first.

"If I were the betting kind-"

"You are."

"-exactly, which is why I'm betting father will pull you aside later for a _talk_." Toph finished. "I still can't believe he _agreed_. That's so unlike him."

"I guess maybe miracles really _do _happen." Zuko said, his heartbeat now a lot steadier than it had been earlier. "Next thing you know, the Avatar will come back."

Toph snorted, patting Zuko firmly on the back. He didn't flinch when she touched him anymore. He barely flinched when _anyone _touched him these days.

"Yeah," she said, "-like _that'd _happen."

* * *

Ba Sing Se.

He was going to _Ba Sing Se_.

His life was sounding more and more like someone's idea of a bad joke. The nephew of the Dragon of the West, just waltzing into the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se, like an invited guest. If they ended up being invited to the palace, he might _actually _scream.

It just sounded so _surreal_! He'd been so worried about getting caught when Xia-Su had brought it up before, but now all he could think about was how absurd this was. His Uncle had spent nearly _three years_ trying to conquer it, and had lost so much because of it. And now apparently he was just going to walk right in?

They were lucky he wasn't _actually _a spy.

(Not that he could conquer Ba Sing Se even if he tried. He didn't have that kind of luck.)

But hey- at least now he'd have _one _thing over Azula. She could gloat about her blue fire all she wanted, but _he'd _be the first one to step foot in the Upper Ring.

(Agni, he hoped he'd _stay _the only one.)

* * *

Azula sneezed, quietly and politely, because she was a princess, and princesses did _not _draw attention to their sneezes.

"Whoever it is," she narrowed her eyes, "-they'd better be saying _good _things."

* * *

"Li, might I have a word with you?"

With his best smile plastered on his face, Lao met the eyes of his daughter's bodyguard. It was thankfully an easier endeavor than it had once been, now that his hair had grown out enough to both cover his mangled ear and conceal the fact that he only had one eyebrow. The scar itself was no less disfiguring than it had been when he'd first laid eyes on it, but he'd grown more used to the sight of it.

(If nothing else, it served as a powerful deterrent.)

"Of course." Li uncrossed his arms from in front of his chest, pushing himself off the wall he had been leaning against.

Inside, Toph was busy with one of her tutors, though he was unsure which. While he had been the one to arrange her lessons with Master Yu, he left all other matters of education up to Poppy. She would know far better than he the necessary skills for a young noble girl- or at least, the ones Toph could actually _learn_.

No one wanted an uneducated wife- at least, no one worth mentioning did.

"It is about what my wife discussed with Toph this morning." Lao began. "Have you heard yet that were are planning a trip to Ba Sing Se?"

"I've hard it mentioned, yes." Li said.

"Excellent. That saves me some time." Lao said. "We are planning to bring Toph with us, so naturally, she will require someone to guard her. I am certain that I do not need to brief you on how perilous travel can be in these times."

Li shook his head, a solemn expression on his face. "No."

Yes, he didn't think he would. If anyone would know how dangerous wartime travel was, it would be a refugee.

Of course, they would be taking far safer routes than what was available to any mere refugee. He would waste no expense to ensure that they arrived in Ba Sing Se safely, _especially _with Toph now accompanying them.

"Good." Lao said. "We will depart in early autumn."

Li bowed, smooth and flawless as always. In spite of his rough appearance, he was at the very least well-mannered. Whoever had raised him had taught him well.

"I will see to it that Toph comes to no harm." Li promised.

"I am certain you will." Lao said. "Now, do you have a passport?"

Li blinked, lifting his head. "A passport?"

Lao frowned, thoughtfully stroking his mustache. It was fairly common knowledge that in order to enter Ba Sing Se, one needed a passport. But it was just as true that he had no idea from which part of the Earth Kingdom Li originated- it was entirely possible that what passed for common knowledge there was quite different.

"It is required if you wish to enter Ba Sing Se." Lao explained. "But no matter. I can easily obtain one for you."

"Oh," Li shifted uncomfortably on his feet, abruptly dropping his gaze, "-um, thanks."

"Think nothing of it." Lao said dismissively. "You will receive more details closer to the date. That is all."

Li simply bowed again, choosing to say nothing. Lao chose to watch him for a moment, before leaving. Out of the corner of his eye, Li lifted his head, watching him as he did so. His gaze was as unreadable as it was intense, his eyes an unnatural gold.

Truly, he would never fully be comfortable in his presence. But if he could keep Toph happy and above all _safe_, then little else mattered.

* * *

"So how was talking to my father?"

Since they were within the manor grounds, Toph walked just ahead of him. Otherwise, she'd be walking right by his side- but either way, she always stood on his right.

He never said anything, but she knew he appreciated it.

"Apparently he's getting me a passport." Zuko remarked.

"Huh," Toph said, "-well that makes sense, I guess. Can't get into Ba Sing Se without it."

"Guess not." Zuko said.

They lapsed into a bit of a silence, Zuko clearly in a contemplative mood. She couldn't blame him. As much as he'd gotten better at flinging fire around during their sparring matches, sometimes it was easy to forget that he was actually Fire Nation. Someone like Zuko wasn't _supposed _to just waltz into a place like Ba Sing Se, and no one seemed to be more aware of that than the person himself.

Actually, thinking about that...

"...so do you think it counts as fraud if he doesn't know?"

Zuko very nearly choked on his own laughter. It was an improvement.

* * *

"Li? Li!"

Li jerked his head up, his eyes wide with surprise. Heaving a slight sigh, Xia-Su simply grabbed his bowl and ladled soup into it herself, before handing it back to the still bewildered boy. He took it, staring dumbly at the bowl for a few seconds, before offering her a sheepish look.

"Sorry," he said, stepping out of line to let the person behind him step up, "-zoned out."

"I never could have guessed." Xia-Su remarked, ladling soup into the bowl of the person behind him. "So? What's on your mind?"

"Apparently I'm going to Ba Sing Se."

Xia-Su blinked, letting that sink in for a moment. If Li was going to Ba Sing Se, that meant...

"They're taking the young miss?" She asked, just barely remembering to ladle soup into another servant's bowl. "That's... _new_."

Li snorted. "Tell me about it."

"She must be pretty excited about it." Xia-Su said. "I can't imagine being cooped up for so long in one place by _choice_."

Li very pointedly did _not _look at her leg, but from the way his left eye twitched, she knew he was thinking about it. Just because she understood their concerns, it didn't mean that she necessarily _agreed _with Lord and Lady Beifong's choice to keep Toph confined to the manor at all times. It might be large enough to fit dozens of healing huts within its walls, but there was only so much confinement one could take.

They'd built the young missus' prison with love, but it was still a prison.

She'd had a prison once too. Nobody had forced her to stay, but she had still been unable to leave for the longest time. If the healer hadn't kept her busy, she would have gone mad long before she'd worked up the courage to take that single step outside.

("_It is true that a journey of a thousand miles starts with but one single step,_" an old man with sad eyes had once told her, "-_but what they do not tell you is how difficult that one step can sometimes be._")

Still, if this was a sign that things were changing, then she could only be glad for it.

And yet...

"How do _you _feel about it?" Xia-Su asked.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice." Li said. "It's my job."

Xia-Su hummed in understanding, even as she saw the anxiety at the corner of Li's eyes. It was no surprise. If she didn't miss her guess, then he'd been a Fire Nation noble once, and _not _the kind that came from the colonies. Him marching into Ba Sing Se would likely be no different than the young miss marching into the Caldera. It had to be a terrifying prospect for someone who didn't want to attract attention to himself.

She thought about the rumors she'd heard, and bit her tongue.

No need to scare him further. She didn't even know if they were true.

"Think of it as a chance to do some sightseeing on your employer's dime." Xia-Su offered. "You don't get a chance like that often."

The edge of Li's lips pulled faintly upwards. "I _have _heard Ba Sing Se is nice."

Xia-Su hummed again, if only to keep herself from blurting out the burning question on her lips. She couldn't help it! She was curious about what the Fire Nation might have to say about Ba Sing Se. Surely even _they _couldn't deny that it was an architectural marvel.

She hadn't seen it for herself, but she had no reason to doubt the hype. Otherwise she had some poets to be very mad at.

"In any case, you have months before the trip." Xia-Su said. "Plenty of time to work up some nerve."

Li frowned. "I have nerve."

"I'm sure you do," Xia-Su agreed, "-now go sit down and eat before the soup gets cold. I'm not reheating your bowl."

Li huffed, but nevertheless promptly complied. She watched him with a small smile, before Old Lady An cleared her throat, wordlessly reminding her that dinner service was far from finished and that people were waiting.

Like she wasn't worried about Li herself. She'd seen her give him an extra egg tart, the sly old woman.

* * *

"Yun~!"

In his life, Yun had seen it necessary to establish a few rules. They were all born out of wisdom and experience, such as never trusting the man who sold his own home-brewed sake at the very end of the marketplace unless he wanted to lose his lunch- and a variety of other meals.

Avoiding children who waited for the end of his shift was a recent addition, but no less vital.

It had also never worked even once.

(For someone with a limp, Xia-Su sure could move fast when she wanted to.)

"So," Xia-Su skipped any preamble, giving off some remarkably threatening energy as she placed a hand on his shoulder, "-how do you feel about going back to Ba Sing Se?"

It was almost unfair, Yun thought, that upon reaching her adult height, she had grown _taller _than him. Sure, it was amusing when she loomed over Li, but it was a lot less amusing when she was using it to intimidate him.

"...negatively?" Yun chanced.

He was not going to let a barely twenty year old slip of a girl intimidate him. She _was _intimidating, but he wasn't going to let her. He'd vomited so much over the course of that trip that it had constantly surprised him when he actually had something left to do so with.

Never again, he swore.

"Fascinating." Xia-Su said. "Now what if I asked how you felt about going back to Ba Sing Se... for _Li_?"

Oh. Well. That was a different matter entirely.

* * *

There was a knock on his door.

He didn't look up. The only person who would dare disturb him at this hour was either a guard or the head servant, and judging from the fact that there was no urgency in the knock, it was likely the latter.

"Enter."

Sliding open the door, Miyuki stepped inside, sliding it shut again before kneeling. "I apologize for the disturbance, Lord Beifong."

"No matter." Lao said. "What news do you have?"

"Two of the household staff have petitioned to accompany you to Ba Sing Se." Miyuki explained. "I had them put their request in writing."

Barely looking up from his paperwork, Lao held out a hand. "Give it here."

Miyuki complied, removing a folded paper from her robes and handing it to him. He opened it, scanning the contents with a casual glance before arching a brow. Yun had done an exemplary job in Ba Sing Se, as he always did, but the journey there and back had been so marked by his seasickness that he was more than willing to grant his request to remain behind on future trips. To see him requesting otherwise took him by surprise.

"Very well," he said, barely sparing a look at the head servant, "-I shall consider this."

Miyuki bowed her head, recognizing that as her cue to leave. Setting down his brush, Lao reached produced a fresh section of parchment.

If Xia-Su was to be traveling with them, they'd need an extra ostrich-horse.

* * *

"Is there something on my face?"

"No, nothing at all." Xia-Su was quick to reassure him, her smile suspiciously bright. "Your face is lovely."

"Yep," Yun agreed, his chopsticks missing his mouth entirely, landing somewhere in the realm of his ear, "-nothing going on here."

Zuko arched a brow, but shrugged it off. Whatever they were hiding, it probably wasn't anything serious.

And since when did Xia-Su think his face was _lovely_?

* * *

"What about Earth Rumble?"

"Eh, should be fine." Toph shrugged. "Even if something goes wrong, we should be back in plenty of time for me to defend my title."

"Good," Zuko said, "-I'd hate for you to miss it."

"You just want to see me beat up Fire Nation Man again." Toph grinned, looming over Zuko where he lay on the cave floor.

It was a pleasant bit of nostalgia- at least for her. She didn't get as many chances to knock him on his ass as she used to. He'd been getting better. Which was just fine- if she wanted an easy match, she'd go pick on one of the Earth Rumble contestants.

Still, he had better odds of meeting the Avatar then he did of beating her.

"It's a possibility." Zuko admitted, hauling himself to his feet and brushing the dirt of his clothes. She could sense him already slipping into a firebending stance. "So, ready to go again?"

"You know it."

* * *

"I wonder if they have an Earth Rumble in Ba Sing Se."

"If they do, you'll find it." Zuko grinned.

"You're damn right I will!" Toph's smile was all teeth, bright white and vaguely eerie in the dim light of his lantern. "Who knows? Maybe they'll even have a swordsmanship tournament or something. _I'd _root for you."

"Thanks," Zuko said, "-but you remember I'm trying not to attract attention, right?"

Although a tournament _did _sound fun...

...but no. Ba Sing Se was the heart of enemy territory. He really shouldn't let himself forget that.

"You could always wear a mask." Toph suggested.

Zuko opened his mouth to say something, only to snap it shut. That... wasn't such a bad idea, actually. He'd basically suggested the same thing to Toph back when she'd first been planning to join in on the Earth Rumbles.

"You know what," he said, "-I'll think about it."

Toph squinted vaguely in his direction. "You know I was joking, right?"

Zuko flushed. He hadn't.

"That's okay, Scruffy." Toph assured him. "That's one of your good qualities."

* * *

He put the Blue Spirit mask into his luggage anyways.

It couldn't hurt, right?

* * *

"As you all know by now, Lord and Lady Beifong are planning a trip to Ba Sing- good of you to join us, Li."

Zuko flushed, ducking his head. Next to him, Xia-Su attempted to mask her snickers in her sleeve, while Yun gave his shoulder a sympathetic pat. He thought he'd snuck into the assembly flawlessly, but he swore that Miyuki had extra eyes or something.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "-got a little held up with Toph."

It wasn't like he'd forgotten about today's meeting. It wasn't often that _all _the servants gathered together, including the ones who lived outside of the manor grounds. It was a certifiable crush of people, all eager to hear who was and wasn't going to Ba Sing Se.

"Now that we're all _really _here," Miyuki began, eying him with unmasked amusement before looking at the room as a whole, "-I suppose I can tell you what you're all here to hear- who among you is going to Ba Sing Se."

There was an excited murmur, everyone speculating on who would go. By now, word had spread that Toph would be accompanying her parents, so the number of servants- and guards- they would need to bring had inevitably gone up.

Casting a glance off to the sidelines, he easily pinpointed Yang's looming form. He'd be fine with whoever was going, so long as it wasn't _him_.

"-and finally, Xia-Su and Yun."

Zuko exhaled, held tension escaping his shoulders. Good, no Yang. That was what he-

-wait.

_Xia-Su and Yun?_

"We had Miyuki personally make a request to Lord Beifong." Xia-Su explained when he looked to her for an answer. "I'm glad he approved it."

"But I thought you hated Ba Sing Se." Zuko said.

"I didn't say I _hated _it," Xia-Su shrugged, "-and it wasn't as if I could leave you to go somewhere you were nervous about by yourself. Really, give me more credit."

"But-"

"Don't be so shy!" Yun said, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "Let us adults look out for you from time to time."

Zuko frowned, shifting awkwardly on his feet. He felt a stab of guilt, knowing that neither of them knew the _real _reason why he was feeling anxious about Ba Sing Se. He still didn't like deceiving people, even if it _was _necessary to his survival.

But he couldn't deny how happy being thought of made him.

"Okay," he said, staring more at his feet than at either of them, "-thanks."

Xia-Su and Yun shared a knowing look, the latter ruffling his hair before pulling away. Zuko huffed, making a vain attempt to fix it. He'd briefly considered growing it out to its previous length again, before shelving the idea. Long hair was a sign of nobility, and whatever he was now, it wasn't that.

"Now," Miyuki began, snapping his attention back towards the head servant, "-as for the details of the trip-"

* * *

"Hey kid!"

Behind her, she felt Zuko freeze in his tracks at Yang's voice. Narrowing her eyes, Toph ever so slightly shifted her feet underneath her skirts.

"-don't think for a second that you can- _ah_!"

Anything else Yang might have said was cut off as he stumbled, the earth underneath his feet _mysteriously _starting to rock. Zuko choked back a laugh, his heartbeat going from annoyed to amused in an instant.

"Oh no," Toph said, using her most exaggerated _I'm a helpless girl_ voice as she all but fell into Zuko's arms, "-an earthquake! Li, I'm so scared!"

"Don't worry," Zuko assured her, badly biting back his laughter, "-I'll take you somewhere safe."

Behind them, Yang sputtered, surely about to try and say something awful again.

Toph just made the earth shake harder, until Yang could barely stand. Nobody got away with harassing her friend when _she _was around.

* * *

"Thanks." Zuko told her later, once they were well out of Yang's earshot.

"Hey," she amicably punched him in the arm, "-what else is a little sister for?"

"Shoving you in the turtleduck pond?"

"...no."


End file.
